Luca's POV
I don't sleep. Can't sleep.
Rian's words echo in my head. I love you. I already lost one mate. I can't survive losing you too.
Morning light filters through the barred windows. I'm exhausted, emotionally wrecked, and desperate for distraction.
That's when I notice it—a leather journal on the nightstand. Rian's journal. He must have left it by accident during one of his visits.
I shouldn't read it. It's private. An invasion.
I open it anyway.
The first entries are mundane—pack business, supply notes, training schedules. Then I find older entries, dated years ago.
"Marcus is gone. Three months now. The bond is broken, but I still feel the echo of him. Like a phantom limb. Pack says I need to move on. How do you move on from your soul?"
My throat tightens.
"I thought I'd die with him. Almost wanted to. But the pack needs me. So I keep breathing. Keep leading. Keep pretending I'm not hollow inside."
I flip forward. Months of entries about loneliness, duty, emptiness.
Then:
"I saw him today. In the city. Dark hair, silver streaks, painting in a coffee shop. I couldn't look away. My wolf stirred for the first time in years. Could he be...? No. I won't hope. Hope is dangerous."
Me. He's writing about me.
"I've been watching him for weeks. Not stalking—protecting. He doesn't know about our world, about the dangers. There are rogues in the area. I need to keep him safe. Even if he never knows I exist."
"His name is Luca Carter. 23. Art student. Orphaned young, raised by his grandmother who just passed. He's alone. Grieving. Beautiful. And everything in me screams MINE."
"I can't claim him. It's not right. He's human. He deserves choice. But my wolf is becoming uncontrollable. Every day I don't claim him, the need grows stronger. I'm terrified of what I'll do."
"Rogues attacked near his grandmother's cabin. I had to intervene. Had to protect him. The moment my wolf saw him in danger, instinct took over. I claimed him. God forgive me, I claimed him without permission. But I couldn't lose him. Couldn't risk another mate dying because I wasn't strong enough."
"He hates me. I can feel it through the bond—his fear, his anger, his resistance. It's killing me. But he's alive. Safe. Mine. Even if he never forgives me, at least he's alive."
Tears blur my vision.
"Day three of his captivity. I brought him breakfast. He wouldn't eat. Wouldn't speak. Just stared at me with those beautiful, hate-filled eyes. I want to give him everything. Freedom. Choice. Time. But I'm too terrified. What if he runs? What if something happens to him? I can't survive losing another mate."
"I prepared an art studio for him. Stayed up all night making sure every detail was perfect. Maybe if he has his passion, his purpose, captivity will hurt less. I know it's not enough. Nothing I do will ever be enough to make up for taking his choice. But I have to try."
"He smiled today. Just for a moment, when he saw the studio. That smile—god, that smile. It was like sunlight after years of darkness. I'd give anything to see it again. To earn it genuinely."
"Training session today. Had to touch him, guide him. The bond sang between us. He felt it too—I know he did. For a moment, he leaned into my touch instead of pulling away. Progress. Maybe. Or maybe I'm delusional."
"He tried to escape today. Ran into the forest until the bond pain dropped him. I've never been so terrified in my life. Found him collapsed, barely breathing. Held him while he sobbed. Told him I loved him. I didn't mean to—the words just came out. But they're true. So desperately true. I love him. Obsessively. Completely. Unhealthily, probably. But I can't help it."
"Two days until the ceremony. He hasn't agreed. Might never agree. But I can't wait anymore. Can't risk him running again. So I'll force it. Add another crime to my list. Another reason for him to hate me. But he'll be safe. Bonded. Mine. Even if he despises me forever, at least he'll be alive."
"I think I'm broken. Normal people don't love like this. Don't need like this. But I've been empty for so long. And he fills every hollow place in me. My salvation. My damnation. My Luca."
The journal drops from my numb fingers.
He loves me. Truly, desperately loves me.
Not just mate bond obsession. Real love. The kind that terrifies and consumes.
And he thinks I'll never forgive him.
The door opens. Rian stands there, eyes widening when he sees the journal.
"You read it," he says flatly.
"I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."
"Are you?" He steps inside, closing the door. "Sorry you invaded my privacy? Or sorry you learned the truth?"
"I don't know." I stand, holding the journal out to him. "You really love me."
"I told you that yesterday."
"I thought—I thought it was just the bond. Just desperation." My voice shakes. "But you love me. Before you even claimed me. You loved me."
"Yes." He takes the journal but doesn't look at it. Only at me. "Does it change anything?"
Does it? He still forced this. Still took my choice. Still trapped me.
But he did it because he's terrified. Broken. Desperate to protect what he loves.
"I don't know," I whisper honestly. "But I want to understand. Help me understand."
Something vulnerable flashes across his face. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything." I step closer. "Tell me about Marcus. About what you lost. Help me understand why you're so afraid."
He's quiet for a long moment. Then he sits on the bed, patting the space beside him.
"Okay," he says softly. "I'll tell you everything."
And for the first time, I sit willingly.
Ready to listen.