Jiang Feng tossed the card into his system space, humming a catchy tune as he strutted out the door.
On his way, he casually flipped the sign back to normal.
Battle class was up next.
Time to test out that Smile Card and see if it's as OP as it sounds.
Suddenly, he sensed a wave of Aura closing in.
A delinquent girl with a black X painted on her face and a wild mane of red hair stormed down the hallway, looking like she was ready to throw hands.
This was…
Mali's number-one stan, Team Yell's minion—Seaweed!
Team Yell's whole deal was hyping Mali to championship glory and putting Spikemuth back on the map. Strictly speaking, they were just a fan club, not some evil Team Rocket wannabes.
But their methods? Yeah, a bit extra.
Seaweed, real name pending, was in the same class as Jiang Feng and Mali. Short, with a deceptively cute face marred by Team Yell's signature face tattoo, she was Mali's ride-or-die fangirl.
Over the past few days, Jiang Feng's flower-conjuring magic tricks and angsty love ballads had Mali's heart doing backflips. Seaweed, the loyal sidekick, had already warned him to back off.
"The noble Spikemuth Flower isn't for just anyone to pluck!" she'd said.
Today, Jiang Feng had gone full 007 to pull off his heist. A little something special slipped into Seaweed's lunch had her sprinting to the bathroom with a toot-toot-pffft symphony, giving him just enough time to snag Mali's first kiss.
But now, Seaweed was back from her porcelain pilgrimage. Spotting Jiang Feng strolling out of the girls' lounge, her spidey senses screamed foul play.
Her face darkened. "You bottom-tier scrub, what'd you do to Miss Mali? Where is she?!"
Jiang Feng touched his still-bleeding lip, smirking. "Miss Mali and I were just practicing some lip-to-lip combat. Got a problem, low-level grunt?"
"And who're you calling a scrub? You seen my AE86? Call me the Spikemuth Drift King!"
Bottom-tier? Pfft. With my one-handed Poké Ball spin and shoulder-fake swagger, I'm basically riding shotgun in the cool kids' car.
You can question my morals, but don't you dare question my skills!
In his past life, Jiang Feng was no rookie. He'd studied hard—especially those late-night "human biology" classes with top-tier senseis.
Oh, how he missed the Fusang League's teachers—so open, so real.
As a devout scholar, Jiang Feng recited his daily mantra, the Prajna Paramita Sutra of Thirst:
"Observe the Bodhisattva, plowing deep into the fields of beauty, seeing the cherry blossoms empty, crossing the river of Mio. Jirina Suzu, colors fade to nothing, emptiness is not emptiness, Azusa Misaki is void, Yuzu Akimiri remains. Shereiko, Ichika Matsumoto, Maina Yuri, Moe Angel, Nami Kojima—all fade into the spring hues of Miyazawa."
Would this fused Pokémon metropolis still offer tea ceremony classes? In this materialistic world, the ladies needed a warm harbor—and Jiang Feng was ready to be their lighthouse.
He vowed to himself: once he powered up, he'd take a trip to the Fusang League next door.
By next September eighth, I'll ride into Tokyo and admire the cherry blossoms!
"Pfft! Can't even tame your starter Pokémon, and you think you can chase Mali? You're a blue toad dreaming of gourmet butt!" Seaweed spat.
"You keep sniffing around her, and Team Yell's gonna break your legs!"
Okay, maybe not actually break his legs—just some tough talk to scare him off from pestering their queen.
Seaweed's bark was worse than her bite.
Jiang Feng, spooked for like half a second, shrugged it off…
BOOM!
He raised his fist and smashed through a training sandbag meant for Pokémon. Seaweed's jaw hit the floor.
Is this guy even human?!
That kind of strength!
"I'm a timid guy, y'know. Get scared, I start swinging," Jiang Feng said, blowing on his fist like a badass. "But don't worry, I don't hit girls."
You think my Ash Ketchum Physique is a joke? You know nothing of a Super True Newbie's power!
What a shame, born in the wrong era.
With this cheat-tier strength, he'd have been a match for the legendary General Pan Feng in ancient times!
After all, nobody's prettier than me who can fight like this, and nobody who fights like this is prettier than me.
So, logically, I can take on ten guys.
Flawless reasoning!
"You… you think punching stuff makes you hot stuff? Out here, you need clout, connections! Team Yell's gonna make you regret this!" Seaweed stammered.
Team Yell? More like Team Cheerleader!
Jiang Feng waved her off and sauntered to the school training field.
Trainers were scattered about, hyping up their Pokémon in heated practice sessions. No sign of the adorable Mali—she'd probably bolted to who-knows-where.
But then, a round, jolly figure waddled over… Wei Littlefat.
With that physique and name, this guy was straight out of central casting for "web novel comic relief sidekick." Every MC needs a chubby hype man to make their flexing feel extra.
"Yo, Jiang Feng, where you been? Teacher Kena called roll, and you were AWOL. I covered for ya—said you were dealing with kidney issues, frequent urination, the works. No need to thank me," Wei Littlefat said, grinning like he expected a medal.
Jiang Feng's face darkened.
"Bathroom's one thing, but kidney issues? Frequent urination? You had to go there?"
"Couldn't you just say I was, I dunno, busy?"
Wei Littlefat got serious. "Nah, man, I had to sell it—give the full story: cause, process, result. Makes it believable!"
Wow, this guy!
That logic was so airtight, Jiang Feng was almost impressed.
Almost.
He couldn't help it—he aimed a kick at the guy.
"Hey, I dodge! Can't hit me, can't hit me!" Wei Littlefat, nimble despite his size, danced out of the way with surprising agility.
Jiang Feng rolled his eyes, too done to deal with him.
A moment later, Wei Littlefat sidled back up, all sneaky-like. After checking no one was watching, he pulled out… a spicy photo magazine from his jacket.
Jiang Feng put on his best righteous face. "Yo, none of that! You're messing with my pure heart!"
But his eyes flicked to the cover, and damn—those were some impressive assets.
Who baked those buns?!
Talk about generous portions!
"Fine, just this once," Jiang Feng muttered, snatching the magazine.
Purely for research, of course.
In this kid-friendly Pokémon world, sights like these were rare. Back in the day, he was too busy watching Pokémon battles to notice.
Big mistake.
Pokémon? Cool. But these? Way cooler.
Maybe studying this would unlock the secrets to a Mega Rasengan or some killer move. One hand spinning a Poké Ball, the other breaking through tight defenses—opposing trainers wouldn't stand a chance!
Jiang Feng coughed twice, all casual, and pocketed the magazine.
Let's see who's packing this kind of thunder…