"Sorry, babe, I'm just a two-and-a-half-year veteran trainee, not a full-fledged Trainer yet."
"So, I'm gonna have to pass on the challenge."
Mali: …!
"Then what do I have to do to get my hair clip back?!"
Oh ho ho, she's opening the door for negotiations.
Jiang Feng rubbed his hands, his grin creeping into full-on gremlin mode:
"Heh heh, Miss Mali, you don't want to lose that precious hair clip, do ya?"
What a sleazy smirk!
Mali's heart skipped a beat, her thighs instinctively clenching.
"No naughty thoughts allowed!"
Her mind flashed to those weirdly cute, steamy scenes from rom-com anime.
A little scared…
When Jiang Feng pulled his stunt earlier, that dizzying, weightless, almost euphoric paralysis had her panicking. Was this what love felt like?
So… tingly…
The Sea King System's gear-dropping moment sapped a girl's stamina, mimicking the high of, well, post-workout exhaustion. Y'know, that empty yet satisfied vibe.
"Form is emptiness, emptiness is form!" Jiang Feng declared, holding up three fingers, planning to scam three kisses. Easy way to farm system rewards and have some fun.
Three? Mali nodded, all business. "Three grand? Deal, I'll transfer it now."
Jiang Feng: …?!
I didn't say three grand—you did!
His original plan was three kisses—score some Mali action and system loot. Win-win!
But three grand? Not bad either.
Jiang Feng wasn't exactly swimming in cash like those internet flexers with their "million-a-year" vibes.
Broke as a Bidoof, he was this close to eating soft rice…
Didn't see that coming—Mali's a secret sugar mama!
The way she didn't even blink at three grand? Like it was pocket change!
I love your badass, money-is-dirt energy… I'm in love!
Talk about a glow-up in perspective!
Wise men don't fall in love—unless it's with a rich babe!
As for farming rewards via kisses, no rush—your boy's got plans.
"I just love making friends with straightforward, loaded folks like you!"
Real talk, you'd need deep pockets to keep a Morpeko fed.
But what's her deal? The anime never spilled the tea on Mali's background. Her brother Nie Zi, a singer-songwriter, had a small fanbase but wasn't exactly topping the charts. Otherwise, Spikemuth Gym wouldn't be such a dump.
What if… they're secret lovechildren of some mega-rich tycoon?
If Jiang Feng locked down Mali now, he could eat soft rice with a gold-plated spoon! Heh heh heh!
Jiang Feng let out a righteous cackle.
Handsome face, but why's his vibe so skeevy?! Mali shot him a glare, pulling out her phone. "Show me the QR code, I'll send it."
Jiang Feng, all eager, fished his phone out of his pants like it was a sacred relic.
Beep…
"Why's this a friend request QR code?" Mali asked, squinting.
Jiang Feng shrugged. "Sorry, I don't take transfers from strangers."
"Huh? Oh, fine." She didn't overthink it and added him.
"Spikemuth's #1 Loverboy?"
What a thirsty username! Mali mentally roasted him, then sent the cash.
"Now give me my hair clip!"
"Hold up, three grand's just the deposit. I didn't say I'd hand it over now."
He whistled, leaning full rogue mode.
"Jiang Feng, you shameless jerk! You scammed me again!"
Free three grand? Who does that?! Mali's rage nearly triggered her auntie's early visit, and she lunged, throwing punches and kicks!
"Quit yelling like you're summoning Groudon!" Jiang Feng caught her hands. "Look, I don't want to be like this…"
"No money, no clout, no connections—survival's rough. Gotta rely on my face to eat. So, three grand? That's your sponsorship fee."
"No scams, no regrets—best deal in town!"
"Chill, chill! I'll treat you to more plum sauce, how's that?"
Jiang Feng pinned her hands above her head, wall-slamming her like a pro.
Rumor has it, one-handed wall-lean plus a devilish smirk triggers a leg-weakening debuff on girls! (Warning: Try at your own risk! Medical bills not included!)
He leaned in close, whispering in her ear.
"Dear Lady Mali, trust me—three grand for a loyal simp? Absolute steal."
"P.S., I'm really good at simping."
Jiang Feng's life motto: Simp for one, you're a lapdog. Simp for all, you're a Sea King! Hardcore simping? That's a War Wolf!
Mali's face went ice-cold. "Try anything funny, and I'll bite you to death!"
Sensing her rage meter about to explode, Jiang Feng chuckled and let go. She wasn't just some pushover.
"Alright, no teasing. Want the hair clip? One condition."
Mali's chest heaved, still reeling from the almost moment. It felt… kinda nice, but her girly pride screamed no way! She wasn't falling that easily.
"What's the condition?"
"Let me train Combusken at Spikemuth Gym for a month," Jiang Feng said, revealing his master plan.
Spikemuth Gym had top-tier training gear—way better than the school's. Plus, close proximity to Mali meant more chances to flirt and farm rewards.
Win-freaking-win.
"A month of training, then you return it? You're not scamming me again, are you?" Mali's eyes narrowed, scarred by his shady track record.
"Let me reintroduce myself—I'm Jiang Feng!"
"Known in the streets as Honest Upright Little Hottie!"
When I scam you, I'm super honest! In battles, I'm straight-up savage!
Honest my ass—guy's got 800 hidden agendas!
Mali's cute eyes twinkled with a sly idea. She nodded, smirking.
Get him to Spikemuth Gym, and I'll whoop his butt six ways to Sunday!
With a mischievous grin, she scooped up Morpeko and strutted off.
Combusken, smitten by Morpeko's charm, tried to trail after her like a lovesick puppy. Jiang Feng yanked it back.
"No game, dude! Stop simping for her butt!"
From around the corner, Wei Littlefat slunk over, all sneaky-like.
"Jiang Feng, magic tricks, love songs—you actually trying to bag Mali?!"
Wei had clocked Jiang Feng's non-stop flirting these past few days.
He was shook—old Jiang Feng wasn't this guy.
Desire changes a man, huh…
"Prime waifu material—who wouldn't want her? What, with this face, I'm not good enough?" Jiang Feng shot back.
Real talk: he was after her body and her bank account.
Who's with me? Who's against me?!
Wei nodded sagely. "Nah, you're not. It's like sticking a Bellossom in Tauros dung—tragic."
Jiang Feng bristled. "You get one shot to rephrase that."
"Speak nice, or we're done."
Universal truth: pretty girls get screwed over, hot guys get worked to death.
With his reader-tier, devilishly explosive charm, Jiang Feng was born to be a jade-faced Sea King!
Wei clasped his hands behind his back, swaying like a wise monk. "Youth's wasted chasing young girls—real treasure's in mature ladies!"
"Girls like Mali? No skills, no curves, don't even know how to switch positions when you spank 'em—not worth it!"
Wei ranted, pounding his chest and shaking his head like a disappointed sage.
Jiang Feng raised an eyebrow. "What if the girl's a sugar mama?"
He whipped out his phone, flashing the 3,000 bucks Mali sent.
Three grand sponsorship fee?
Wei froze, his worldview shattered. He slapped himself hard enough to wake a Snorlax.
"Pfft—forget mature ladies! Sugar mamas are my true love!"
"Damn you, Jiang Feng! Eating soft rice behind my back?!"
"Where's the 'rich bros stick together' vibe?!"
"Where's the earth-shaking brotherhood?!"
Scared your bro's struggling, but more scared he's flexing in a Land Rover!
"I'm pissed now!" Wei declared. "Foot spa, let's roll! Tonight, I'm convincing Xiao Li to go straight!"
Wei slipped into his "nothing going on, time for a massage" mode. Jiang Feng gave him a thumbs-up.
"Love sparks when the clock ticks, but when it stops, the heart's a mess. You're one dedicated chubster, Wei!"
Men's two great hobbies: dragging good girls down, lifting fallen girls up. Wei was a master of the latter.
Six years in, he'd gone from pure-hearted teen to Foot Spa Grand Elder, his passion unwavering!
"Damn straight! Gambling dad, sick mom, kid brother in school, and poor broken Xiao Li!"
"If I don't save her, who will?"
Wei struck a dramatic 45° skyward gaze, oozing romance.