Director Mason had only one goal when he accepted this movie:
Make a clean, punchy, commercially successful action film.
He did not sign up for:
trending hashtags
fan edits
accidental romantic tension
real martial arts
Aria sniffing out hidden snacks
Julian playing along with chaos like it's his second language
And today, as he stared at the studio's newest email, he realized:
His life is officially ruined.
The Studio's Demands Arrive
A trembling assistant handed Mason a printed letter.
"From the executives," he whispered, fleeing immediately.
Mason read the message.
Hands shaking.
Voice cracking.
The letter said:
> "Due to the unexpected popularity of the leaked warehouse scene,
we request that the production incorporate more emotional
and intimate tension between the leads.
Please increase their interactions. Fans love them."
Mason screamed.
A long, primal, cinematic scream.
"THEY WANT ROMANTIC TENSION?!
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXPLOSIONS MOVIE!!!"
Daniel nodded sympathetically.
"They said fans love chemistry."
"I DON'T CARE WHAT FANS LOVE! I LOVE MY HAIR!"
Julian and Aria Walk In at the Worst Possible Moment
The universe hates Mason.
It's the only explanation.
Because the exact second Mason said "I LOVE MY HAIR," Julian walked in, golden lighting blessing his perfect face.
And Aria walked in behind him, quiet and graceful as always.
Both looked at Mason with curiosity.
Julian tilted his head.
"Mason… were you yelling?"
Aria blinked.
"Are you hurt?"
Mason pointed at them dramatically.
"No. YOU TWO are hurting me."
Aria blinked again.
"We did not touch you."
"EMOTIONALLY!! YOU'RE HURTING ME EMOTIONALLY!!"
Julian coughed politely.
"…How?"
Mason slapped the studio letter onto Julian's chest.
"THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"
Julian read it.
Smirked.
Aria read it over his shoulder.
Blink.
Julian looked at Mason.
"So… you want us to get closer?"
"NO, THE STUDIO WANTS IT!"
Aria asked calmly:
"How close?"
Daniel grabbed her shoulders.
"ARIA NO—DON'T LEARN DISTANCE FROM JULIAN, LEARN IT FROM ME."
Mason's Breakdown Continues
Mason paced back and forth like a dying animal.
"They want intimate tension…
They want MORE moments between you two…
I'M DIRECTING A ROMANCE BY ACCIDENT!"
Julian leaned casually against a table.
"Well, fans respond to authenticity."
Aria nodded.
"They like sincerity."
Mason froze.
Then screamed:
"STOP TALKING LIKE A COUPLE!"
Julian blinked.
"A couple?"
Daniel shrieked,
"DON'T REPEAT THE WORD!"
Aria tilted her head thoughtfully.
"We do stand near each other often."
Julian smiled warmly at her.
"That's true."
Mason threw a chair.
Crew Reaction: Unhelpful as Always
Makeup artist:
"They'd be adorable."
Lighting tech:
"I see the vision."
Boom operator:
"We need more soft lighting for them."
Stunt team:
"Just let them kiss—solve everything."
Mason screamed at the stunt team:
"THIS IS AN ACTION FILM!!"
The pyrotechnics guy casually held up fireworks.
"I can set off hearts in the background."
Mason dropped to his knees.
"Someone end my suffering."
Julian Adds Fuel to the Fire
Julian looked at Mason, voice warm and uncannily gentle.
"If it makes the film better, we can lean into the chemistry."
Daniel screamed.
The makeup artist screamed.
The lighting team screamed.
Mason collapsed.
"No… no… stop… don't talk about chemistry… It's NOT chemistry… It's a curse…"
Aria blinked.
"We are cursed?"
Julian chuckled.
"Only him."
Mason began praying to whichever gods govern directors.
The Final Straw
The assistant returned, pale and terrified.
"U-Um… Director… The executives also want a new poster concept…"
Mason groaned.
"…Let me guess. A solo action shot?"
The assistant shook his head violently.
"No… They want… a couple poster."
Mason stared at him.
Julian raised an eyebrow.
Aria blinked.
Daniel fainted.
The assistant whispered:
"They said… and I quote…
'If the fans want a ship, give them a yacht.'"
Mason let out a single, broken whisper:
"…I regret… everything."
Aria's Final Line
Aria looked at Mason with genuine concern.
"Director Mason… should we help your hair?"
Mason screamed:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"