Noah, still reeling from the cosmic revelation of the Last Trial, stared at the massive golden button. The weight of the 1,000-year deadline—and the 10,000-God quota—settled on him, but it was immediately replaced by the adrenaline of the gacha roll. This wasn't just about him getting cool powers anymore; it was about what he could contribute.
"Okay, okay," Noah said, remembering the lottery. Before he could mentally tap the button, he paused. "So, just wanna ask, what am I looking at here? I mean, what does it tell me? Which one is Legendary, which one is Common?"
Mina leaned against the wall, looking like a seasoned gamer explaining the rules to a newbie. "Mehh, it's not that different from those RPGs George plays, really. The color and design on the back of the card tell you the rarity before you flip it."
She started ticking them off on her fingers. "White is Common—your basic 'Sword-Swinger' or 'Spark-Maker.' Green is Uncommon. Blue is Rare. Epic is Purple, which is where you start seeing real power. Red is Unique—that's my class, usually a highly specialized and powerful variant. Yellow-Gold is Legendary—that's 'nation-builder' level, like Dad's. And light blue with a golden, floral border is Mythic... and that's basically a walking natural disaster."
She paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "There's also a new one. A guy from Japan rolled it a few months ago. The System called it a Cosmic rank. It wasn't a color, but... the design was literally the cosmos. You know, like a galaxy spinning on the card. He's apparently a one-man army. The System itself seems to bend around him."
Noah nodded. "Got it. White is trash, cosmos is god-tier."
"Exactly. Now roll."
Noah took a deep breath and mentally tapped the golden button. The swirling constellation of icons rushed forward, and a single card materialized in the center of his vision, its back facing him. It began to switch colors and designs—flashing white, green, blue, purple, gold—as the icons relating to thousands of classes blurred past.
"So, did you press it already?" Mina asked, her voice eager.
"Yeah..." Noah said, his eyes glued to the flashing card. "Though, I honestly don't mind if it's just a Common rank. I'm down for any class it gives me. I was literally just a shish-kebab for a giant ant-scorpion. I'm already Awakened. After... you know... that... I can't ask for more."
Mina scoffed, but a small, proud smile touched her lips. "Hmm. If most Players were like you—contented and satisfied—we'd probably be in a better place. Like Ares said in that interview, 'Class ranks don't matter, mastery does.'"
"Yeah," Noah agreed. "For a family educated by Mom and Dad to be 'contented with life,' most of us pulled at least Epic, which is Mom's. You even pulled a Unique one. And Dad and George's is Legendary. Their class is nearly similar to smithing, but they're still powerful."
Mina's pride was obvious. "Yeah, well... controlling fire from hell doesn't really feel good, though." She summoned a small, flickering crimson flame above her palm. It looked unstable, and smelled faintly of sulfur. "A [Unique] Hell Pyromancer has to suffer through hellish mastery just to control this thing. It actively resists me. Every time I summon it, I have to fight its desire to just... melt everything. I have to tone it down 99% of the time just so everything—and everyone—doesn't melt or turn to ash instantly."
Noah instinctively recoiled. "Damn. Even if it's that small, I can feel the heat in my face from here."
Mina extinguished the flame and scoffed. "Hmm. Takes a lot of mana and focus to use. Anyway, stop stalling. Tell me, what did you pull?"
"Oh, right," Noah said. He looked back at the card, which had finally stopped spinning.
His eyes narrowed. His smile faded. He stared, confused.
The card wasn't white, green, blue, purple, red, gold, or even the shimmering cosmos design.
It was just... black. A flat, matte black card. Utterly featureless, except for the center, which held a simple, bright white outline of a broom and a dustpan, crossed like a pirate's sigil.
He ran through Mina's list again. White, Green, Blue, Purple, Red, Gold, Mythic Blue, Cosmic... Black was not on the list.
Mina, watching his deadpan, shock-like face, misinterpreted his silence. "What? What is it? Did you pull a Legendary? Your face looks like you pulled a Legendary. Or maybe even better?" Her voice became eager, laced with pride.
"Uhhh..." Noah said, his voice flat. "What does black signify?"
"What do you mean?" Mina asked, her own excitement faltering.
"Well, there's just... black. No design or whatsoever. Just a white icon of the class, which is... making me nervous." The broom icon felt like it was haunting him, a personal insult from the System.
Mina thought for a moment. "Hmm... I've never heard of a black card. Maybe it's a hidden class? Well, did you flip it? Flip it so we can see what it is."
"I don't even wanna flip it now," Noah whispered, his heart sinking.
"What do you mean?"
"No..." he slowly shook his head, the reality crashing down on him. "No, no, this is not what I think it is, right? The System wouldn't be that cruel."
"What do you mean?" Mina urged, getting frustrated.
Noah turned to her, his face a mask of pure, tragic sadness. "Can you guess... and tell me... which class signifies a broom and a dustpan?"
Mina's face went blank. She answered with brutal, clinical honesty. "...Janitor?"
Noah collapsed back onto the hospital bed, his hands covering his face. A low, strangled groan of pure, existential defeat escaped him. "Ohh... noooo... Why? Why a janitor?"
Mina stared at her brother, who was now in the fetal position, processing his cosmic despair. A second passed. Then she giggled.
"Is this funny to you?!" Noah shouted, his voice muffled by the pillow.
Mina chuckled, trying and failing to hold it in. "Hey! You said you'd take anything! That's what you said! 'Class ranks don't matter, mastery does!'"
"Yes, I'd take anything!" Noah shot back, sitting up. "But I wanna do cool shit, too! Like fighting monsters, or crafting swords, or brewing potions, or healing other Players! Not... this! Not cleaning up after them again!"
"Well," Mina said, still chuckling, "you haven't flipped it yet. Just flip it. Maybe it's something cool, like the [Legendary] Divine Purifier or something. Maybe 'Janitor' is just the icon!"
Noah, holding onto one last, desperate sliver of hope, stood up and mentally flipped the card.
His eyes widened. The text on the card itself seemed alive, pulsing with a faint, dark energy.
──────────────────────────────
🪣 [CLASS IDENTIFICATION CARD]
──────────────────────────────
Class Name: Janitor
Class Rank & Rarity: Primordial
Designation: Utility / Support / Unknown
Class Holder: Noah Chambers (Human)
──────────────────────────────
"Even the gods need someone to clean up their mess." ──────────────────────────────
Noah stared at the card. He stared at the Rank. His despair vanished, replaced by a sudden, manic explosion of triumphant laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Mina, startled by the sudden shift, shook him. "Come on! Don't leave me hanging! Tell me what you got!"
Noah laughed even more, a wild, unhinged sound. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... I got PRIMORDIAL, bitch!! I think I just broke the power scale! He didn't just break the scale, he shattered it. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Mina's eyes widened in total shock. "What?! Pri-Primordial?! That's... that's above Mythic! That's higher than Cosmic!"
Then, Noah's gaze drifted one line up from the rarity to the Class Name.
Class Name: Janitor
His laughter cut off instantly, as if a switch had been flipped. The silence in the room was deafening. His face paled. The color drained from his cheeks for the second time that day as the cosmic joke finally, brutally, landed. He slowly, agonizingly, sat back down on the floor, his entire body going limp with despair.
"What?"
Mina, completely baffled by the emotional whiplash, stared at him. "What? What does it say? What's wrong with Primordial?!"
Noah, almost in tears from the sheer sadness and absurdity of it all, whispered, "It's exactly... exactly... like what you said earlier."
Mina's brain processed the two facts: Primordial and Janitor. The combination was so ridiculous, so utterly Noah, that she giggled. A subtle, sharp sound. She held it in, her cheeks puffing out, her whole body shaking with suppressed laughter.
"Wait a moment, brother," she said, her voice shaking. "I... I gotta go take a piss."
Noah, still in shock, didn't even care. Mina rushed out of the hospital room, made it halfway down the hallway, and then exploded in hysterical, shrieking laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Noah could hear her sarcastic, booming laugh echoing down the hall. At least she had the decency not to laugh directly in his face.
He was alone again, staring at the ceiling, his new reality solidified. His entire life, his death, his resurrection... had all led to this. A cosmic punchline.
There was just one thing on his mind.
He shouted, his voice filled with existential anguish:
"WHY THE HELL IS THE JANITOR CLASS PRIMORDIAL RANK?!!"