Lately, I had been thinking it wasn't so bad to be the background character. As the days went by, I realized some people were simply meant for the spotlight. They were the Vivis and Lenas of the world.
They didn't have to try as hard as I did, and somehow, they were still loved, still adored. I wasn't even good enough to be the side character who reflected their light. No, I was just part of the backdrop, someone to fill the scene so their stories looked complete.
It had been a week since I went to the hospital. Somehow, I managed to do all the chores I was supposed to. I kept quiet. I didn't say a single word, and no one said a word to me. I didn't get yelled at as much. I didn't upset anyone as much.
A thought came to me. Maybe Adrian would like me better if I stayed silent. The world kept moving whether I spoke or not. It always moved on without me.
Somehow, they were all living their lives. They laughed, they chatted, they played out their favorite scenes while I stood in the background, just watching.
Today was a normal Sunday dinner. I had spent all day cooking everything Mother wanted served. She was always particular about things like that.
Lena made jokes about work that made everyone laugh. It was a running joke here, because she worked at my parents' company, the one Adrian ran, and even though she was in a different department, he was technically her boss.
Vivi talked about school. Mother gossiped about women she didn't like in her women's society meetings. Father barely said anything, but his eyes looked alive. Adrian looked perfectly at ease among them, relaxed and smiling. I knew that if his eyes met mine, that glint would vanish. So I didn't look up. I kept my eyes low. I wanted him to be happy, even if it meant pretending I wasn't there.
It was still a party downstairs when I went to bed. I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling, listening to their faint sound of laughter that echoed faintly through the floor. I tried to fall asleep, but the sound kept me awake.
Then the door creaked open.
Lena's face appeared in the crack, the light from the hallway spilling across the room. "Are you asleep?" she whisper-yelled. I could smell the wine on her breath. She was tipsy, her voice soft and slurred but warm.
She stepped inside, closing the door halfway behind her. "Are you okay, my Star? I've been worried about you."
Something in my chest eased, because no matter what, I believed I could trust her. "I'm fine," I said quietly. "Just tired lately."
She sat on the edge of the bed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just so you know, Adrian told me he's giving you space because you're pregnant. He doesn't want to stress you or do anything to harm the baby."
Her words sank slowly into the silence between us.
"He said you have a weak constitution," she added, almost kindly, as if she were doing me a favor.
I sat up immediately. "He said that? Really?"
"Yes, I guess he was going through something at work," I said. "He's been really stressed lately."
"Really? I just wish he'd talk to me, though."
"Oh, come on, Star, you know how men can be." Lena waved her hand as if brushing the thought away.
"I guess." I muttered, pulling the blanket tighter around me. "I just wonder how I can help him—let him know that I understand what he's going through."
"You know," she began, then paused. "No, I'm not sure."
"What?" I asked, a little impatient now.
"It's just that they're hosting a summer gala at the office on Saturday. I heard everyone in the family's coming."
"Oh." I tried to sound casual, to hide the sting that no one had told me.
"Star, don't pull that face," she said, smiling softly. "You know they probably didn't tell you because you're pregnant. They just don't want to bother you. Everyone's so sensitive about your health."
I forced a small nod, but inside, something twisted. I wasn't sure I believed her.
"You know what," Lena continued, "if you want to support him and the company, why don't you come to the gala? We'll keep it a surprise. I'm sure he'll be excited to see you."
"I don't know, Lena. I don't have anything to wear, and I don't want to embarrass him."
"Come on, Star, you're so pretty. You've got the prettiest eyes."
"Yeah, maybe when I was eighteen and not overweight. My thighs are huge, my stomach's huge, my face looks like a basketball, and my back is so broad. And I keep breaking out."
"Nonsense. You're glowing," she said softly.
For the first time, I didn't believe her.
"Come over to my place," she said, her voice brightening. "I'll bring out some dresses, we'll do our makeup together, and we'll go to the gala together. I'll make sure you look gorgeous. I promise."
"Really?" I asked, smiling before I could stop myself.
"Really. And don't tell Adrian. If it's a surprise, he'll love you even more."
"Any love he gives me would be enough," I said softly. "I feel like it might heal everything in me, and maybe I'd become whole again, Lena."
I stared up at the dark ceiling. Maybe it would make his side of the bed warm again, so I wouldn't have to sleep alone in this big bed anymore.
The thought stirred something giddy inside me, small and fragile but bright. All Adrian had to do was smile at me, and I would have been content with just that.
"Don't you think it's amazing to be loved, Lena?"
I couldn't see her face in the dark as she replied, but even now, I still remember the sound of her voice. "It's the best thing in the world."