Luna laughed for several minutes before stopping, but Cohen didn't find his own jokes funny at all—perhaps they were funny at the time, but after the person sitting opposite him had been laughing for a few minutes, even the funniest joke would lose its appeal.
Cohen started reading, this time Lockhart's Wandering with Werewolves.
Since he'd already paid for it, if he wasn't going to read it, Cohen might as well just use magic to change the covers of other books to this.
Actually, from an adventure story perspective, Lockhart's autobiography was quite a time-killer; he really knew how to make the plot dramatic and suspenseful—Lockhart should be writing web novels in 21st-century China, not being a dangerous Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts.
Just as Cohen was reading about a small village in Armenia being attacked for the seventh time by a elusive werewolf, he decided to stretch his stiff neck—
and noticed that Luna, sitting opposite him, was also reading something.
It was a newspaper, The Quibbler, a wizarding tabloid edited and published by Luna's father, filled with bizarre and unusual articles.
A particularly eye-catching headline on the back of the magazine caught Cohen's attention, even more so than the "impossible magic" about lifting the werewolf curse in Wandering with Werewolves.
"Are Dementors Really Evil Creatures? The True Goodness and Beauty Beneath the Cloak…"
What?! Who has such good taste? To actually understand the unity and friendship of Dementors…
"This newspaper is quite interesting—can I take a look?" Cohen asked Luna curiously—although he knew very well that the newspaper was mostly filled with counterintuitive and sensationalist gimmicks, Cohen had a reason to read it because of the matter of racial reputation.
"Great!" Luna was pleased that her father's newspaper was popular; Cohen seemed quite interested.
Taking the newspaper, Cohen followed the page number on the cover to the article about Dementors.
[Dementors—Are They Really "Unforgivable"?]
[These chilling killer monsters might very well be benevolent and loving magical creatures!]
Cohen was a little uneasy—it would be normal if he had written the article, but the author's name was "Xenophilius Lovegood."
[For centuries, Dementors, as the jailers of Azkaban, have often been known as "heartless killers" (they have no eyes) and "soul eaters."]
[But is that really the case?]
[Recently, surprising new evidence has emerged suggesting that Dementors may not be as ruthless and terrifying as people imagine. According to Ned O'Connor, a lonely elderly man living in the Isles of Scilly, Cornwall, he encountered a Dementor in 1987 that did not harm him—and for the next three months, it brought him galleons and small toys every month.] "
People have too many misconceptions about Dementors. I think the Ministry of Magic doesn't want us to have too much affection for jailers," Mr. O'Connor said. "That little Dementor didn't hurt me at all. It was building sandcastles on the beach like a child—I initially thought it was just a homeless child. After I realized it was a Dementor, I even brought two bottles of Happiness Potions to prevent it from stealing my happiness. But it didn't seem to care about my happiness at all. It glanced at me, then at the sandcastle, and ran away quickly. Every month since, I've found several new Galleons or some children's toys in that spot. I've written to the Minister for Magic, hoping he'll take the needs of the Dementor community seriously and stop letting those lonely little Dementors wander around." This is
weird, so damn weird.
Even Dementors haven't seen anything like this. No wonder The Quibbler is considered "useless garbage" by normal people.
"I really liked this report too," Luna said. "Every species has a friendly side—they have friends and family, but unfortunately we can't see them in our daily lives…"
"Dementors do have a friendly side…" Cohen said.
This made Luna very happy.
"However, I don't recommend approaching Dementors rashly; they are just as dangerous," Cohen continued. "Not every Dementor is as harmless as the one in this report. You need to learn some communication methods, just like you can't safely enter a mermaid's territory without understanding their language."
Afterward, Luna enthusiastically discussed the habits of Dementors and their language with Cohen—
she had really come to the right person.
"You're practically a living Dementor!"
Luna said cheerfully.
She clearly didn't realize that her words would be interpreted differently by others.
"Ha, thank you for the compliment, but don't do it again," Cohen said somewhat awkwardly. The
more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that the "Dementor" seen by Ned O'Connor, the interviewee in this report, was the little Dementor Mick he kept in his camel-skin pocket.
Had Mr. Lovegood actually gotten a real story?
Halfway there, the Earl woke up and complained for ten minutes about Cohen's summer homework—while Luna didn't seem too surprised that the owl could talk.
"Animals can all talk, maybe your owl is smarter and has learned human language," Luna said softly. "I wish I had one too, so I'd have a friend at home."
"I like this sweet-talking little girl," the Earl said defiantly. "Could you say a few more compliments? Let me have some more fun?"
But Luna didn't continue—this silence made the Earl extremely uncomfortable.
After a few minutes of silence, it too tired to pretend to be a fairytale owl in front of Luna, so it revealed its true colors and went to Cohen for a drink.
"Are you a second-year student?" Luna only asked Cohen's year now, as the train was almost at its destination. "What's the Sorting Ceremony like at Hogwarts? Dad said we'd have a dream, and whatever animal appears in the dream would determine which house we'd be sorted into—I like rabbits, but Hogwarts doesn't have a house with a rabbit totem..." (A mysterious tradition at Hogwarts: parents rarely tell their children what the Sorting Ceremony is like.)
"And there aren't any houses with owl totems either," the Earl hiccuped. "I bet you'll be sorted into Ravenclaw; eagles love catching rabbits."
"Exceptional intelligence is humanity's greatest treasure," Luna sang in a song-like tone. "My mom and dad are both in that house, thank you for your blessing, Mr. Magical Owl."
"Damn it, learn from him!"
the Earl reeked of alcohol, turning to Cohen and scolding him.
But Cohen sobered up with just a look.
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(End of Chapter)