"Ha—I'm just…preparing to find a new partner…"
The Count tried guiltily to cover up his risky drinking and fear of sterilization.
"How do you write letters—wait…" Cohen was about to ask the Count why he chose to buy mail.
But the word "write" suddenly reminded Cohen of something terrifying.
"*! I forgot to do my summer homework!"
Cohen exclaimed.
He blamed Voldemort, the Malfoys, the Black Cloaks of Azkaban, Norbert, Ariel, and…
"And you! Earl! You didn't even remind me!" Cohen clung to him like a drowning man grasping at a straw. "Didn't I tell you to look at my textbooks more at the end of last semester? Now it's your turn to repay me. Hurry up and help me finish my homework—you can even write letters now anyway."
"You want a bird to do your homework?!"
the Earl replied with extreme resistance.
"Impossible! Going to work and school are for you featherless creatures. Don't even think about bringing that filthy stuff into the animal kingdom!"
"Just one night of effort," Cohen threatened, "and then you can get your Egg-Laying Potion back."
"I'll buy another one," the Earl added, "and you have to allow me to drink alcohol for a week."
"So you really are addicted after all!" Cohen said, deliberately feigning anger.
"Otherwise, I'd rather die than do your homework for you," the Earl declared defiantly. "I have far more backbone than that female dragon!"
"Since that's the case…" Cohen seemed to have made a significant concession, "If you help me finish my homework tonight… I might be able to let you off the hook for a week."
"I guarantee I'll finish it," the Earl promised immediately, as if afraid Cohen would change his mind.
The deal was struck, and Cohen revealed his ugly capitalist face—this was merely part of the plan.
Who really cared whether the Earl would actually damage his kidneys from the alcohol…it was just creating an opening for the Earl.
After all, if you really want the Earl to complete the task with quality and quantity, you have to give him something he really wants.
[Ding! Sin Value +10]
[Note: You're even exploiting birds, you're a bit inhumane.]
Humanity is something people need to consider, and Cohen felt that it was good enough that he showed some humanity now and then—
laxative, at Hogwarts, he was a capitalist Dementor.
"One night, one miracle, I believe you can do it, Earl,"
Cohen encouraged the Earl on his desk before going to sleep.
Under the lamp, an owl was using a wand to manipulate a quill pen, writing a paper—what a wonderful life this was, something out of a fairy tale! A magical owl could help with summer homework!
Cohen had a new idea: the Earl could expand his business at Hogwarts, like homework writing, to fill his boring, lazy life.
Cohen even had a slogan ready.
[Why not ask the magical owl?] —However
, even the most magical owl can't withstand a night of frantic writing.
On the morning of the first day of school, Cohen reluctantly struggled to get out of bed—because Edward was already urging him to hurry, and even Muggles would experience traffic jams on the first day of school.
"Holy crap!"
Cohen opened his eyes to find the Earl lying face up on the table,
practically dead. No way? Just catching up on homework, he couldn't be dead...
wait, there's still his soul—Cohen breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the Earl's soul still peacefully inside his body.
The "magical owl" homework-writing plan I just came up with last night couldn't be abandoned so soon.
Besides, I only made a deal with it; if I couldn't finish, I could just give up. There was no need to work myself to death...
But it seems that more than being exhausted, the Earl wanted those two "Egg-Laying Potion" and a week's worth of "drinking rights."
The Earl perfectly completed Cohen's homework for all subjects. Fourteen pages of parchment—the Earl really had a lot of knowledge—Cohen thought it wasn't a lie when it said it had lived for hundreds of years.
But after living for so many years, it couldn't even handle a female owl, which meant the Earl still needed to practice.
After finishing the homework, Cohen tossed the Earl into the birdcage.
Everything was normal until Cohen arrived at King's Cross Station at 10:45, crossed Platform 9¾, boarded the train, and chose an empty carriage at the end. Only then did Cohen realize he had forgotten something.
He didn't encounter the Weasleys or Harry—almost forgot, if Dobby thought Cohen and Lucius were plotting to resurrect Voldemort, it would have stopped Harry from returning to Hogwarts, just like in the original story.
But going back now was definitely too late; the train was about to depart, and even if Cohen got off, he wouldn't be able to get through the wall sealed by the elf's magic.
Damn it, no more flying cars!
Cohen also wanted to figure out if Mr. Weasley's car had a soul—the original story mentioned that the car had lived in the Forbidden Forest for a long time and had become "wild."
Inanimate objects can't become "wild."
The train rumbled off, and Cohen looked out the window—soon a blue, old car would appear in the clouds and be on the front page of the Daily Prophet.
Just as Cohen was about to keep a close watch and try to gauge the car's soul strength, the compartment door opened.
Cohen assumed it was Hermione, since Harry and Ron weren't there, and Hermione would definitely want to ask someone what was going on.
But it was another girl who opened the door.
She had silver eyes, dark golden-brown hair, and pale skin, and her expression looked surprised—but she always seemed to look that way.
"Hello—may I sit here?" Her voice was ethereal, as if drifting from a distant place.
"Sit down, there's no one here," Cohen said casually, turning back to look out the window. "Cohen, Cohen Norton."
"My name is Luna, Luna Lovegood," she said. "Are you waiting for your friends? Are they in the clouds?"
"More or less." Cohen saw the car.
There were six soul strength tags on the car—excluding Hedwig's fixed seven points and Voldemort's 40-point fragment, Cohen couldn't distinguish which matched Harry, Ron, Peter Pettigrew, and the car.
Because a young wizard's soul strength grows, and Cohen hadn't seen Harry and Ron for a month.
But this at least proved that the car had a soul strength of at least ten points; he'd have to find a way to ask Mr. Weasley what he'd done to the car.
If souls could be created using magic, Cohen would need to accelerate his development—Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration spell created a rather perfunctory soul that couldn't improve Cohen's current state.
"A car flying in the sky," Luna said in a ethereal voice, looking in the direction Cohen was looking. "Dad's right, Hogwarts has many fun places."
"Their invisibility device is broken," Cohen said. "This way, a bunch of Muggles will see us, and flying from London to Hogwarts is too long for a car. We'll see that car doing a 'cute star crash' when we get to the school."
"Hahahaha!"
Luna laughed—she laughed so hard she had to press her chest, breathing heavily.
"That's so much fun! A car! Cute star crash!"
Is this how the crazy girl always is?
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(End of Chapter)