POV Jess
I'm walking to my car as the golden sun is rising. Today's shift was neither bad nor good. I got verbally attacked by the man withdrawing from fentanyl. He called me a "stupid fucking cunt that only got to where I am by sucking dick." I take none of it to heart. I find that our psyche is jeopardized in desperate moments when our bodies not only crave but require a certain something. I stood in the way of his requirement and in turn, I was selfish and evil in his eyes.
Ellanor refuses to speak to anyone, including her husband. The biopsy results should be in any day now and although I genuinely hope and pray for positive results the nurse in me guesses otherwise.
As I drive on Interstate 5 and towards home I think of Cole, as I have every single time since the accident. Heaviness pounds down on me as I come closer to the scene of the accident and whenever I get through that part of the road guilt and sadness linger within me until I get home.
Charlotte must've had a busy night because she usually texts me at least once during our shifts and tonight, nothing. I texted her around two AM to see if anything new happened with Cole, if he's woken up, or just some sort of update but it never came.
When I get home I drag myself up the stairs to my apartment using the last bit of energy I have left to do so. Rather than going straight to bed I dive onto my couch instead and scroll through Facebook. Nicole posted pictures of her and Dylan at some fancy dinner for Mayor Weston. No surprise mom and dad were also in attendance, god forgive me but I'm the dick sucker? I love my parents but Jesus they're such surface-level sheep sometimes. I know I shouldn't do this but curiosity is getting the best of me, I type Cole Carson into the search engine. It pops up, a verified account so it's his. I click on his page, the cover photo being a photo of a black and royal blue dirt bike with mountains in the background.
This page is generally for advertising events, he doesn't post anything about his personal life other than pictures with other racers. He's by far the most attractive one out of all the others he's photographed with. As of right now I'm sure he's probably a smidge unrecognizable, bruised, scarred, and swollen I'm sure of it.
At the top of my phone screen, I see Charlotte's name appear with a message. Closing out of Facebook I open the text message.
Char: rough night. I had to leave at one point and cry. Haven't done that in years
Me: Oh no what happened
A sinking feeling takes over me from head to toe. If this, what I'm assuming is about Cole then it's bad because Charlotte, although of course she has feelings and normal human emotions is generally pretty good at disassociating herself mentally and emotionally from patients, and for good reason.
Char: he's awake. Or well sort of…took him 3 hrs to open his eyes. He's in a lot of pain and cried himself to sleep. Hasn't had the ability to talk yet.
Me: shit I'm sorry char
Char: It's my job I signed up for it
Me: Yeah but still
Char: I need sleep. It'll be another long night tonight
I put on an episode of Love Is Blind before falling asleep on the couch, at some point which pisses me off because I missed the part where Jonah either picks Vivian or Brielle, I'm rooting for Vivian.
By six o'clock I'm ready to leave for work and hope to the highest heavens that the withdrawal boy has been discharged and moved to a rehab facility.
As I collect my things, my phone begins to buzz. I look down at the screen and ugh, mom.
"Hey ma, what's up I'm just heading out for work," I say placing my phone between my ear and shoulder.
"Honey, I'll make it quick, I just wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night, I'm making your favorite! Cordon bleu." Seriously? Were we not at the same disastrous dinner just the other night?
"Umm yeah I can't Mom, I work tomorrow night and cordon bleu is Nicole's favorite, not mine," I explain with an eye roll that she can't see.
"Okay, just thought I'd ask, how about next week then?" She asks cheerfully.
"I don't know ma we'll see, I really have to go now though I'll give you a call later." I can easily bring this conversation to the car but I don't want to.
After our goodbyes, we hang up and I drive to my twelve hours of pure hell that await me.