Years flew by like the wind since I had my meeting with The Pillars. I stood looking out of the expansive windows in my very opulent castle, my mind couldn't help but wander to the past, a past that was far behind me at this point.
My conviction to use my power and new found opportunity with this life, to 'take' anything I want and relish in every feeling and new experience I can, is still there under the surface, rooted in like a parasite, especially after the feelings I gained from doing it, they are dangerous I know, a temporary fix for a wider issue.
I never believed a thing that bastard used to rant about after he changed, after the day he lost everything, but now I am not so sure, one thing I will give him credit for though is a piece of advice that still echoes through my loud mind 'In this life, there is no fairness, there is no justice, there is no right and wrong, that stuff is for the ones that hold power to be able to enforce it, if they have a gun and I a knife, how is that fair? How is that just? How is that right and not wrong?! How Richard? How? How? How? HowHOWhOWhowhowhow?'
My mind began to spin as flashes of broken memory hit me all at once, dragging me back to darker days, I grabbed the wall with my shaky hand to steady myself, just then Kali appeared and seemed to be saying something, however, she just seemed to be mouthing and not talking at all. I quickly controlled my breathing and closed my eyes for a second, using a technique from my time back on earth, before my skill then kicked in. Even with Emotional Pain Nullification that was... something, well, I guess it couldn't fully nullify whatever that was.
"Master?!" She called out in a panic, I stood straight and turned away from her as I tried to compose myself. "It was nothing, must have overexerted myself in training recently, I am preparing for Rouge after all, I want to be free of him as soon as possible. Just a few short years and summoning's from the central world should start happening."
I turned back around as Kali seemed to be flashing her warm smile at me "Be more careful master! You are worrying too much, you are more than strong enough to deal with him!" She said as she crossed her arms.
She is really something. I then for some reason had the urge to pat her head, as I reached to do it I hesitated for a moment before carrying on with the action. Kali seemed to flinch slightly before she melted into my hand. I wondered why I felt so comforted doing this? Like all the previous darkness was dissipating? The feeling was not too bad, different to the euphoric-like feeling that usually makes up most of my new life. As I let go, Kali seemed disappointed before saying, in a gentle and slightly bashful tone "What was that for?" I looked at her and said nonchalantly "A reward for your many years of unwavering loyalty. I may have chosen Vert, or seemed like I put her first for reasons you may not have understood, but it was all for the achievement of my goals. She was the best for that specific job." She seemed to nod in understanding, although, there was a slight glint in her eyes that betrayed her inner thoughts.
"And were you not the one after the meeting back then, that asked if I would reward you with anything even my personal time?" She seemed to have a slight blush creep upon her pale cheeks as she stammered "Well.... yes... I suppose"
"Then this is your reward, something extra than what you asked for, like I said, for your longstanding loyalty... Yes, loyalty." I murmured at the end. As I turned awkwardly, before walking down the hallway, I stopped abruptly.
"Kali we have known each other for centuries at this point..." I hesitated, not knowing if this was the right way or right thing to do. "I have been thinking over these recent years, not just about the future, but about the path I am taking. Is it the right one? Am I just trying to run away from issues that I have not fixed? What I am trying to say is, what do you think of me? Not as your master, or some powerful being that you respect. But... just me as a person?" I felt my heart pound slightly, even when facing Primordials, I never felt this damn black hole of a heart beat, even when some poor woman got mutilated in front of me, I felt nothing and yet as time moves on in this new life, it seems to be beating more and more, and I keep trying to run away from it, I know I do. I am chasing the darkness in this life, so that I do not lose the comfort of its embrace. So why am I asking for answers from her? I know the answer...
Kali seemed taking aback, her eyes darted around unsure of whether she should be honest or not.
"Speak freely Kali, it is just us here and I want to know, I need to know what you think."
She nodded resignedly "You master are someone the daemons who only know you through hearsay, fear and respect in equal measure. To the ones like us Pillars who have had the pleasure of serving you closely, all serve willingly especially the other Primordials, because they and I respect your power. But more so, are intrigued by the grand visions you have relayed to us, they want to see how far you really can go. However, after saying all that we don't really know you in that way, as a person, except from what we can deduce ourselves, and I will speak for myself here, you live up to 'distant, aloof and emotionless' façade that the rumours dictate. Although you seem to have crafted this yourself in my opinion, consciously or subconsciously."
She paused to figure out her next words, as her ever gentle and warm voice floated into my ears.
"But, master, I need you to know you are not 'emotionless' I do not know why you created this image for yourself and have been trying to live by it. But what I will say now that you have asked, is that it is okay to feel, to love, hate and grieve. We are daemons, yes, but that does not mean we are some unfeeling machines." She took a breathe then said shyly "More of how you acted before wouldn't hurt form time to time." Before her body tensed. "Ah... I hope I didn't overstep master!" She screamed anxiously. This jolted me out of my thoughts, I simply shook my head "No, you didn't. I was the one who broached the subject. You have given me a lot to understand and uncover. However, that needs to wait, I have plenty of time to unearth the reason I am the way I am. For now, Rouge comes first. Tell me, what was so urgent you came to me directly?"
She seemed to break out of a reverie she had found herself in before replying "Oh... um, ah yes! The Pillars may have found a way to achieve what you mentioned to us before. That is not all, it also seems according to Blanc that the other two, both Jaune and Violet, want to have a meeting. We are guessing, well mostly Blanc is, that after seeing what happened to Blanc and Bleu who were one of the main factors in terms of why they felt confident to openly stand against you, has made them uneasy. Therefore, they are looking to form a truce of sorts."
I took in everything that Kali just said to me, a truce? Well, I had gained the Primordials, except for Noir, that I wanted to serve me, for their distinct advantages for my future plans in the central world. Having those two would not be a net negative, but I simply have more pressing things in my plans to deal with at the moment. I am on a tight schedule as is. In terms of a truce... that may work for now.
I stopped and turned to Kali "Set up the meeting, I will meet with them in due time. Firstly, however, I am going back to my training area, I need to be ready for what is to come."