I sank into my chair, eyes fixed on the flickering flame of the candle beside me. My room was a complete disaster, and the more I looked at it, the more I wanted to continue breaking things.
Broken shards of mirror and glass were scattered across the floor. Nearly all of the furniture was toppled over or crushed into pieces. But worst of all, none of it helped. Not even a little.
My wolf stirred restlessly again. Before, if I let out my anger and smashed a few things, it would be enough to calm him down for a period of time—but not anymore.
Both of my legs bounced restlessly as I gripped the edges of the chair. For the first time, the loss of control frightened me. The only thing keeping me from going completely feral was the final thread of willpower I still clung to.
'Why?! Why is my wolf so damn restless? Would finding a mate really change anything?'
My grip tightened, cracking the wooden edges of the armrests. Ever since the Elders overruled me on my decision to take a Luna, I have kept myself locked in this room.
"I don't need a fucking woman!" I hissed through gritted teeth. A mate was simply another thing for me to stress over. I could already hear the nonstop whining and nagging.
"What I need is to avenge my fallen pack!" My eyes stung. Not having slept for a few days had left them bloodshot and raw. "Those damn humans. Let them try and kill another one of my pack."
A soft knock at the door broke my focus.
"Alpha. I've returned."
Ronan's steady voice sounded from the other side of my door. Good thing it was him, because if it were anyone else, I might have snapped completely.
"Enter," I said, my tone cold and flat.
The door slowly creaked open. Ronan stepped inside, his gaze sweeping over the wreckage before settling on me.
My stomach churned. I knew what he was thinking, and I knew that I wasn't okay.
"...Alph-"
My hands twisted the wooden armrests.
Ronan took a step forward. His eyes were filled with concern. "Soren, something needs to be done," he said softly.
"Something is being done, isn't it? Those old geezers think a woman will solve all of my problems!" I spat angrily.
He frowned. "They're just looking out for you and the peace of the pack. Plus, the ancient records state that the only way to quell an exceptionally strong wolf is through a mate bond. You're the strongest Alpha we've had in centuries."
I snapped my head away, focusing back on the small flame. "I hate them. They're all the same and all annoying. I don't want to mark any of them."
"Think about the pack..."
"You think I don't? It's all I ever fucking think about!" I roared. I knew what he was trying to say, but his words only fueled the fire.
I dragged in a deep breath before changing the topic. "So how did it go? Were the humans angry that I wasn't there?"
I planned on attending the meeting, but in my current condition, it was impossible. I knew that the moment I saw them, I would've snapped and done something stupid.
"The meeting went fine," Ronan said. "They were the same as always. Full of smiles as they spewed their lies. The person chosen to come back with us is a woman."
"I don't care if it's a man, woman, or toad. Whoever they sent is clearly here to dig something up that could give them an edge over us. Keep an eye on her. I want to know what kind of information they're after."
"She asked when she would meet you."
The armrests finally gave way, snapping from all of the pressure I was applying. "Well, clearly not now. I'm certain if I saw her in my current state, I'd probably snap her head off."
Ronan nodded and stepped closer with concern written all over his face. I glanced upwards, meeting his eyes.
"Soren, your eyes are glowing... Do you want to go out and spar with me? It helped you last time."
"I nearly killed you, Ronan. I'm not going to risk my best friend to blow off some steam," I said, choking back the regret that clawed up my throat.
He shook his head. "Have more faith in me. Besides you, I'm the strongest one in the entire pack. If it helps, even a little, it's worth it."
The burn in my veins grew hotter by the second. I closed my eyes briefly before suddenly standing up. "Fine. Let's go. But this time, as deep into the forest as possible. I don't want to disturb the rest of the pack."
Ronan nodded and followed me out of the room. As soon as I entered the hallway, I picked up a foreign scent. My eyes narrowed slightly. 'It must be the human. '
A strange feeling rippled through me. I quickened my pace, afraid her presence might snap the last thread of control I had left. Honestly, this was the single worst time for this visit to happen.
If I weren't confident in the fact that only the ones closest to me knew about my condition, I would have suspected the humans were plotting something major.
I was hit with a cool breeze the moment I stepped outside. It helped wash away all of the lingering scents inside the lodge, giving me a momentary relief. However, the very next moment, another wave of rage pulsed through me.
"Fuck," I snarled, sprinting off into the forest. I felt Ronan's steady presence behind me, matching my pace but keeping his distance.
I ran like a madman, pushing every muscle, every ounce of my strength to run as far away from where the others were, but it wasn't enough.
The next heartbeat, I leaped into the air and shifted. Relief briefly flooded me as the wind tore through my fur. My shifted form allowed me to run hundreds of times faster, and before I had a chance to fully enjoy the run, I reached the edge of the forest.
Ronan burst through the brush seconds later, launching himself at me.
A mixture of adrenaline and excitement coursed through me as I jumped up, meeting him in the air.