"Ahhhh! A world with no trains and no planes deserves to be destroyed. Beerus, where the fuck are you when we need you? You left us one SHITTY planet!"
"I've been running on these two short legs! I'm sick of it!" Hidan held a roasted, oily bear paw in one hand and complained between big, greedy bites.
He'd been running through the endless forests of the Land of Fire for who-knows-how long.
People were scarce until he finally bumped into a few bandits. Decisively sacrificed them to blood, Hidan thought, and added five kill points to his counter.
He frowned when he checked the system. Ordinary people only gave one kill point apiece.
The rest... stronger abilities, kekkei genkai would need time and patience to find.
Twenty days since he'd left Hot Springs Village.
Even with an immortal body and bottomless stamina, the boredom was gnawing at him.
Food could patch the body, nothing patched the mind's endless monotony.
He just wanted a village to crash in, a bed to stretch his legs on, and a chance to check how far he still was from Konoha.
"Forest-sama, please let me out… I'll be grateful forever, so please?!" Hidan's face twisted in mock supplication.
Truth was, he'd gotten lost so many times the map might as well have been a joke.
Inside his head, though, he hammered his fists with anger. When he got strong enough, he swore, he'd flatten this whole forest the same day. Mark my words, Forest-chan... you ain't ready.
Just when his patience snapped, a different sort of light cut through the green. Not the speckled sunlight through leaves, but a glow from the open land beyond the trees.
"Finally out of this damn deep forest! I'm fed up with the dark, the damp, and the endless insect chirping!" Hidan spat, relief and irritation tangled in his voice. For once his mood was light.
A village lay in the basin below, simple houses clustered together, people moving about, laughter and shouts faint but clear.
Civilization.
Warmth.
Food.
Beds.
Kill opportunities, if he skimmed the outskirts.
He licked grease from his fingers, shouldered the Bloody March Scythe, and started down the slope toward the lights.
--
"It turned out to be a gambling town! No wonder it's so damn noisy…"
Hidan walked down the street, Bloody March Scythe resting lazily on his shoulder. Neon-bright signs and paper lanterns flashed the same word everywhere: Gambling.
He raised an eyebrow.
"A whole village built on casinos? What do they do, rotate each other's houses? 'Your place today, my place tomorrow'? Tch, boring as hell."
The basin village was too small to make sense, with no shinobi village nearby. Yet here it was—buzzing like a broken hive.
As he muttered to himself, a commotion erupted up ahead.
Shouts.
Footsteps.
A woman with pale-blonde, cropped hair sprinted down the street, a girl with short black hair struggling to keep up beside her.
Behind them, a mob of rough men wielding clubs gave chase, yelling:
"Stop! Don't run!"
"Pay back what you owe!"
Hidan blinked. Then his grin spread wide.
"…No way. Tsunade?"
He felt giddy, almost bouncing on his heels.
"My luck's actually insane!"
"Outta the way, brat!" the leader of the mob roared as they closed in.
Hidan's expression instantly collapsed.
Brat.
The most cursed word.
His teeth clenched, veins popping on his forehead.
"…The hell did you just call me?!"
Why the fuck did he have to reincarnate as young Hidan of all people?
Swish!
He moved.
The Bloody March Scythe spun, a blur of red and silver.
In seconds, the cobbled street was littered with groaning men. Hidan hadn't even broken a sweat.
For ordinary thugs, they were nothing. Just practice swings.
"Spare us, great lord... no, little lord... no, big lord!"
The survivors knelt, faces swollen, eyes blackened. All of them were unrecognizable, their groans echoing through the street.
They cursed silently in their hearts. What kind of demon child was this? A silver-haired devil with one weapon had knocked every last one of them flat… and worse, he'd gone out of his way to hit their faces.
Not a single one of them could show themselves in public for weeks.
"Tch… so boring."
Hidan shrugged, dragging his scythe back onto his shoulder. For a bunch of debt collectors, he didn't even feel the urge to kill.
And besides... Tsunade was standing not far away, watching. No point in making things messier than they had to be.
He already had a simple plan in mind. If it worked, slipping into Konoha would be way easier.
"Hey! Little brat over there!"
The sharp voice rang out, and Hidan's head tilted.
Tsunade, arms crossed, short blonde hair brushing her cheeks, glared at him with annoyance.
"Who told you to beat them all down?"
"Huh?" Hidan blinked, jabbing a finger at himself.
"I did you a favor, onee-chan! They were chasing you, weren't they?"
He put on his best "innocent little boy" face, though the bloody scythe in his hand ruined the effect.
"Who asked for your help?" Tsunade shot back without missing a beat.
"I owed them money. They chased me. That's only natural. And it was exciting too!" Her face was deadly serious, like she was scolding him for spilling sake at a party.
"You barged in and ruined the whole thrill of it. And then you dare to call that a favor?"
Hidan: "…"
His jaw dropped.
Oi, oi, oi… seriously?
He already knew Tsunade's gambling habits. But to actually see it, up close, in action... this was worse than he imagined.
"…You've got a real problem, you know that?" he muttered under his breath, veins throbbing on his forehead.
No wonder they call her the "Legendary Sucker" in the gambling world…
Hidan clenched his teeth, forcing himself to calm down.
She's turned losing money into a lifestyle. Hell, being chased for debts is practically her hobby. If I didn't know better, I'd think she enjoyed it.
For a moment, his thoughts turned wicked.
Damn shame I can't just pick a fight with her… otherwise, I'd find a better use for that 'Legendary Sucker' title of hers.
His eye twitched. Seriously, did all her gambling luck get rerouted to her chest size or something?
"Oi, little brat! Why aren't you talking?"
Tsunade folded her arms under her chest, the movement enough to send a dangerous wave rolling that made nearby gamblers' eyes pop out like they were watching fireworks.
"Don't tell me you're sulking 'cause you think you're at a loss?"
Her grin was sharp, taunting, every bit the gambler's bravado.
Shizune, standing just behind her, flushed crimson.
"Tsunade-sama! H-how can you treat children like this?!"
She stomped her foot, hands clutching the pig in her arms as she puffed her cheeks out in exasperation.
To her, Tsunade flaunting like that, toward a silver-haired boy who barely looked older than ten was beyond embarrassing.
And yet…
For all her bravado, Tsunade froze for just a moment at Shizune's scolding.
Because deep down, even the mighty Tsunade Senju, the future Hokage knew this quiet girl was the only one bold enough to complain directly to her face.
And worse… she usually wasn't wrong.
Hidan, meanwhile, just stared at the bizarre duo in front of him, expression dark.
"…This woman is playing with me," he muttered.
"Shizune—" Tsunade dragged out the word, then leaned close and murmured into her ear.
"Don't underestimate this little brat. The chakra fluctuations on his body are at Jōnin level. I want to test whether he has bad intentions."
Shizune's eyes went wide. Her face read Are you serious? Are you sure you're not joking?
Tsunade's mouth twitched; if this were anime, three little black anger lines would've sprouted on her forehead.
"I'm serious, Shizune." Tsunade's voice lost its teasing edge and turned flat. Deadly serious.
Shizune saw it and shut up. She straightened, suspicion sharpening into discipline.
A Jōnin-level presence suddenly appearing in a small gambling town under Tsunade's nose was at the very least... strange.
Tsunade nodded to herself, satisfied with the little show of obedience.
"Little brat," she said, turning back to Hidan with a dangerously calm smile.
"Since you ruined my fun, you'll do me a favor help me repay what I owe them. That'll offset your sins."
For a heartbeat the whole street went quiet. Lanterns swayed. The gamblers froze mid-gesture. Even the drunk debt collectors blinked dumbly, processing the order.
Shizune's lips twitched. "That's… what you mean by 'serious'? You aren't picking on someone to be your scapegoat, are you, Tsunade-sama?" she hissed, half-shamed, half-worried.
Hidan's eyes narrowed behind his expressionless mask. He had not expected this.
He hadn't touched Tsunade at all... yet here she was, pointing him out like a dog.
When did I even mess with her?
Why the hell is she targeting me?
Hidan forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
Tsunade didn't realize it yet, but she had crossed someone who would soon strip away the one thing she held most dear
...and the cruelest part was that she'd be powerless to stop it.
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