What on earth was I thinking? Catching a man who's literally burning from the inside out and still thinks I could hold him without blistering?
I lift my gaze to the hellhound kneeling before me-if I can call him that, because there's obviously no other explanation to why he's steaming with such intensity.
I want to catch you every time you collapse, Abel. Every instinct demands it-but each time I try, my hands suffer. I suffer.
"What kind of cursed magic is this?" I whisper, wincing. It's been over twenty minutes, so why won't these burns heal?!
I look up. "Abel," my voice trembles, torn between less pity and more of pain. "there's no way I can drag the venom out if you keep... cooking yourself."
He swallows, his gaze dragging across the ground,
blinking only enough to prove he's still here.
"Abel... please. I hate-hate-how useless I am to you if you won't turn down the heat-"
He lurches forward again. And again, my arms are there before my mind can object-Again, my regret trails just a heartbeat behind it.
And yet... I don't pull away, perhaps my palms are fused to him now, welded there by the blistering heat. Or perhaps the burn has gone so deep I can no longer feel the sting.
Or maybe...
Snap out of it Jessica!
If I waste another second in this powerless grip, he might just die in front of me!
"Abel..."
I catch his eyes, his... pleading and anchoring eyes...Can I compel him?
But if I can't breach the walls of his mind, how do I twist his thoughts into obedience?
"Turn it down...The heat-turn it down!"
It's not working!
"Abel, please! How many times do I have to beg you today? If you want to bleed your anger out on me for turning my back on you-do it like a man! You want me to punish you? You want my hate? Fine... But you have to be alive first! You hear me!"
He mumbles something, something too soft to catch from two feet away.
"What?"
I bend closer, pressing my ear to the tremor in his breath.
"It's..." His throat moves once before the words break free. "It's not me..."
I recoil, searching his face. "Not you? What-what do you mean?"
I lean back in, desperate to catch the next fragment.
"It's my punishment..."
"What punishment, Abel? Are you-are you doing this to yourself?!"
Tears drop from his eyes as he shakes his head, but they don't even linger-they just boil away as if they can't bear his skin.
"The venom," he gasps. "The more it spreads... the longer the punishment."
I glance down at the black veins sprawling across his body. He's sweating hard, yet the mark stays, expanding, claiming more territory as if it's found its root.
"So, if I take it out... You'll stop heating up?"
He nods, barely.
"But-how? i can't even touch you-"
He sags forward, and instinct wins; I catch him-and scream.
This time it's not just the scorch of contact. This time, I see it; the source. The source of his agony.
There's a building, swallowed by blue flames. Smokeless flames. And Abel-he's inside, right in the middle of it. He's not running, not screaming-he's just taking the heat into himself.
Willingly?
I frown, because this doesn't look like what my venom is capable of.
"This isn't me," I murmur. "I would never-ever do this to you."
My gaze drops to my hands.
This magic is old but different. I don't think Abel is a hellhound at all, I think he's something else entirely. Something alive, undead.
That's why my hands won't heal. Whatever it is... I cannot wield it. I dare not.
"Jessica..."
"Abel?" My head snaps up. "Tell me-what do I do? What do you need?"
He swallows. "Luther."
"Luther?"
Is Luther in this with him too?
"He's at school, Abel. Tell me-what do I do when I find him?"
"Use your ears, Jessica." His breath rasps.
I frown, but shut my eyes anyway, straining for something-anything. "I don't understand, what am I listening for-"
"Pea pea!"
A knock slams into a door. My door.
"Are you in there?!" Another knock.
My eyes fly open. "Luther?"
Abel's lips barely move. "Go... It's important."
I turn, "I'll be right back."
I blink to my apartment, my fingers humming with sparks as glamour spills over my burnt hands before curling around the knob.
"Luther!" I call him back and he turns at once, relief cracking his face as he strides toward me.
"Peanut! I've been knocking since yesterday, where the hell were you?"
"Rooftop." The word drops too fast, so I snatch up another.
"Bathroom. I was... in the bathroom."
His eyes sweep over me like a scan, pausing at my bare feet, then up my face.
"...Right. Anyway-I ditched school to babysit Abel. Bad news-his fever's still spiking and he won't let me call the nurse... Good news-you're here, can you help?"
My pulse knocks once in my throat. "I'm sorry-did you say Abel is where?"
"...On the couch, downstairs."
I tilt my head. "And when was the last time you saw him on the couch downstairs?"
"...Before coming to you...? Anything wrong?"
I nod, then hold up a finger. "Just a moment-don't move."
I close the door gently then blink to the rooftop. Abel's here. Not on any couch or whatsoever. And it still smells like burnt iron around here.
I return to the apartment, wearing a smile as I swing the door open, "Let's go?"
Luther nods, grinning as we start down the stairs. "So...but can you at least tell me why there's blood on your lip?"
I stop.
He stops too, arching a brow.
"I'm Dracula."
He looks at me with disbelief and awe. "Dracula? In the 21st century?" He turns away. "Come on..."
"I'm serious." I trail after him but he waves me off.
"If you're Dracula, then I'm a wolverine."
≈≈≈
As we reach the dorm, Luther steps ahead, pulls the door open, and tilts his head for me to enter.
I step inside, adjusting to the sudden temperature before scanning the room inch by inch until it lands on the back of the couch across the room. Peeking from behind its frame are huge feet. They spill lazily over one armrest, then a brunette head rests against the other.
"Go..." Luther murmurs, gesturing toward the couch before closing the door quietly. "See for yourself,"
I approach in slow, measured steps. Each step draws me closer to the truth waiting behind the couch's curve. And then-
My breath stutters.
"Abel?"
He's here?
He's resting-if you can call it that-his feather-like lashes rests, casting a shadow over his cheeks. The pulse on his throat is steady and his chest lifts and falls with the slow, stubborn rhythm of someone sunk deep inside themselves.
The same tank top from last night's party clings to his upper body, but a heavy blanket swallows him from the waist down.
Luther was right. All along?
But how?
Circling the couch. "I don't understand."
"I don't either..." Luther responds. "He's been like this since last night. Lazy. Feverish. Asleep."
My knees brush against the edge of the couch as I lean in to place my palm against his forehead. He's normal. His fever is not even close to what I witnessed on the roof.
"What happened?"
Digging his hands in his pocket, "Well... after he dropped you off last night, he didn't go to bed."
I look up. "Where did he go?"
"He was here..." He says, moving closer. " Abel always meditates before bed, and last night? Last night was the first time he's ever encountered any sort of... issue."
Issue?
My gaze drifts back to Abel.
I look on, the memory striking through me like a dart but in shards.
I know I slept peacefully but only to an extent. When I got to the junction where my nightmare usually starts, Abel was already there, sitting beside me on the bed. And the minute I got the first few kicks to my stomach, that was the same moment I registered his hands holding my shoulders.
Could that be the time he encountered the issue? When he tries to wake me up?
I look up again. "What was his unusual behaviour?"
His palm rubs the back of his neck. "It's... personal, Pea Pea. I don't know if I should-"
"I'm not Beatrice, Luther... I don't gossip. What was it?"
"Well... during his discomfort," He bit his bottom lip, stalking. "He... he came, holding his neck."
My brows vault skyward. "He came. Like...he came-came? You're sure?"
Luther dips his chin in a small nod, the tips of his ears blooming red. "I'm certain because..." His let out a long sigh. "I cleaned him."
My jaw drops then quickly clamps shut again. "... okay?"
I'm pretty sure Luther notices the stubborn heat crawling up my cheeks-because now neither of us can quite meet the other's eyes.
"Do you think he was having a wet dream while meditating?"
I cut him with a glance.
"Don't look at me... the moment was pretty twisted for me to watch."
His tone is genuine curiosity, but he's asking the wrong person. And I have to change this topic. ASAP.
"I don't know, Luther... do you think Abel is capable of having a wet dream?"
He sighs. "You're right. Daydreaming about ungodly things-and actually feeling pleasure from it might be a sin for people like him."
"But whatever happened wasn't his fault. It's biology, not blasphemy. I don't see how cumming is some cosmic crime."
"It's not. But Abel couldn't just... cum like that, not without friction. Maybe he thought of something dirty, that's why it's a sin. His thoughts opened the door."
I tilt my head. "And what if it wasn't his thoughts? What if something made it happen?"
His lips part slightly. "People don't just cum out of nowhere, Peanut. There's always a beginning."
My eyes flicker to Abel. Chest rises slowly, lashes facing his cheek bone.
He didn't do this to himself, I did. I bit him and his body simply reacted with orgasm.
I hope he forgives himself when he wakes up?
I lean in again, checking his neck for any bite marks. "His neck seems fine."
"Yea... I checked and found nothing wrong with it."
Glamour.
Either Abel's cloaking the wound with some powerful glamour, or I'm losing my mind-because I know I bit him on the neck.
But which one?
If Abel was here meditating, then how did he end up in my room? How are there two of him?
I rake my fingers through my hair and groan... None of this makes any sense!
"Luther?"
"Yes, Peanut? Need anything?"
I keep my gaze on Abel, "I'm glad you asked. I need you to go back to school. And if anyone asks..." I glance at him, "Abel is in good hands."
He doesn't argue, he just slips out quietly, closing the door behind him.
I blink to the door, twisting the key twice then turn-and slam into something solid like a wall. But this wall has a chilly scent of sandalwood, and is packed with muscles.
Before my hips hit the floor, strong hands shoot out to steady me.
I look up. "You..."
"JESSICA..."
I pause as my name tears from his throat, rough enough to scrape the air between us. It floods my skin with sudden heat, and for a heartbeat I sway, drunk on the sound.
"YOU'RE HERE."
He's...
Wake up, Jessica! Don't let him get away with what' he's done.
I rip myself from his grip.
"I can't be anywhere else-but you know what? I wish I could. Anywhere away from you and your cunning ass-"
I recoil as he leans in abruptly. His breath ghosts over my neck, sniffing slowly before leaning back, lips curling into a smile as if impressed.
"PRETTY... AND SMELL LIKE THE DEAD THAT YOU ARE."
My gaze drops. "Finally... some truth."
When can the truth ever not taste bitter?
His finger is suddenly under my chin, and he's tilting my face up until I'm staring into his...orbit he call eyes.
"I LIKE IT, JESSICA."
Cold.
His touch is cold. His voice is hard like ice, and his eyes are like crystals catching light. I can literally see myself in them.
What's with this tense atmosphere between us?
"Abel-"
"SHH..."
His finger rests on my lips, and I might've let out a helpless sigh. I mean... Who's this kid to sound like a predator in heat? And how is he striping thoughts from my mind?
"LUTHER'S GONE, FINALLY. A MOMENT I HAVE BEEN EAGER TO HAVE WITH YOU."
"Moment..." I scoff. "Is that why you nearly traumatized Luther? Mph, church boy?"
He dips closer, lips brushing my ear. "OH..."
His purr travels straight into my skull, commanding my eyes to close. "I'M SORRY... I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD FANGS. Or THAT YOU'D USE THEM ON ME WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS TO HELP."
His cheek brush against mine as he draws back, causing an involuntary shudder.
"I'm sorry... I got triggered by the nightmare. I thought you were going to hurt me."
His eyes catch light again. "IT FEELS GOOD, JESSICA; THE BITE. I DON'T WANT IT TO STOP."
"It's a sweet poison, Abel. The venom could kill you if you're not... Strong... Enough..."
"I DON'T WANT TO UNDERESTIMATE YOU, JESSICA, SO DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME TOO."
My gaze follows his fingertips as they trail down my arm in a slow, unbroken sweep, coaxing goosebumps from my skin that does not remember how to feel until now. His hands don't stop until they've reached under my thighs.
"Shouldn't I be worried?"
"YOU HAVE NO REASON TO. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HURT. NOTHING CAN."
He grunts, lifting me with effortless strength until my eyes meet his without the strain of tilting my neck.
"If I can't hurt you, then you should be fine. You shouldn't be cooking yourself alive. My venom shouldn't be taking root inside you."
His smile is cold.
Weird. I like it.
"DO YOU WANT TO HURT ME, JESSICA-"
"No... I'm begging you to get better."
"SO YOU CAN KEEP AVOIDING ME? JESSICA, IF GETTING INFECTED BRINGS US CLOSER, THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE CURED-"
I silence him with my mouth.
What was I thinking-no-I wasn't thinking at all. Because I've been waiting for this exact moment since freshman year. And from the way he responds with the same ferocity, he's been waiting too.
"GOD... GOD, YOU TASTE LIKE SIN."
His lips brush mine as he whispers, his gaze continues to linger on my mouth, trembling with the ache to claim me again, yet tethered by the need to breathe.
And I can't help but feel a sense of deja vu. The way he holds me, kiss me, look at me. It's as if... we've done this before.
"I HATE THAT YOU HATE ME"
Still catching my breath, "I don't."
"IT KINDA FEELS LIKE YOU DO... SHOULD MY CHOICE OF BELIEF BE HELD RESPONSIBLE?"
"No, Abel... It's not that."
"THEN WHAT IS IT? WHY DO YOU LOOK AT THEM AND NOT ME. WHY DO YOU... MAKE ME HATE MYSELF EVERYDAY FOR BEING RELIGIOUS?"
"I'm trying to keep you safe from me."
His thumb traces my bottom lip, left to right. A brush that burns more the flame i've ever tasted.
"JESSICA, YOU MAKE ME SAFE...YOU. YOU KEEP ME SAFE."
The words nearly undo me. But I choke on the irony either way.
"By endangering your life? This is what I'm trying to avoid, Abel, but you're stubborn. You never take a hint."
"NO, I DON'T... SORRY, JESSICA, BUT I DON'T LISTEN TO MY ELDERS. AND YOU DON'T SCARE ME... IN FACT, YOU SAVED ME."
Odd.
My senses catch on the feel of his skin. They are getting warm now, thawing from their usual coldness.
Wait-did he just say I saved him?
I look up. "I saved you?"
He nods. "YES. AND I THANK YOU."
I tilt my head, blinking. "But how-"
The room tilts suddenly. I'm standing in front of the door again, and my hand is still resting on the key.
Wait...
"What?" I turn away from the door, immediately locking eyes with- "Abel? You're awake."
Why is he breathing so hard, as if he's just been in a fight in his sleep.
"The venom-"
"The venom didn't do this to me, Jessica," His voice cuts through as he staggers to his feet. "Your thoughts did."
I tilt my head slightly. "My-my thoughts?"
"Power does not only lie on the tongue, but also on our thoughts. It carries out wishes without us voicing the command."
Well...I already figured that out.
I remain where I am. My heart is still thrashing from the encounter I just had with... myself? And how brutal it climaxed without me even climaxing -wait...
Was that my thoughts at play too? Did I create that scenario?
"Jessica."
I look up. "You're okay now."
He doesn't move, doesn't even blink-thank the devil.
"You're safe...I guess you've learned your lesson? Now will you stay away from me?"
He grimace. "What?"
I scoff. "Abel, you can't be serious...you shouldn't be confused if I asked you to stay away...not after this."
"This..."
He staggers, and I lunge forward before I even know why.
"what's this? What happened?"
"What happened? You nearly died, Abel." My throat burns as the words scrape out. "Back at the bar, you didn't react when Naomi touched you, so I thought-fine, sooner or later someone or something will take you out for me. Maybe then I'll finally be free of you, and then... last night I bit you. My venom almost killed you."
"Well... that would've been a mission accomplished." His voice is flat, dismissive, like he's talking about the weather. "You should've let it finish me off."
"What?"
"Yes," he shrugs, his lips curling, looking like someone cheated him out of the ending he wanted. Like the crime here is that he's still breathing.
"What did you just say?"
My feet move before my brain does, closing the gap between us, desperate to drag his gaze back to mine.
I need proof of something.
"You think I hate you enough to want you dead?"
"But I know you hate me...and I hate myself as much because I can't do anything about it. I'd really appreciate it if you let me go-"
"I want you to feel, Abel. To fucking feel. You're not stone, not wood, not some statue I can shove in a corner. You're a goddamn human being. What do I do with you if you won't do that? If you don't say what I want to hear, want me, something?! What use are you to me when you can't even-"
My words choke out as my back slams against the door. I didn't fall back on my own, some...thing pushed me. I'm trying to move-but I can't. An invisible force is crushing me in place.
I lift my head-and quickly squint my eyes at the blinding glow that suddenly swallows the room. Abel stands at its heart, wings ripping open from his back, spanning wide and free.
My jaw drops, and my pulse follows.
"This is me, Jessica."
Mmm.... I was hoping his voice would float, drip with aura, but instead it...drags, like something dying?
Wait... How do I hear him when his lips never move?
"My whole life, I've been denied so many things-denied the right to bond with another, to want something or someone, to touch that someone... to love that someone. I can't even feel without being punished for it." His eyes shimmer with tears, yet his mouth twists into a smile that tastes of despair.
"But I was never denied this-the right to hate myself. To punish myself to death."
Punished to death? All my life, I've lost people by accident, and he wants to die willingly?
"Wait... That's why you misled me when I came knocking? Because you knew I'd try to save you? You weren't sweating the venom out-you were spreading it, making yourself too hot for me to touch. And when I sent Luther away, you tried to distract me-"
"By giving your thoughts a skin, telling you what you've always wanted to hear. How you've always wanted me to be around you," His jaw locks. "Until you kissed him."
"Him..." I blink. "That kiss is what saved you, isn't it?"
"..."
"So all I had to do was kiss you, and you didn't tell me? Why?"
"Why? Why what, Jessica? Why tell you if getting rid of me is what you want?"
I laugh, and then frown. "You're absurd, you know that? One minute you're stalking me, the next you beg for death in my hands. If you want to die so badly, Abel, why don't you just do it yourself! Why use me?"
His gaze pins me harder. "I can't... Angels are forbidden to strike themselves. But if death should come by other means, it has to be from you."
"Why me?"
"You're an angel... Of death. Only you can kill me, Jessica. Only you."