(T/N: There is now a p.atreon for this work, check it out for an early release of up to 30 chapters edited smoothly.
https://www.p.atreon.com/INeedRest)
Leave some comments and power stones.
**********
Inside the Potions office, Severus Snape sat motionless at his desk, staring blankly at the small booklet in his hands.
This booklet contained Erwin's Christmas gift, detailed instructions for the spell [Eden's Memory Sanctuary], along with carefully written notes on its proper usage and limitations.
He didn't particularly care how he got such a spell…
Thinking of Erwin, Snape's emotions grew complicated, tangled in ways he couldn't fully articulate.
They shared so many similarities.
Both were half-bloods.
Both possessed extraordinary magical talent, particularly in Potions.
Though Snape had to admit, grudgingly, that the boy surpassed him in other subjects as well.
But their choices had diverged at the most crucial moment.
Snape had chosen Slytherin, desperate to prove his worth, to embrace the prestige and power that house represented.
Erwin had chosen to join his house purely to follow after Cho.
Sometimes, in the darkest hours of the night, Snape would torture himself with the question: if he had gone to Gryffindor all those years ago, would everything have been different? Would Lily still be alive? Would she have been his?
That was why he watched Erwin so carefully.
The boy represented another possibility, the path Snape had wanted most desperately but had lacked the courage to take.
And now, Erwin had given him this spell.
A chance to find the answer himself.
Snape opened the booklet with trembling fingers and read Erwin's introduction to the magic.
"The more intimately you know a person, the more realistic their projection within the memory space will become. Their speech patterns, reactions, and choices will mirror reality with remarkable accuracy."
Whether it was Lily or that damned James Potter, Snape could guarantee with absolute certainty that he knew them better than anyone else in the world.
Better than any of their so-called friends.
Not even James Potter's faithful lapdog Sirius Black understood them as deeply as he did.
Gritting his teeth against the surge of old bitterness, Snape set aside the booklet and withdrew his wand.
With his current level of mastery, learning this spell would take mere hours.
He worked through the afternoon and into early evening, practicing the wand movements and memorizing the complex incantation.
His natural talent for spell modification allowed him to adapt the magic to his own casting style.
Finally, as twilight painted his office walls with shadows, he felt ready.
Without allowing himself time for second thoughts or hesitation, Snape raised his wand to his temple.
Wisps of silvery memory-smoke emerged at his touch, swirling around the wand tip like ethereal threads.
"[Eden's Memory Sanctuary]!"
The moment he spoke the incantation, reality fractured and reformed.
The dingy walls of his office dissolved, replaced by the grandeur of the Great Hall as it had existed decades ago.
Before him stood the raised platform.
The Sorting Hat sat waiting on its stool.
And there, among the crowd of first-years, was a face he would never forget as long as he lived, not in this world or any other.
Lily Evans.
Young, vibrant, her green eyes bright with excitement and wonder.
For several moments, he looked at her and couldn't believe what he was seeing.
After forcing himself to take several deep, steadying breaths, Snape reached out with his consciousness and projected a portion of his mental essence into his younger self's body. The child-Snape's awareness dimmed, and Snape-as-he-was-now took control.
****
Inside the memory space, Snape climbed the steps to the platform and seated himself on the stool. The Sorting Hat descended onto his head.
"Not bad talent," came the Hat's lazy, considering voice. "Your bloodline shows potential as well. Let's see... considerable ambition, and a sharp mind… what more to say, Slyt-"
"Shut up! I'm going to Gryffindor."
Snape interrupted sharply, his mental voice cutting through the Hat's analysis like a blade.
"Boy, what did you say?"
The Sorting Hat sounded genuinely shocked.
In all its centuries of sorting students, it had never encountered such aggressive defiance from an eleven-year-old.
"I said shut up and put me in Gryffindor! I don't care about bloodline purity or ambition or any of Slytherin's supposed virtues. I want Gryffindor."
Snape's internal roar resonated with such fierce intensity that the Hat actually recoiled slightly.
"Very well, very well. No need to shout. Gryffindor it is, then. Now kindly remove me from your head before you damage me or something."
The moment the word "Gryffindor" rang out across the Great Hall, Snape tore the Hat from his head and practically threw it back onto the stool.
His legs carried him swiftly down the platform steps, his entire focus locked on the girl who had appeared in his dreams countless times but whom he could never meet again in reality.
"Lily..."
He breathed her name so softly it was barely a whisper, as though speaking any louder might shatter this precious, impossible moment.
"I didn't expect you to choose Gryffindor," Lily said brightly, her smile genuine and warm. "You kept insisting you wanted Slytherin. What changed your mind?"
She didn't notice, couldn't possibly notice, that the Severus Snape standing before her was no longer quite the same boy she'd known in their childhood.
"Where you are, I will be."
The words emerged before Snape could stop them, raw and honest and far too revealing.
Lily froze, her eyes widening.
A delicate blush spread across her cheeks, coloring them pink.
"You... what did you say?" Her voice came out stammered and uncertain.
Snape caught himself, realizing he'd spoken too openly, too quickly.
"We're best friends, aren't we?" he said more gently, forcing his tone toward something lighter.
"Of course, we should be in the same house. I want us to stay together."
The explanation seemed to satisfy her, and her smile returned.
****
The years that followed unfolded like a dream Snape had never dared imagine.
As a Gryffindor, he remained somewhat out of place among the boisterous, reckless lions.
His personality was too sharp, too guarded, his humor too dark.
But none of that mattered because he had time with Lily, precious, irreplaceable time.
They attended classes together, studied in the library together, and brewed experimental potions together in unused classrooms.
Most importantly, in this version of events, he never called her that horrible, unforgivable word.
The slur never passed his lips, and their friendship deepened naturally.
James Potter, observing how close Severus and Lily had become and finding no opening to insert himself into their relationship, eventually turned his attention elsewhere.
He began pursuing a talented Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team instead.
The intersection between their social circles gradually diminished.
Potter and his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, continued their pranks and mischief, but Snape was no longer their primary target.
Without the constant antagonism, without the bitter rivalry, events unfolded differently.
But the good times couldn't last forever.
Voldemort's rise to power cast a shadow across the entire wizarding world.
The Wizarding War erupted with devastating force, and darkness consumed Britain's magical community.
Lily, inspired by her admiration for Albus Dumbledore and her fierce sense of justice, joined the Order of the Phoenix.
Snape followed without hesitation, not out of any great loyalty to Dumbledore's cause, but because he would follow Lily anywhere, even into the jaws of death itself.
In the end, both of them fell during a mission that went catastrophically wrong.
They died together, side by side, facing the darkness as partners.
****
Reality. Potions office.
Snape withdrew his mental projection and slowly opened his eyes, returning to his body in the present.
Though what felt like years had passed within the memory space, only a handful of minutes had elapsed in the real world.
Tears streamed freely down his face, carving hot tracks through the accumulated bitterness of decades.
His cheeks were wet, his vision blurred.
But despite the tears, despite the pain of knowing what could have been and never would be, the corners of Severus Snape's mouth curved upward in a small, genuine smile.
He had his answer now.
The question that had haunted him for so many years had finally been laid to rest.
Lily had felt something for him.
She had cared.
Their connection had been real, deep, and meaningful.
He had destroyed it all with his own hands, his own choices, his own cowardice, and his own desperate need to prove himself worthy…
He had handed Lily over to James Potter as surely as if he'd gift-wrapped her.
Some people, once missed, were lost forever.