Hu Tao's honeyed tongue was working overtime again.
Just one sentence from her, and the atmosphere froze harder than Qiqi's expression.
"Um… may I help you with something?"
Lumine smiled awkwardly, polite but clearly uncomfortable.
"Don't be afraid, I'm not a bad person~ I just want to talk about a little something concerning life and death."
Hu Tao clenched her fists in front of her chest like she was giving herself a pep talk, her bright smile radiating pure sincerity.
"Actually, I've done my research on you! Member of the Adventurers' Guild, dealt with the Stormterror crisis in Mondstadt, earned the title of Honorary Knight, and just yesterday the Shogunate put a bounty on your head…"
She spread her hands dramatically, pointing at Lumine with the gleam of a treasure hunter who'd just struck gold.
"A high-quality client like you is a priority customer at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! Among our four ranks—Hu, Tao, Zhu, and Mu—you're a Tao-tier VIP! So~ are you interested in learning about our services? I promise, the discounts are to die for!"
Lumine's face stiffened.
"Sorry. Not interested."
Who in their right mind pre-orders their own coffin? She still had a missing brother to find! Was this girl trying to jinx her?!
But Hu Tao raised her finger confidently, launching straight into a full-blown sales pitch:
"Ah, I see, the customer has some natural resistance to the funeral business. Actually—"
The more she talked, the more excited she became.
Lumine and Paimon were already on the verge of turning tail and running.
Unable to take it anymore, Bai Hao grabbed Hu Tao by the elbow and dragged her to a corner for a "private chat."
Crossing his arms, he sighed.
"Hall Master, don't you think your sales technique has a few issues?"
Hu Tao blinked her plum blossom eyes innocently.
"Issues? Not at all! As long as I make her feel the warmth of home, she'll definitely choose Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! Oh, right—would you like to sign up?"
Bai Hao raised one finger.
"Hall Master, let's start with the basics. You know why you were kicked out of Yujing Terrace, right? It's because your sales strategy is ancient history!"
Hu Tao froze, then her eyes sparkled like Mora coins.
"Oh? Go on then, what's your idea? As long as it works, the Mora's yours—lots of it!"
Bai Hao shook his head.
"Forget the Mora. Let's… talk another day."
Hu Tao tilted her head.
"Another day?"
Bai Hao cleared his throat.
"Ahem. What I mean is, I have to accompany them to the Rite of Descension ceremony first."
He gestured at Lumine and Paimon.
"So how about this—give me two days, then I'll come to Wangsheng Parlor myself and we'll discuss it in detail. Sound good?"
Hu Tao tapped her chin thoughtfully, then nodded.
"Alright, then I won't bother you for now."
She reached into her sleeve and pulled out a small, gold-engraved wooden plaque, handing it to him with a sweet smile.
"This is a Hu-rank membership token for Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. With it, you can enjoy the best discounts on all our services. Keep it safe, okay?"
"No problem."
Bai Hao accepted it. It still carried a faint trace of the girl's fragrance and warmth.
Naturally, he slipped it into his pocket with satisfaction.
Anything from his "wife Hu Tao," he'd treasure for life.
After that, the trio headed into Yujing Terrace.
"Bai Hao, how did you get her to stop pestering us?"
Paimon fluttered beside him in awe, glancing back to see Hu Tao still waving enthusiastically from the gates, shouting things like "Have fun! Don't forget to visit Wangsheng Parlor~!"
Bai Hao shrugged lazily.
"Nothing much. Just painted her a big pie in the sky. But who knows—might make a fortune out of it later."
For all her wit and mischief, Hu Tao was surprisingly naive when it came to sales.
Or rather—she was adorably, hopelessly honest.
Which made her perfect for a little "mutual profit."
Of course, Bai Hao wasn't about to do anything immoral. He believed in win-win outcomes.
After all, before you can milk a goat—you've got to make sure it's pregnant first!
"A fortune?!"
Lumine's ahoge quivered, her eyes lighting up with greedy curiosity.
"How exactly are you planning to make money off this?"
"Yeah, yeah, tell us!" Paimon chimed in, her eyes gleaming like two Mora coins.
Both of them leaned forward expectantly.
Bai Hao coughed lightly.
"Can't say. If I tell you, it won't work. Trade secret."
"Aww…" Paimon pouted. "Is everyone in the City of Contracts this scheming?"
"Heh. No business without cunning."
Yujing Terrace was vast—they walked a good kilometer or two before reaching the main ceremonial plaza.
It was packed with people—tens of thousands bustling and chattering in excitement.
On the high platform, the foreign envoys sat in the front rows.
At the center stood Ningguang, representing the Liyue Qixing, poised gracefully before the crowd.
Behind her were rows of Millelith soldiers and attendants, and long tables laden with offerings, censers, and burning incense.
"Wow! It's so fancy! So beautiful!" Paimon gasped, her tiny wings fluttering.
The Rite of Descension was far grander than they'd imagined—this single event probably cost over a hundred billion Mora!
"Of course," Bai Hao said, lacing his hands behind his head with a lazy grin. "The Geo Archon is the God of Mora, after all."
"And Liyue's the beating heart of Teyvat's trade—the golden capital of the world. They're not about to skimp on the presentation."
Zhongli, that old spendthrift dragon, always insisted on the finest and most expensive of everything.
After a lifetime of waging wars, he'd earned the right to enjoy himself.
And the people of Liyue, of course, would never shortchange their own god.
Every year's Rite of Descension had to be more extravagant than the last—both to honor the Lord of Geo's blessings, and to display Liyue's wealth and grandeur to the world.
A perfect demonstration of the prosperity and pride of the Heavenly Empire!
That was how you drew in more talent—and more capital.
And that same spirit of showmanship and profit was why Bai Hao loved flexing and scheming for easy Mora.
He was Liyuean by birth, after all. It was in his DNA.
The three of them squeezed through the dense crowd, finally reaching the front to witness the ceremony.
On the high altar, Ningguang shielded her eyes from the sun as she took two elegant steps forward.
Her hands folded before her, she proclaimed to the sea of people below:
"The auspicious hour has come. The Rite of Descension shall begin!"
She raised her hands slightly, and crystals of pure stone began to coalesce around her, orbiting at high speed.
Forming hand seals, she resonated with the massive Eight Trigram Array beneath her feet.
A surge of golden light erupted, blazing skyward.
Under the gaze of tens of thousands, the winds shifted, the clouds churned, thunder roared—
The sky darkened.
BOOOOOM!
A deafening clap of thunder split the heavens, as a half-dragon, half-Qilin divine beast came crashing down from above!
The explosion of dust and shockwaves swept across the entire plaza—
—and the Rite of Descension had only just begun…
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