"You found her on Craigslist?"
"Yeah! Pretty crazy right?!"
"No that's… pretty boring actually..."
I sighed.
"Your standard for what is considered "crazy" is not very high… is it?"
"Well, it's not my fault the 3D world is sooooooo boring. Why would anyone prefer thinking that hard about 3D compared to 2D?!"
"…Anyways, you said she's an actual performer, right? Have you seen any of her performances?"
"I mean… she sings randomly throughout the day and in the shower sometimes. Does that count?"
"… no…"
"…"
"Well, have you seen ANY live performance at all before?"
She thought about this for a moment.
"Uhhh… Yes actually!"
"Oh? Who?"
"Cloud 9!
"…"
"What?"
"NOT A GAMING PERFORMANCE… an art performance like… a live concert or something, I don't know. Don't you have ANY musical group that you like?"
"Uhhh......…there are a few K-Pop Artists!"
"…are you going to say KDA… that doesn't count…"
"What! This is an outrage, why not?! Gaming stages are legitimate stages for performers you know!"
"… you know what, I don't know why I asked, let's just stay focused on the first task then. Can you show me this 'Bob' dance again?"
"Uhhh… sure!" she began heading over to turn on her switch which prompted me to swiftly fly in front of her.
"Just a video of it will do…" I said pointing to her computer.
"…fine."
We went to her desktop where she showed a video of the "Bob" dance as she described it.
"Alright… and now demonstrate it for me again."
"Yes sir!"
She stood up and began making the arm wave movements like in the video.
"Pretty accurate right?!"
"Hmmm…"
I examined her doing it a few more times looking closely at her and then the video game character known as "Bob" doing it on the computer screen.
"The movements are the same right?"
"Hmmmmmmmmmmm…"
"I'm ready to record right?!?!"
"NOT EVEN CLOSE…"
I said crossing my arms.
"What! No way! We look exactly the same!"
"No, you don't… just waving your arms back and forth a dance does not make… even a simple one. Your rhythm's off, your arms seem to have no coordination with each other whatsoever let alone with the rest of your body, which as you can see on the screen, are all synchronized together. Here, watch me try."
Of course… since we were to be helping others do art, us pixies had to be experts at all the different art forms.
"1, 2, 3, 4" I began counting in my head.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2,"
"Woahhhhh"
Candance let out a gasp as she looked at me in surprise as I began doing the dance almost perfectly in rhythm.
"How are you doing that so accurately?"
"It's all about timing you see, even if it's a simple dance, your mind and all body parts have to be in tune with each other in order for the dance to look good."
"I see…" she said still staring at me. It was quite the intense stare of admiration which almost made me lose my concentration.
"It's… it's nothing," I said blushing slightly, "just… practice by counting 1, 2, 3, 4."
"Oh! Like Jhin! I can do that! 1, 2, 3, FOUR!" She yelled.
"…it's the same volume for all of them…"
"Oh… well that's weird? Why wouldn't the fourth number have emphasis!?"
"Because Riot games did not invent musical principles that have existed for thousands of years…" I said sighing… why was I blushing again?
"Anyways Calypso, let's try again, repeat after me. 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4,"
"1, 2, 3,4,"
"You're rushing the last beat, make sure you stay consistent. It'll help maybe if you tap your legs while counting."
I demonstrated doing just this.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4,"
"Hmmm… okay I got it!"
"1, 2, 3,4"
"Still rushing…"
"1,2, 3, 4"
"Now you're rushing the first 2 beats."
"1, 2,3, 4"
"Now it's the middle 2 beats."
"Urgh what the heck! How can you even tell that closely?"
"Years of training… anyways, let's try with a metronome, maybe that will help."
I went to her computer and searched up a free "metronome" online.
"Okay… let's just set this at 120BPM, that shouldn't be too fast."
"1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4," I counted out loud.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4,"
"There you go," I said. I went to the computer, increasing the speed of the metronome.
"Let's try it faster now."
"1, 2,3, 4"
"You're rushing beats 2 and 3."
"1, 2, 3, 4"
"The 4th beat is too slow now."
"1,2,3,4,"
"That was just rushed in general."
"AHHHHHH"
She faceplanted herself onto the bed in seeming resignation.
"Why me…"
"…"
I sighed, flying next to her.
"Come on… is it really that bad?"
"Yes…" she said muffled. I could see drool running onto her pillow… "not fun at all."
"Not fun?"
I pondered this for a moment.
"Well yeah… practicing is usually not fun. That's not why we do it..."
"Can't you like…I don't know… make practice like a game?"
"… NOT EVERYTHING IS A GAME..."
"Well, I mean, it can be! Haven't you heard of Guitar Hero?"
"…You are not weaseling your way to playing more video games, understand!"
"Mmmmmmm..." She looked like she was about to cry.
"Wait no… please don't…"
"Who are you talking to?!?!"
Before any more tears could be formed however… I was saved when the door of her room suddenly flung open. Coming in was a blonde woman with hazel eyes dressed up in a pretty black dress. Or perhaps it was just a very pretty girl with a normal black dress on. You could never tell with highly attractive people dressed up as nicely as she was. I couldn't help but stare at her in awe for a moment.
"Rachel!" Calypso said, sitting up, "you're back already?"
"Uhhh… yeah? This is the day I said I'd be back, isn't it?"
"What?! But it's only Friday!"
"It's Sunday…"
She facepalmed.
"Did you spend the whole weekend gaming again, Calypso…"
"Uhhh…"
"Right… anyways, I thought I heard a metronome earlier. Have you finally decided to give music a try?"
"Wait what?! Can't you see the sketchy pixie in the room staring at you like a creep?"
"She can't hear me…" I said, ignoring the comment.
"What?"
"Only you can hear me, Calypso!"
"…Oh, come on! That's so cliché!"
While we argued back and forth, Rachel continued to stare at Calypso blankly.
"Uh-huh…" she said finally, "so you had edibles earlier then…"
"No, just… URGH!" she looked at me annoyed, to which I just shrugged, "just… ignore what I was saying before. I'm sober right now… you know I take my gaming very seriously!"
"Right…" she said, "Well…once I get changed, I'm going to take a few rips of the bong on the porch, want to join?"
"Hmm… well… I was supposed to be on T-Break but…"
"I think you should go! Marijuana is known to boost creativity, don't you know?" I said.
"SHUT UP… you know nothing about what it takes to be a high-level gamer! It affects your mechanics!"
"Ummm…"
"Sorry not you Rachel, just…"
She took a deep breath turning to Rachel.
"You're probably not going to believe this but… this magical pixie creature just randomly appeared in my room out of nowhere clamoring how I have to be a "staaarrrr" or whatever the fuck that means in order to save Pixie kind or some shit…"
Rachel and Calypso stared blankly at each other for a moment before Rachel burst out in laughter.
"Okay… I get it Calypso, you're a bigger stoner than I am! Let me take a shower and then catch up really quick!"
"What? No, I'm…"
But it was already too late as Rachel began walking out of Calypso's room shutting the door behind her.
"Sober…"
She looked at me with an annoyed expression.
"When can I exit this simulation…"
"This isn't a simulation, Calypso!" I said chuckling, "This is real life where you're going to be a star! Now come on, wave your arms back and forth like Bob again!"
"Urghhh!!!!" She groaned. But much to my surprise she did just that, waving her hands around again.
"Too slow on the second beat, try again!"
"Grrrr…"
"Too fast now!"
"GRRRRRRRRRR…."
"I mean… you can think of it like a very difficult video game if you want! Let's power up!"
"They have K-Pop in pixie land too?"
"They have K-Pop everywhere nowadays don't you know!"