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"Come to think of it," Genos suddenly said, "at the Hero Seminar they mentioned that if a Class C hero doesn't take any action within a week, they'll be removed from the registry. You're aware of that, right, Sensei?"
"Yeah, yeah!" Ethan added lazily, basking in the warm sunlight. "I've been waiting for you to go do some missions, Saitama, but you've been doing nothing."
"Wait, what? They said that?!" Saitama's eyes went wide.
"Of course they did! I remember it perfectly," Ethan replied, his voice slow and half-drowsy from the sun.
"Ahhhh! Crap! This is bad!" Saitama started panicking, scrambling to put on his hero outfit—basically just that yellow jumpsuit of his.
As Saitama rushed out the door, Ethan sighed. He could already tell today would be another one of those days—Saitama running around, accomplishing absolutely nothing. Honestly, following him sounded boring. The sun was warm, the breeze was nice… might as well enjoy a nap instead.
He glanced at his arm. Despite spending hours in the sun, his skin never tanned—it actually looked shinier. Not bad, he thought. Being a Superman who literally powers up by sunbathing was a pretty sweet deal. If only he didn't have that weird "monster magnet" curse that made trouble come to him out of nowhere.
"Now that I think about it," he muttered, scratching his head, "it's been days since any monsters have come after me. Maybe I am meant to be a hero. Maybe all those attacks before were just fate pushing me toward hero work…"
Just as he said that, something green and slimy dripped from the ceiling.
A thick, jelly-like goo stretched downward, then plopped onto the floor, quivering and growing until it formed a wobbling mass of green slime.
"What the—? Don't tell me… a monster?"
Ethan froze. He'd just said there weren't any monsters around anymore—and here one was, dropping straight into his living room. That was fast, even for irony.
And of course, Saitama had literally just left. He went out looking for monsters, and one popped up right here. Poor bald guy really couldn't catch a break.
"Genos! Get in here! Monster attack!" Ethan yelled, pointing at the gooey intruder.
The slime lunged forward, trying to engulf him, but before it could, a blast of flame roared from behind. The creature sizzled, shrieked, and melted into a puddle of blackened residue.
Genos stepped forward, smoke still rising from his hands. "Mr. Ethan, you're a Class B hero now. With your strength, you could've handled something like this easily. Why call for help?"
"Because it's too much work," Ethan said matter-of-factly. "Why move when I can just shout and let you handle it? Saves effort."
Genos just stared at him, completely speechless.
Ethan stretched, yawning. "You know, I've been a hero for a while now and still haven't met any cute female heroes. I heard the top B-Class hero is supposed to be a total knockout, but I've never even seen her."
"That's because, since becoming a hero, you haven't actually left the house," Genos replied flatly.
"Wait, really? Huh. Guess I didn't notice," Ethan said, blinking in surprise.
By the time night fell, Saitama finally came back home.
"Yo, Saitama!" Ethan called. "So, how'd it go? How many monsters did you take down?"
"None."
"Then maybe you helped some civilians or something?"
"Nope. Not a thing."
"So… basically, you spent the whole day accomplishing absolutely nothing? Man, that's rough."
"Not nothing!" Saitama said defensively. "I helped an old lady cross the street!"
"Oh?"
"But after I got her across, I found out she'd just come from the other side. So basically… I undid all her effort."
"…"
"Pfft—Hahaha! That's so you, Saitama!"
The next morning, Saitama was up early again. It was officially the last day of the week—his final chance to complete at least one hero activity before getting kicked off the registry.
Ethan decided to tag along this time. He figured something interesting would happen if he went with Saitama—and honestly, he still hadn't met any of those so-called beautiful female heroes Genos mentioned. Maybe getting out of the house would fix that.
They walked through the busy streets. Everything was peaceful, the city calm and bright. Not a hint of danger anywhere.
Saitama sighed, frustrated. "Ugh, this is the last day! Don't tell me this is how my hero career ends! Come on, world! Throw me one monster! Just one!"
"Relax," Ethan said. "There's a saying—'the road always opens before the cart,' or something like that. It's still early; something's bound to happen. And even if you do get kicked off the list, you can just retake the hero exam later. No big deal."
"…Why does your 'encouragement' make me feel even worse?" Saitama groaned.
Ethan shrugged and tilted his face toward the sun. The warm light washed over him, pushing away every shadow, leaving only brightness. Perfect weather for doing absolutely nothing.
He followed Saitama at a lazy distance, watching the bald hero dart around like a maniac looking for work. The way Saitama was moving—twitchy, desperate—he honestly looked kinda sketchy.
Seeing the wary looks from the passersby, Ethan couldn't help but snicker. "Yeah… at this rate, people are definitely gonna mistake him for a creep."
"..."
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