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"I've been a hero for three years now," Saitama groaned, his face twisted in despair. "I've taken down more monsters than I can count… so why? Why does nobody know who I am? Not only that—people think I'm a villain! Why?!"
"That… is indeed a problem, Sensei," Genos frowned slightly. "Wait—did you ever register with the Hero Association?"
"Register? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Yes. Three years ago, after that billionaire with the double chin founded the Hero Association, everyone who wanted to be a professional hero started registering through them."
"Hold on—'double chin billionaire'? Who the heck is that supposed to be?"
"Eh, just some side character. I forgot his real name, so let's call him that."
"Oh. Got it."
…
"So basically," Saitama muttered, "because I never registered, everyone just thinks I'm some weirdo in a yellow jumpsuit?"
"Exactly, Sensei."
"Alright then—it's settled! I'm going to register as a hero right now!"
"If that's your decision, I'll go with you," Genos said earnestly.
"Ethan, you coming too?" Saitama called over to the white-haired man slumped across the table. "We could all register together."
Ethan lifted his head lazily. "Register? Sounds like a hassle. I'll pass."
Genos turned toward him. "But Mr. Ethan, you're quite powerful yourself. Registering might be a good idea. Besides, the Association is full of strong heroes… and perhaps even a few powerful—and beautiful—women."
"Say no more! Let's go!" Ethan jumped to his feet before Genos even finished his sentence, grabbing both him and Saitama by the arms and dragging them toward the door.
…
The Hero Association's headquarters towered above them—lavish, gleaming, clearly the work of absurdly rich people. It made that ridiculous "Poop Tower" from the previous chapter look like a cheap public restroom.
"So many people…" Ethan gawked at the massive crowd lined up outside. "All of these guys want to be heroes?"
"Looks that way," Saitama nodded. "Didn't expect the competition to be this tough."
"It's because monsters keep popping up everywhere," Genos explained. "Crime's gotten worse, too. Ordinary citizens need heroes more than ever. So of course, the number of people who want to be heroes skyrocketed."
Ethan scanned the crowd. Most were bulky muscleheads—guys who looked strong but probably couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag. Not worth paying attention to.
As for women—there were some, but not many. And most of them were so muscular that Ethan had to squint to tell what gender they even were. He covered his face in despair. If this is the female turnout, how many actual beauties could there possibly be in the Association?
"Hey, what's going on over there? Looks like something's happening," Saitama said.
"I think a famous actress showed up. She's signing up to be a hero too!"
At the mention of a celebrity, Ethan instantly perked up. "Wait, a beautiful actress? Finally! Someone with curves and a face worth looking at! I knew it—there had to be at least one gorgeous, strong woman in the Hero Association!"
Just as he finished speaking, the actress took a dramatic step forward… and promptly tripped flat on her face. The ground was perfectly smooth—not even a pebble in sight.
"…Right. Never mind. Total airhead," Ethan muttered, rubbing his temples.
Hours passed before they even got their registration forms. The process was mind-numbingly slow. Ethan and Saitama yawned as they filled in the usual details—name, blood type, address. Nothing exciting.
Once they were done, each of them received a numbered badge. Ethan glanced at his—#10086. He sighed. Seriously? Did the cellphone company hack its way into this world too? Judging by the numbers, though, there had to be over ten thousand applicants that day alone.
Next came the physical tests and written exam. For Ethan, neither was difficult. A casual display of strength and speed was enough to shock everyone watching.
Saitama, of course, shattered every record. His scores were literally off the charts—he got full marks across the board.
Then came the written test. Ethan breezed through it, his pen flying across the page. Saitama, on the other hand, scratched his shiny head in agony. Written tests clearly weren't his thing.
Becoming a hero wasn't easy. Of the ten thousand people who applied that day, only three passed the exams—Saitama, Genos, and Ethan.
Ethan couldn't help but be impressed. "Wow. Guess the Association doesn't mess around."
"Finally done!" Saitama yawned. "Man, tests are such a drag."
"Yeah, totally," Ethan agreed. "By the way, Genos, did you even need to take the physical test? Wouldn't uploading your mechanical specs be faster?"
Genos hesitated. "…Fair point."
"For normal people, though, this whole process is brutal. Out of ten thousand, only three of us passed," Ethan said.
"Yeah," Saitama replied.
"I got a perfect score!" Genos said proudly. "They ranked me as an S-Class Hero!"
"S-Class?" Ethan blinked. "That's the highest rank, isn't it? Let's see what I got… huh. Just B-Class?"
He stared at his results. Sure enough, "B-Class Hero" was printed neatly beside his name.
To be fair, it made sense. He hadn't shown off nearly as much raw power as Saitama during the tests, even though he aced the written exam. The combined score landed him safely in B-Class territory.
Saitama burst out laughing. "Hah! Only B-Class? That's pretty weak, man! You must've been holding back during the test. If you'd gone all out like me, you'd be at least A-Class by now!"
Ethan shrugged. "B-Class is fine. Too high a rank sounds like a pain anyway. The S-Class guys are probably always getting called up to deal with the nastiest monsters. Sounds exhausting."
"Hmph, listen to you," Saitama said smugly. "A B-Class hero hanging around us S- and A-Class types… you don't think that's a little—"He choked mid-sentence, coughing violently.
"What's wrong, Sensei?" Genos asked.
"I—I'm… C-Class," Saitama wheezed.
…
"Ohhh, that explains it!" Ethan snapped his fingers. "It's because you're bald! The Association must have some kind of anti-bald bias—they probably just gave you a pity pass!"
"..."
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