.The morning hits the windows of our dormitory room. I opened my eyes and saw the bright sunlight which is pouring on my face. Finally the winter season has ended here in Shanghai, and now this early start of summer—I just really loved it.
Then I got up from my bed and went towards the window, just enjoying this weather, this morning, this sunlight for a while. Then my eyes suddenly hit the wall clock and I saw it's eight in the morning. Oh no, I got quite late today. I need to take a shower first and go to the set on time, otherwise I'll get late there.
Then I hurried myself and went to take a shower. After taking it, I got myself ready and was about to leave the room, then I saw Wang Ruoxi is still sleeping. I smiled while looking at her, and I opened the door of our room and went out from there very slowly so that it didn't make any kind of noise that could make Wang Ruoxi awake from her sleep. I closed the door also very slowly, and then I headed towards my bus stop. After forty-five minutes I finally reached my set.
And then the moment I entered the set, I saw a few of the crew members were talking about something. Then I went a little bit near to them just to hear what they were talking about, as my curiosity took me there—my curiosity always wins over me. And then the moment I got myself a little bit closer to them, I heard them saying, "Now finally we are going back to our homes."
Going back to our homes—I repeated their words to myself. What are they talking about? I murmured this to myself. Then I continued to listen to them.
Then they were saying that finally the shooting of this drama is going to be ended within three days, and after that we'll go on vacations. Then the other crew member who was standing with them said, "Yes, of course, it was so hectic, but finally we can take a rest now. This drama project is going to end within three days, and then we all are free, and I will take a break surely after that." Then they all laughed together and continued to talk.
But I stepped back a little because what I heard was enough for me. Then I turned around and went to my makeup room. While going there, there were a lot, a lot of thoughts going inside my mind. I don't know how to handle it, but there are a lot of things going inside me. Is the shoot really gonna end soon? I asked myself.
No, not soon—it's going to be ended within three days. But didn't I know this already? Everything, whatever we have started, will surely come to an end on some day, no matter how much beautiful it was. Every good thing also needs to end, and this is called life. If anything doesn't end, then how will the next chapter of life start? Our life is just like a novel where we need to turn the page and start the next chapter in it. No matter how much the previous chapter is interesting, to complete the novel we need to turn the pages and move to another page of another chapter.
Just like mine—now I also have to move to my next chapter of my life. But the only thing which is bothering me is not that the shooting is going to be ended; the thing is that now I am not able to see my Yuan anymore. Because of this project I am able to meet him, which I have never imagined even in my dreams. Because of this project I am able to see him daily in front of me, in front of my eyes. But it seems like it's just a matter of a few days now, and soon I'll need to go back to my little fangirl mode again. Because after the ending of this project I won't be able to see him daily, so I again have to start seeing him on my phone's screen, which I was doing for the past five years.
So I think this is the time for me to come back to my little fangirl era. Then I took a deep breath and said to myself that once a little fangirl will always remain a little fangirl.
Then while thinking about these things I finally reached the makeup room, and the moment I was about to open the door of my makeup room and about to touch the handle of that door, he came and held my hand—and again my Mr heart started beating so fast. It has been so many days of me being with him, but every time—every time—whenever he comes, my Mr heart just pops up.
"Yuan, what happened? Why so suddenly?" I asked him.
He didn't reply to me. He was just seeing me, just like memorizing some chapter of any book. Then after a minute he hugged me.
I smiled and said, "Morning hug without asking? Can I know the reason of this?" I asked him.
He again didn't reply, just hugged me a bit tightly. It seemed like he was holding something in him, something that he wasn't able to say, but I could feel it. So I broke the hug and looked at him—really looked at him—and I asked him what happened to you. He again didn't reply, but he had forgotten that his expressive eyes would not support him, and I could read it from his eyes—his most expressive eyes that never tell a lie, which reflect all his inner emotions or whatever is going inside him.
Then after a pause of a few seconds, he finally spoke and said, "I just came here and talked to director Li, and after having a conversation with him I got to know… I got to know that the shooting of this project will come to its end and we'll wrap up the shoot within three days."
"So what's wrong in this?" I asked him.
He got a little bit shocked hearing me saying this. He exhaled sharply and said, "You are asking what's wrong in this? There is everything wrong in this. I… I won't be able to see you. I won't be able to meet you," he said.
"How? Our shooting is going to be ended, not our relationship. We'll definitely meet and see each other, but it doesn't mean that you have to affect your career because of this. You are going to have a brand shoot within a few days, and then you need to do dubbing also for your other dramas. Then you need to go to some brand events also, and then you have to do some variety show shooting also. You have to do all these things this month—you are so busy, and I really want you to do everything like you always do, as I don't want to become the barrier in your career," I said to him.
"You are not a barrier—you are the moonlight of my life which showers all its light on me only," he said.
"And you silly girl, you haven't changed—you have just memorized my whole March schedule of events, shootings, and everything," he said while smiling a little.
I smiled mischievously and said, "Yes of course. Why do you always forget that before your girlfriend I am your little fangirl first, and this is just all the things that a little fangirl does."
"You are so—" he was about to say something, but without letting him complete that sentence I asked him, "So what?"
He smiled and said, "You are so mine."
I smiled back and said, "I have always been, even when you didn't know about my existence in this world."
"So the shooting of our project is going to be ended, not Zhao Shiza and Xu Yuan's story—it will continue."
He smiled. "Sure, it will," he said.
"You know what, Yuan, this project is really special for me. Because of this I am able to meet you, which I have never thought. If they didn't come to do the auditions for the female lead of this project in our university, then I wouldn't be able to meet you ever," I said to him.
"Some things are destined, just like your fated heart with me," he said.
"And you know what, you should be thankful to Wang Ruoxi because she was the one who didn't just insist me—in fact she pushed me inside the audition room."
He smiled and said, "It's not her—it's just our paths that wanted to collide with each other."
"Oh, you are not even letting her have credit for it—you are too bad, Yuan," I said while smiling.
"How could I even give her credit for something which is just made and meant to be mine? How could I?" he said while tucking the strand of my hair behind my ears.
I smiled and said, "Yuan, don't you think all these months of us being together went too fast?" I asked him.
"Yes, of course. With you, my time just flew away," he said.
"You know what, Yuan, back in my high school time and even till now, whenever I feel any kind of discomfort or instability in me, I always close my eyes and imagine you—you standing in front of me and saying to me relax, calm down, I am with you, nothing wrong is gonna happen to you, I am always with you, I live inside you, I am here, you don't need to worry. You just kept saying these words to me in the way I imagined you at that time. It's just like a silent prayer whispering into my ears in your voice," I said to him.
"Did I affect you that much?" he asked me while looking at me.
I smiled and said, "You know what, Yuan, if calmness has a face then it would definitely be yours. You are the whole definition of my calmness. You are whom my Mr heart really wants. You are whom my Mr heart craves for. You are the calmness of me in my chaotic life. You are the one who takes me to another world where there are just you and me—a world which might not exist in reality but it exists in my imagination. And trust me, you are giving me the power to imagine the things that are never gonna happen, but still I imagine them because of you. If they really don't happen, then at least I imagined them in myself and lived them happily—even if it's just for the sake of my imagination," I said.
He held my hand and said, "I promise—I promise to you that whatever imaginary life you imagined with me, I'll make every bit of that imagination into your reality—our reality. It's my promise," he said while still holding my hands.
I smiled and said, "Yuan, I believe that you surely will, as whatever my Yuan says, he always does it. And I really love to witness when my imaginary world really falls into my real world and I'll be able to live it without a fear that when I open my eyes it will break and fall down."
"It will not. I will never let it fall," he said while cupping my face in both of his hands.
And this is it—this is how we have shared our feelings together with each other, as this chapter of our life is coming to an end. And before going to the new chapter, we are giving it a proper goodbye. I really don't know what my life's next chapter holds for me, but I only know one thing now—which is, now I only have him…