The night of Shanghai is getting colder and colder, darker and darker. Xu Yuan is still hugging me. I don't know what, but I can feel something—like a kind of fear in this. But what fear? Fear of what? For whom? I don't know anything, but my head is feeling heavy.
"Xu Yuan… please leave me," I said and start pushing him away from me, and I really did. I broke the hug and pushed him away.
"Xu… Xu Yuan, I am going to my home. You should also go to your home. It's getting very late. Bye bye, see you tomorrow." I waved both my hands and then started moving away from that area.
Xu Yuan is still in shock and said to himself while rubbing his forehead continuously, "You silly girl… you aren't even able to stand properly and now you're asking me to leave. How can I leave you here in this condition? No no, I can't." He starts running towards me, but it's too late—I have already landed myself in another fight.
"Give me your snack," I said. "Give me, otherwise I'll snatch all the packets you are holding."
The little boy starts crying and complains to his mother while crying, "Màma, màma, gēgē is taking my snacks from me!"
His mother came out of the grocery store from where they were buying their stuff. This little boy's mother is coming towards me with rage and held my arm.
"Why are you shouting at my son?" she asked me in full rage.
"I want his snacks," I replied while pointing towards the snack that the little boy is holding. He immediately hides it in the bag the moment I point towards it.
His mother takes a deep slow sigh and said, "Listen young girl, you can go buy the snack by yourself. Why are you creating a scene?"
"Because I want this packet only… the one he is eating." I again pointed towards that packet.
I slightly lose my balance again, but the mother of that child supports my back and helps me stand properly. The moment she comes near me to support me, she gets to know that I am drunk.
She looks at me quite shockingly and said, "Young girl… you are drunk, so much drunk. Who made you drunk? Oh god… this young girl couldn't even handle it." She said to herself, "Wait, wait… just come with me, I'll help you."
She made me sit over a bench there and takes the packet of snacks from her son's hand and gives it to me.
She said to her son, "I'll buy you more snacks. Just give this one to jiějiě, she needs it more than you. Go inside the grocery store and start taking the things you want for your school project. I'll come in 10 minutes."
Her son, that little kiddo, went inside the grocery store which is right in front of us.
Then she turned towards me and asked, "Tell me girl, where are your parents? Are you alone here? Do you remember any phone number of your family members?"
I nodded and said "No," while looking down at the ground.
Then she asked, "Where is your phone? Give it to me."
I opened my bag's zip but start playing with the zip from right to left, left to right. Then she herself takes my phone from my bag, but it's no use as the phone is switched off. She puts it back and said, "Let me call police. Only they can help you."
Meanwhile, Xu Yuan is running over streets to find me restlessly and saying to himself, "Please be fine… please don't land yourself in another trouble, please please…"
Then he sees a glimpse of me far away sitting on the bench.
"So here you are, silly girl…" he said, then starts moving towards me while taking out his black coloured face mask from his pocket and puts it on. "I must make sure no one notices me, otherwise a huge crowd will gather here… and she is not in a state to handle that."
"Excuse me," Xu Yuan said to the woman.
She stops dialing the police and looks at him.
"She is mine," he said, going to hold me so he can carry me on his back.
But she stopped him and asked suspiciously, "Who are you to her? Do you really think you just came here suddenly and said 'she is yours' and I'll believe you? Am I looking like a kid to you? This girl was all alone when I found her. She was not able to stand properly. And you came suddenly like a hero and said she is yours. How do I believe you?"
"Believe it or not, she is with me. It's up to you. Your opinion doesn't bother me," he said to her.
"Stop here. I won't give this girl to you. I know you boys… you just saw a drunk girl here and came over and said she is with you!" she said.
Xu Yuan closed his eyes for a second, turned towards her and said, "She is my girlfriend. I need to take her home safely. She needs me… please."
"Aiyaa, you should've told me earlier, young boy! Sorry, I won't interfere. And one more thing—take care of your girl. What if I didn't see her? She could've landed herself in big trouble. Just take care of her." She went inside the grocery store where her son was waiting.
Xu Yuan turns around towards me and starts picking me up on his back.
I started saying, "Xu Yuan, I am too heavy, you can't handle me, let me down…"
But he said, "Enough, Miss Zhao. Finger on your lips."
I obeyed him and put my finger on my lips. Then he properly took me up on his back. My legs lock around his waist, my hands around his neck, and my chin rests on his shoulder. He starts moving while holding me.
"Do you really think I am that weak that I can't handle your weight and will end up hurting myself?"
I nodded my head in no.
"Say something," he said.
But how could I say anything? He told me to put finger on lips.
He sees my face and says, "Ok ok, now you can put down your finger and speak."
Then I said, "I am not saying that you are weak. I just don't want you to hurt yourself."
He keeps walking while holding me and listening to everything.
"I just want you to be fine and healthy always," I said.
"But why does it matter to you? Why am I important to you?" he asked.
But I didn't reply. Instead, I touched his collarbone slightly, with a soft delicate touch to something precious.
He tilts his head a little.
"Are you trying to tickle me, hm?" he asked.
Instead of answering his question, I asked, "Is it still hurting?"
He gets a little shocked and said, "No." But then he immediately realises what I am asking and said, "Do you… know about it?"
"Hm," I said. "That you fell in the bathroom in late January and broke your collarbone, and there's some kind of plate and bolts inside it. I don't know it properly, but it's placed here… before the surgery took place. But… you still shoot for your drama series and work so hard. You didn't let this injury become the reason to step back."
Xu Yuan got a little shocked and said, "How do you know about it in so much detail?" He holds me more tightly so I won't slip.
I smiled a little while closing my eyes and said, "Don't you know? After all, you are the Xu Yuan. Such a big superstar. Your news and updates are everywhere on Weibo. Everyone is praising you so much. You know what your fans are saying?"
"What?" he asked.
"They are saying their Xu Yuan is so strong and dedicated towards his work… you are strong like a wolf. I don't know how you bear that pain. I hope you never suffer from such pains again in the future."
Xu Yuan smiled hearing this and murmured to himself:
"Why do I always feel you are one of my fans… but I don't know if what I'm thinking is wrong or right. There's no clear evidence. But at least today I get to know that I matter to you… maybe, maybe I affect you. The way you are speaking today, it feels like you are feeling the same pain inside you. I don't know what… but you silly girl… I have a strong feeling you are pretending something else, but inside you are something different. You are a locked mysterious book that never opens to anybody… but still, still I wish one day I'll get the passcode of that mysterious book you are protectively locking inside yourself."
I shake his shoulder slightly and ask, "Tell me… does it still hurt?"
He smiles while looking forward and said, "No, it doesn't."
And like this, we keep moving on the road and finally reach his car and then…