Life started to gotten tough. Just an unanswered question kept popping my head, why those all happened? I even forgot why i died, how came i have to live in somebody and its life. Humans stingy behavior's made me feel more nuisance like i want to kill every of them. I was so done with the character of being someone so good to others, toward them. while it insanely making my life more worse. Their character sucks. Though i didn't remember about anything of my past life then but i were pretty sure about one thing that i smoothly hate about these earthlings.
The feeling of loosing prides sure feels pathetic. The state of mine made me laugh at myself. I started to changing my attitude, ignoring peoples, talking less with her families too. Actually i couldn't hold it for long.
At school i gotten that rude that people never dared to even ask for anything. Teachers started to set a blind eye for me. The memory of this girls made me slap her hard for being so soft and good toward those trashy peoples. The scars of bulling and the pale face of giving up in life started to become ruthless, emotionless and heartless one. Sure peoples thought makes a huge changes in appearance.
A day of staying home, the younger brother were in an incident. Accidently crashed his forehead and shaded blood in the hole living room, i donno why started to feel dizzy losing my mind that time. People rushing for him and here i my head started to spinning like the whole world is upside down, again that slamming head pain. like f**k this body was dragging my soul for vanishing it and then i passed out at bed. Sure people were busy for him let alone keeping me in conscious, they forgot to stare at me and that was my biggest help.
I slept for straight a day thoroughly. And there i remembered every thing, though a bit hazy but enough to return my memory back.
I woke up and seen the mother were calling the girl name. The dream made me felt now more hesitant to live here. I just made an excuse and rushed through the restroom. Tears came up instantly as i seen the face in Mirror. started to having a heart pain.
After a while i kept myself telling, those all are just a mere dream of sickness. Nothing were real but couldn't comfort because those felt so real like those really are my memory. I still tried to ignore the pact but it was just a zero second relief.
The mother called and i came out from washroom. she prepared dinner but heavens sake after a bite i threw up. Felt like i were putted some ashes on my mouth. then night came but my hunger gone limitless. I were craving something, like some liquid. then i said out loud,
"Plasma"
So, Am i craving for blood. But this body it have flesh and bloods. I can't.
I felt like the ground is falling apart. And just for make it sure i bite my lip hard and suck up the blood and i sucked it until it dried up. I felt are those my taste in hunger or its originally my taste bud immune? I still couldn't believe. I kept questioning myself,
Am I a monster now? But that cant make any changes in this body because of my past life. What is happening here. Maybe these all are a mere dream, i am just dreaming that's all.
I slapped my cheek hard and my bad luck those all were real.
I screamed like a maniac at my room, though it was a midnight so everyone sleeping tight. But then i laughed my heart out like are those all for real.
In an instant surprisingly my mind automatically reciting something, straight from my soul. And a clear vision right in front of me,
I am calligraphing a memorable page with a heavy heart. An official court table, warrior special clothe with blood wetted black sleeve, just sitting with a unrequired heart writing, The same words, same meaning;
Something like a Rhyme, which kept reciting my soul. Just then before i do forgot it, i wrote it down to a diary.
The more i have to endure, The more ihave to find the cure .
While my cure is not with me, how may i supposed to live as me.
I am waiting for you like i am fishing, but it became already dawn while i forgot about my wishing.
No matter how much i tie you up with laces, you always captured through my lashes.
Countless time i watched that dream as much, still forgetting you're face with a pity of such.
The more i wanted to clearly remember the dream, The upset heart squeezing tears to make it scream.
The more i am enduring all hate, The more i am accepting my fate.
Never smiled Never tried.
The more i am cutting my ties, The more i see roaming lies.
The more i am stopping to take care, The more this world getting unfair.
Once i soaked in my loving rain, now it only reassembles all of my pain.
I am getting more driven by our past, while waiting for meeting you to die as fast.
The more my memory bell the rings, The more it reminds me how much those human stinks.
I also have the power to destroy, while laughing out when seeing it with joy.
How dare they treat me as they known me, while my ability and my power limit never ever shown me.
Why fate let others to snatch, Like which they should never dare to catch.
While i were spending my life as readden page, But you caught me with you're soften gaze.
I hesitate to find someone in the darkest dare, while i found my soulmate who kept me with the sweetest care.
You think you just died for me, while i made myself tied for you.
I never even loved myself, until i realize i don't live for me myself.
You died for me we know it both, while other making things up like we show it truth.
Fly through the history i were ruff and bad, Cause i was a general don't know to be sad.
Countless battle made me bare all pain, because i am the one who dare to drain.
My solders died like dried petal's, but i had to continue those fired battles.
How a cold hearted who never lose, can accept deities unfair drools.
The realization of all my life fighting for good, While other treated me and you as all their mood.
They think they won? By making my anger more than a ton!
Here i made the history of that flood, by making the feud with their blood.
They think I will scream for changing the history, While i see it out as my victory.
The more i am killing those evil, The more i am awakening my inside devil.
I am not a psycho who will kill them for hype, It's them who killed the jade of my life.
Here i am finding you at night in dark, Because i kill at day countless shark.
You know i will find you, even it cost my life for you.
No matter when i will be back, Neither the fight with fate will ruin in a slack.
It would be a shame, If everything remains same.
thousand date of melting snow passing in a chance, because i didn't seen you're charming glance.
few people made me slightest joy, while the vision of you're made them destroy.
I recall that unknown surprise you bring, It still chained up in my neck like a string.
No matter how much courage i gather to earn, it seems like there was never my turn.
It may looked like i don't do any care, but the fire inside me brew others to scare.
After the day of you're bloody rains, The rain keeps visible my deepest stains.
I showed innocence, when there were no violence.
We lived for each other we hidden it inside, It would be a shame again if we let it slide.
I will be back for you countless time, Even if i have to make Thousand Rhyme.
The memory of that wasn't which one i dreamed. It's completely different one. So which one I should believe, Who I was? What's my name? and Who was He?