Part 21 – Beneath the Surface
Jordy started her day earlier than usual. She got up at 4 a.m. and went for a jog. It was still dark out, but she figured the creeps had to sleep sometime, so she took her chances. She did about three miles before heading back home. It was 4:30.
She took a long shower—an everything shower. Her skin was as smooth as the day she was born. Her hair was a vibrant pink now, left messy on purpose. She didn't want to look like she was trying too hard. She slid a couple of hair ties onto her wrist in case she changed her mind later.
Wrapped in a towel, she stepped into her bedroom and pulled out an assortment of lotions and perfumes. She picked one that was still unopened—a gift from Deon a few years ago. She cracked it open and took a sniff. It was pleasant, subtle. She mixed it with a citrus-scented lotion and rubbed herself down twice.
Next came the underwear drawer, though she couldn't make a choice. She decided to pick out her outfit first.
She landed on baggy blue sweats and a white halter top. The sweats would be hot, so she opted out of underwear altogether. Besides, she was pretty sure she had a few spares at Deon's place. She could always put some on there.
By the time she finished getting ready, it was 5:30 a.m. She made herself a light breakfast, then headed out the door. It was a short walk to Deon's, and she figured she'd take her time.
She reached his door by 6 a.m., slipped in the key, and eased it open.
All the lights were off. The place was completely silent. The usual clutter was gone—the clutter she'd created and always made him clean up.
She found Deon sprawled out on the couch, broom still in his hand. Poor guy must've fallen asleep cleaning. Again.
She took the broom from his hand, trying not to wake him. After returning it to the cleaning closet, she came back and lay down next to him on the couch.
He looked at peace. She found herself studying his face for a while before she caught herself.
"Yo, Deon. It's time to wake up," she said, trying not to sound sweet.
He shuffled a bit, but his eyes didn't open.
She was going to call his name again, but that probably wouldn't work. Instead, she leaned over him, pressed her lips against his, and gave a long kiss, forcing her tongue into his mouth.
It wasn't long before he was responding.
The kiss only lasted a few moments, but Jordy felt like it had been hours.
He finally opened his eyes and sat up when she pulled away.
"Damn, Jordy. Is that how we say good morning?" He stretched and yawned. "Wait—is it even morning?" He glanced around. It was still dark outside.
"It will be soon," she said. "I had an early start and figured, since I have a key, I'd just let myself in."
"Okay, but why wake me up?"
"To hang."
He flopped back down on the couch. "I'm gonna catch some more Zs. You do whatever you're gonna do."
"Dude, get up. Let's watch some anime and cook something together."
"We can do that in an hour," he mumbled, eyes still closed.
"Can I sweeten the deal?"
"Not really. Sleep over everything right now."
"You're such a toddler. Take a nap later."
He cracked one eye open. "Aight, I'm up. But I'm not cooking anything."
"I knew you'd say that. It's fine. I'll cook, you just watch," she said, heading toward the kitchen.
"Why're you here so early anyway?" he called after her.
"I told you, I had an early start."
"Yeah? Is that why you smell like a human aphrodisiac? Because 'you had an early start'?" He rubbed his eyes.
"It's not for you. Girls just like to do this sometimes."
"Never thought it was for me," he said.
Her face twitched. Hearing that irritated her.
"Why not? I mean I coulda been trying to seduce you."
"Two reason. 1: you don't need to seduce me. We have a just tell me kind relationship."
She groaned in agreement.
"And 2, you're out of my league."
"Beg your pardon?"
"It's the 2 up, 2 down rule."
"What?" She said looking utterly lost.
"I never told you about this?"
"No."
"Okay check this out. So I'm a 5 right?
"Huh?"
"And you, you're a 9. Easy."
She blushed. "The fuck. Thanks. But what're you saying." Her words were rushed.
"So what I'm saying is. A girl like you wouldn't go for a guy like me. On my best day I could probably get a 7 to hear me out, but a 9. No way."
She looked at him in disbelief.
"Deon. You've been having sex with me for over a decade. What kind of math are you using."
"What we have is platonic. It's basically an extension of masturbation. You use me and I sue you. It's symbiotic." He said.
"I can't exactly argue with your point, but I'm still lost. If I'm a 9 and I'm still sleeping with you, a 5 the. That must mean you can get someone out of that 2 point range."
"Only if you have something extra. To continue using you and I, we aren't dating. Why aren't we dating? Because you know you could do better." He said matter of factly. Looking her in the eyes.
Her chest tightened.
"O..okay." She stumbled. "If that's how you feel, what's with this new girl? Amina. She's a baddie right? But she's interested in you. Or is she right within your range?
His face lit up. "Nah. Amina is a 10 for me. Mind body and spirit."
"Okay do how can a 5 get a 10 if they can't even get me, a 9. Educate me."
"With her, I have extra." He said casually.
It stung her a bit. "Go on bro."
"When I met her, I felt like I'd taken my first real breath. Or rather like I found out I'd be breathing incorrectly my whole life, and now when I can't be near her, I notice the difference."
Jordy took in his words before speaking. She was careful about her tone. "Okay. But that's your side. How do you know she reciprocates?"
"She said it. Not just to me, but to Sierra too."
"Okay I get it. But that brings up another question. If you firmly believe a 5 couldn't get a 10 why aren't you so stuck on Sierra?"
"That's simple. My heart just loves that girl." His gaze was somewhere distant, but she felt the impact of every word he spoke.
"You could have a harem." She mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Man you have a lot of extra."
"Huh?"
"All that shit you just said. All of it, made my heart skip and it wasn't even about me. You're my bro, but in another life I'd definitely call you hubby material."
"I'm just a guy Jordy. There's nothing special about me."
"You're especially fucking stupid."
"Am I?"
She didn't respond the question was rhetorical. She chopped vegetables aggressively. As he watched. The tension that should have been in the air wasn't there. She was upset. He knew she was upset. But it didn't matter. She knew he meant what he said. He knew she disagreed. But neither knew why.
What they did know was that speaking out within that in this moment could change everything. Neither wanted that either. So they didn't speak. She cooked and he watched.
I leaned back into the couch as the smell of spices and grilled onions filled the room.
"You're going to make a great wife to someone." He said.
"Shut up Deon." Her tone had more edge to it than intended.
"I know you're mad, but I don't understand why."
"I don't appreciate you shitting on my friend."
"I'm not though. I'm just telling you how I see myself in this world vs the people around me."
"Your value is higher than that Deon. You're not a 5."
"A 5 isn't an insult Jordy. It's right in the middle. It's average."
"It just pisses me off. You act like you're just some ordinary guy."
"I am."
"And that's fucking extraordinary Deon!"
"Rice ball in a fruit's basket." He said.
She didn't answer him. He loved his anime references. She just quietly prepared a meal for him. He watched the entire time.
When the food was ready she sat it down in front of him and switched on the TV.
"Thanks for the food. What're we watching."
"Something with sub titles." She said.
He sighed and took a breath. "I'm sorry. I'll be better to myself."
She was crying. "You know I hate when you talk like that. Like you don't matter."
"Nah. It's not like that. I know I matter. I just think ultimately I'm an average guy."
"Okay, fine. But do you have to dismiss all the good things people say about you with that overbearing logic."
"It's not my intent." He said taking a bite of the food. "This is delicious."
"I think I burned it some. I was distracted. You don't have to eat it."
"Really? The burned bits are the best part. The little flaws give it that extra something." He said half smiling.
"I don't get you." She said voice trembling. "You can be so good to others, but you can't give yourself any grace?"
"I am. I took a long time to build myself to this point after being humbled by life. Being too up or too down can both be bad."
"Do you at least believe you deserve love?"
"I don't know if I deserve it. But I want it." He said honestly.
"That's a start."
"Your smell is super distracting though."
"You're just a horn dog."
"You might be right."
"Need my help?"
He thought about it for a second. "Nah. Just start the show."
"It's a standing offer."
"I'm aware. But i don't know, in the moment it doesn't feel right. Like I want to. A lot. You look good l, smell good, but I feel like if we do it now something would snap."
"Well okay." Jordy said sifting through shows.
She felt it too. Something was different right now. She didn't want to have sex right now. She wanted to make love. To let him use her body to find his value. But that was out of bounds for their relationship.
Why now? After 10 plus years of this comfortable love, why now. Why did her body want more now?
She glanced over at him. He was watching her. She looked back at the TV. She couldn't decide on a show. Because she wasn't looking for one.
It finally clicked for her. She could never make a relationship stick, because she wasn't looking for one. Nothing could measure up to what she already has .
She glanced at Deon again. And her heart skipped. And she was thankful that he wasn't looking this time.
The opening notes of the anime played softly, but neither of them was really watching.