We walked home slowly, the streets almost empty, lit by those tall lamps that left everything a little golden. Rafael walked beside me, so close our hands brushed. Sometimes I thought it was by accident. Sometimes… that it wasn't.
I still didn't understand how a day that had everything to become a disaster ended like this. After everything that happened last night, I was absolutely sure I'd never be able to look Rafael in the eye again. And yet… here we were. Side by side… after the strangest, most vulnerable, most human day we had ever shared.
Then he sped up a few steps and stopped right in front of me.
I had to stop too.
Rafael turned fully, blocking my path. His gaze swept over my face like he was seeing every detail for the first time. And something inside me locked in place. My heart jumped into my throat so fast I almost heard it.
Before I could say anything, he started.
— Helena… I need to apologize.
My hands immediately got sweaty. He never started any conversation like that.
— I'm sorry for… for holding your hand and not having the courage to keep holding it.
He ran his hand across the back of his neck, like the words burned.
— And I'm sorry for the harsh things I said. I was just… trying to push you away because I thought I wasn't enough for you.
My stomach twisted in a way that almost hurt.
Rafael took another step toward me.
— I tried not to feel anything, tried to keep my distance… but I couldn't. Every time you get close, my heart reacts before I do. I almost lose control. And I know that sooner or later, I'm going to lose it completely.
— I like you, Helena. — His gaze dipped to my mouth for a second, then came back to my eyes as if he were fighting a silent war with his own body.
— The things you told me today… — He swallowed hard. — That I'm strong, that I do what's right. I want to be that man… the man you saw. I want to stop running from life… I want to start believing I can live well… with you.
My chest burned. My body took half a step forward. I didn't even think — suddenly I was already in his arms. The heat of Rafael's chest wrapped around me in a shock that made my legs tremble.
He held me so tight I could feel his heart beating against mine, in the same rhythm. His hand slid across my back in a firm, urgent, almost desperate movement.
We stayed there, in the middle of the empty sidewalk.
The way he held me… the warm tension in his breath near my neck…
Everything in him said the same thing:
he was running toward me.
When the hug finally loosened, it wasn't because I wanted it to. It was because my body needed air. But he was still close… too close. His jaw tight, I could feel his fingers trembling, as if the hug had shaken him just as much as it had shaken me.
His gaze fell to my mouth again. This time it lingered.Long enough to make my knees betray whatever stability I had left.
I felt his body lean a little toward mine, almost imperceptible, but enough to set me on fire inside.
That's when my courage vanished… disappeared.And the sweet kind of fear, the one born from intensity, took its place.
— It's already… late. — My voice came out weak, trembling. — I think… we should go home.
I felt him inhale deeply, as if trying to pull every impulsive instinct back inside his chest.
His hand slid down from my arm slowly and, when it reached my hand, he simply… held it.We walked home in silence, hand in hand.
When we crossed the gate, I stopped… looked at him.
My knees were still shaking. And Rafael… Rafael was looking at me as if I were something he'd waited for his whole life.
— Good night… — I murmured, trying not to trip over my own words. — I… I'm going up.
I started turning toward the stairs, but his hand — still holding mine — tugged lightly, just enough to make me look back.
He didn't say anything at first… he just looked at me.
His gaze lasted a few seconds…
— Good night, Helena. — he said quietly.
He let go of my hand slowly, and I went up the stairs with my heart completely out of rhythm, as if his embrace had been stamped into me.