Reed's Pov
The ride back to my place was way too quiet and suffocating. The streetlights cut across Nicholas's face in flashes and I could feel the distance between us stretch wider with every passing second. God, i fucked up royally and I didn't even know how and where to start fixing it.
Reina would've had a field day if she saw me now me, sitting in my own damn truck terrified of losing one man, i could almost hear her laughing her ass off.
"I don't expect you to forgive me," I said finally breaking the silence "i don't expect anything from you." He looked away, as if he couldn't stand to meet my eyes and that hurt worse than any punch I'd ever taken.
"What I do need," I continued, "is for you to hear me out. "I never stopped needing you Nicholas. Not once not in the eight damn years."
"Reed…" His voice was warning, almost pleading.
"I'll prove it to you," I said, the words coming out roughly. "However long it takes. But I'm not walking away again not from you."
His hands curled into fists, and for a second, I thought he might swing them at me or walk out right then and there but he didn't and I was grateful for that.
When we finally pulled up to my building, the tension followed us inside. My apartment wasn't anything fancy, it has bare walls, clean lines, an olive drab couch and framed medals I didn't even look at anymore. The furniture was solid, functional and military neat. Everything had its place, everything except for well, me.
Cooper my dog trotted over, his tail wagging and it's claws clicking against the wood floor. "Hey, buddy," I murmured, crouching down to scratch behind his ears. "Who's a good boy?"
Nicholas lingered by the door, his jacket half-off. "You've got someone looking after him when you're deployed?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said, "Neighbor's kid's comes by, walks him, and keeps the place from feeling… empty." He nodded and wandered into the living room. Cooper padded after him his tail still going. I followed them slowly, watching him stop in front of the big canvas hanging on the wall. Not much to look at just chaotic streaks of black and crimson crashing into each other, a mess of color that somehow made sense to me.
"I did that after I lost a friend in battle," I said quietly. "He died right in front of me."
Nicholas turned to me then, something flickering in his eyes. "Reed…" he started but he didn't finish his sentence. He understood that kind of loss losing a companion and a piece of yourself you'd never get back. Then he moved desperately and his mouth crashed against mine. Every wall I'd built over the years cracked wide open, and everything in me just… broke loose.
I kissed him back like I'd been starving for it and maybe I had been. He grabbed my shirt, pulling me closer until I could feel his heartbeat pounding against my chest. I pushed back, my hand at the back of his neck, dragging him into me.
We stumbled, bumping into the couch, fighting for control but neither of us willing to give it up. His breath was harsh against my skin; mine wasn't any steadier. His hand slid up my back claiming me.
The sound of his phone ringing cut through the silence and his mouth tore from mine, our foreheads still touching. For a second neither of us moved, My hand lingered at his waist before I forced it to fall away, my fingers curling once before I let go. He answered the phone without looking at me,
"I was in the middle of something important." I couldn't help the way my mouth curved at that. Important. That's what he called this whatever this was.
I didn't need to hear the voice on the other end to know it was Greg. The amusement and the faint sound of others in the background, it was obvious. And the way he said, 'That what we're calling it now?' made something twist low in my stomach.
I leaned back against the wall, watching him try not to react. The little tells; his jaw flexing, thumb rubbing the edge of his phone and the faint flush at the base of his throat. He probably didn't even realize how readable he was when he was trying to hide. I took Cooper to his mini bed as he laid there to sleep.
By the time the call ended, he looked ready to throw the phone across the room but he didn't, he stood there, exhaling hard before slipping it into his pocket. I stayed where I was my arms crossed pretending to be unaffected, but the truth was, I could still taste him, still feel the tremor that ran through him before he pulled away.
"You should go," I said finally, and he looked up at me,
"Should," he echoed. "Doesn't mean I will." Of course he wouldn't. He never did what made sense. That was half the problem and the reason I couldn't stay away.
I pushed off the wall closing the distance between us until I could feel the heat vibrating between our bodies again.
"Then don't," I said quietly.
"Do you wanna give me a tour?" he asked our of nowhere.
"of course. Where are my manners," I muttered, because it was easier to hide behind sarcasm than admit what I wanted. I led him through the hallway, pointing things out just to fill the silence. "And this," I said, stepping into the last room, "is the guest room." I cleared my throat, suddenly too aware of how small the space felt with him standing in it. "This is… awkward." My eyes found everything but his.
"I like seeing you flustered."
That earned him a glare that should've been a warning but probably wasn't. I liked the way he made my control slip, the way every damn line I'd drawn between us blurred the second he looked at me like that.