Kai bent down by the park bench, leaning on his knees to catch his breath.
"Great work today," Bella said, drying sweat off her neck with a towel. "Are you starting to enjoy it? You really hated running when we started."
"Huh?" Kai grunted absently, catching a glimpse of a woman running past him, then did a double take, his jaw dropping.
The woman reacted similarly, her face contorting with both confusion and recognition as she glanced at him and stopped in her tracks. She took out a wireless earbud, her brows furrowing, a nervous smile on her lips.
"I asked, are you—"
"Kai?" The woman spoke over the dog-girl.
"Maria?" He straightened.
Her smile widened, no longer nervous. "Oh my God, I can't believe it's you."
Hesitantly, he smiled back. It had been so long since he last saw her. "Ah… yeah, it-it's good to see you," she was as he remembered, with flowing brown hair, beautiful green eyes, and a slender, lithe figure. "You look great."
"You too, Kai Bear," she giggled and patted his belly. "I barely recognized you; you look like a whole new person."
His heart leapt with joy. "Thanks, I, ah… I'm working hard at it."
"Well, whatever you are doing, it's paying off," she gave Bella a glance. "Are you—" she looked back at Kai. "Is she your… girlfriend?"
"Ah… no, no." He blushed. The fact that she even considered it might be possible for someone like him to be in a relationship with someone who looked like Bella made his head spin with excitement. "She's my coach."
"I'm Bella," the dog-girl's tail wagged. "Are you a friend of Mr. Holloway?"
"We went to high-school together." She nodded. "Honestly, I don't think I could have survived it without him."
"Please," Kai's face reddened even more. "She is exaggerating. I'm sure you would have done fine without me."
"No," she crossed her arms behind her back and bit her lip. "I really wouldn't."
His mouth hung open, his heart racing.
Her phone dinged, and she pulled it out to look. "Sorry, I gotta go," she returned it to her back pocket. "But we should hang out sometime, maybe grab a coffee? Catch up a little?"
"Ah… yeah, I'd love that."
"Fantastic," she gave him another smile. "You have my number, so stay in touch, yeah?" She ran off, taking a path leading out of the park. "Cya later, Kai Bear."
"Cya… Mari." He looked after her wistfully.
***
"You should have seen her, Vira. She was amazing, exactly like she was in high-school." Kai took a peek at the fairy over his monitor, then continued to draw. "And she said we should meet up, which could be considered a date, right? I mean… she must be single, otherwise, you wouldn't have arranged for us to meet."
"Uh…" Vira stood in her human-form, posing with one hand on her hip while the other held Lightgrave over her shoulder, and a bead of sweat ran down her brow. She hadn't arranged the meeting—she had planned to look into the girl after he mentioned her in his story but hadn't gotten around to it yet. This presented a couple of problems: the first was that telling him the truth might erode his confidence and result in him fumbling the meeting. The second was that the fairy godmother didn't know anything about this Maria woman—she could be a harlot, like Catherine, or… she could be someone good for him. Was he ready for that?
"So… when are you going to call her?" she asked.
"Ah… that's the thing, I'm not sure. I heard you should wait three days before calling, otherwise, it makes you look desperate. Besides, I still don't know where I should take her. She said coffee, but… what if I take her somewhere more romantic instead? Take the initiative?
"Then, again… if it isn't really a date, I'd be making a fool outta myself…
"On the other hand, if I just take her to some boring coffee shop, she might friend-zone me again—and I can't let that happen." He tilted his head back and groaned. "Ugh, I don't know what to do."
"Just be yourself," the advice came out of the fairy's mouth before she could think it through, and she winced.
"Gee, thanks, Mom," Kai snorted.
"It's good advice," she scowled. Generally speaking, she added in her heart. But maybe not for him, not right now.
"Why am I even asking you?"
"What do you mean, 'you?'"
"You've never been in a relationship, what would you know about dating?"
"I've guided many heroes to their beloved ladies, all of whom found true love and Happily Ever After."
"Sure, it is easy to fall in love with a hero who just saved your life, but there is no villain holding Maria captive or dragon I can swoop in and rescue her from. And even if there were, modern women deal with their own problems; they don't need guys to solve them—another reason why chivalry is dead and buried."
Vira furrowed her brows, pursed her lips, clenched her fists, and spread her wings. The Oathless really knew how to make her blood boil.
"I'll ask Lance next time I see him," Kai nodded to himself. "He'll know what to do…"
***
"Just be yourself, man," Lance said absently.
Kai clicked his tongue. Vira's laughter buzzed in his ear.
"Com'on, you must have better advice than that," the Oathless sighed. "If being myself would have worked, I'd have had a girlfriend by now."
"Would you?"
"Yeah, sure I—"
"Hold on. Take a minute. Really think about it… have you been yourself? Your real, genuine self? Or were you pretending to be something you're not?"
Kai leaned back on the bench at the dog park and thought, his eyes wandering after Bella as she ran around in her animal-form. The more he considered it, the more he realized that he hadn't been himself.
Even back in high-school, there were times when he hid himself from Maria, hoping she would like him.
"What if she hates me?"
"Remember what I told you the first time we met?"
"About defining your ideal self, and striving to become it?"
"Yeah, how's that going?"
Kai spread his arms wide, showing off his new figure. "Isn't it obvious?"
Lance smirked. "I can see you got in shape—"
"And found a job."
"Great, that's wonderful, Kai," the life-coach smiled, crossed his legs, and turned on the bench to fully face Kai. "Now let me ask you this: who are you?"
The Oathless blinked. "Kai Holloway?"
"That's your name, yes… but who are you?"
"I'm… a digital artist?"
"That's your profession… but…" He trailed off.
"Huh…" Kai stopped to think. It felt like a riddle. "I'm…" he frowned. "Oathless."
"Oathless?" Lance's brows furrowed. "What does that mean?"
"It means I never had a girlfriend."
"And you think that defines you?"
Kai opened his mouth, then closed it, and shook his head in frustration. "Who are you, then?"
"Great question," Lance nodded. "And a difficult one to answer, isn't it? Makes it really hard to 'be yourself' when you don't know who you are."
"Now you are just messing with me."
Lance chuckled, then thought for a long moment. "I am… or, at least, I try to be someone who's brave enough to pursue his dreams and who can encourage others to do the same.
"At my work, there's that moment when I help someone break out of their shell and step out into the world despite their fear. Whether they succeed or fail doesn't really matter at that point, because they have—sometimes for the first time ever—taken control over their lives instead of letting it happen to them. You can see it in their eyes, that sense of purpose, the belief that their lives matter, and that they can change it.
"That moment is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and knowing I had some small part in getting them there makes me feel like my own life has meaning." He put his hand on his chest. "I live for that moment."
Kai pursed his lips, remaining silent, an anxious mix of awe and cynicism turning in his stomach. Awe at the clear passion Lance had, and cynicism at his naive optimism. How could they not care whether they succeeded or failed? Success mattered. Failure mattered. The world was made of hierarchies of beauty, power, and wealth—to ignore that was to deny reality.
"Now's your turn," Lance gestured to the Oathless. "Who do you want to be?"
"A chick magnet."
They both burst out laughing.
"Seriously?"
"I, ah…" Kai paused to think. Compared to Lance's answer, his own suddenly seemed so hollow. "I don't know."
"That's okay," the coach smiled. "Defining your ideal self can be one of the hardest things in life."
The Oathless shook his head. "You still haven't answered my question."
"Right, sorry, man—what did you ask?"
"You said I should be myself… which now sounds more complicated than I thought—but even if I manage to do that… what if she hates me?"
Lance shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
"What do you mean, 'doesn't matter'? It matters to me."
"It shouldn't."
"Why not?"
"Because… no matter who you are, no matter what you do, some people will like you, and some people will hate you… You might as well just be yourself and leave the rest to fate."
"I don't want to leave things to fate, I want her to love me."
"That ain't up to you."
"Sure it is. I can find out what she likes and become that, right?"
"I suppose you could, but… I don't think it will make you happy."
Kai scoffed. "What's the difference? It's not like I'm happy right now."
"Really?" Lance frowned. "You spent the past few months improving your life, getting in shape, and finding a job, and that hasn't affected your mood at all? Are you just as unhappy now as you were before?"
The Oathless considered that for a moment and was surprised to find he was feeling better—more satisfied and less lonely than he used to be.
"Things have improved…" he admitted. "Look, can't you just give me some practical advice? Like where to take her, or what to say?"
Lance shrugged and rattled off a list of things, dos and don'ts for a first date. "But all of that is situational… Depends on who you are with, the location, the timing, the way you say things…" Lance pursed his lips. "If there is one piece of advice I can give you that is always true, it is that every interaction is a risk."
"What does that mean?"
"Relationships are not a recipe; there is no fixed list of things that, if you do them, lead to a predictable outcome. No matter how you go about it, and how many precautions you take, there's always a chance that the other person will reject you, say no, or tell you to go away."
The Oathless's mouth became dry. "Yeah… obviously, but… what do I do about it?"
"Accept the risk. Know that whenever you open your mouth, you are making a gamble. Sometimes it'll pay off, sometimes it won't. You can troubleshoot it after the fact, try to minimize the risk for the next time—and you definitely should—but in the end, the risk will always be there. You just have to accept it."
Kai crossed his arms. It didn't sit right with him, but there was no fighting it. He would have to accept the risk and hope for the best.