Chapter 65: The Wedding of the Void
The Bureau had seen many bizarre mergers, but never one involving a "Singularity" and a "Soul." At 10:00 Cycles, the invitations—which were printed on actual slices of space-time—ceased being silent. They began to hum a low, romantic cello melody.
"Commissioner," Assistant Yue buzzed, her hybrid chassis now sporting a white lace veil over her steam valves. "THE. NUPTIALS. ARE. 100%. MANDATORY. THE. GROOM. IS. THE. VOID. WE. CONTACTED. IN. CHAPTER. 55. THE. BRIDE. IS. THE. GALAXY. OF. DREAMS. FROM. CHAPTER. 58. IT. IS. A. MATCH. MADE. IN... THE. EDITORS. MARGINS."
The Singularity in a Suit
Ne Job found himself standing at the end of the Grand Lobby, which had been transformed into a "Chapel of Infinite Possibility." In his hand, he held a velvet box containing the Ring of Singularity. It was a tiny, swirling black dot that weighed 7.5% more than the entire building.
"Don't drop it, Senior!" Junior Archivist whispered, wearing a tiny tuxedo. "If it touches the floor, the 'reception' will be located at the center of a collapsed star!"
Next to Ne Job stood the Groom: a tall, shifting pillar of absolute darkness wearing a very dapper silver bowtie. The Void didn't speak; it simply radiated a sense of "Polite Anticipation."
"I can't believe I'm the Best Man for a literal absence of matter," Ne Job muttered, adjusting his silver-plumed hat.
The Radiant Bride
The doors to Section C-7 flew open. The Galaxy of Dreams—the bride—didn't walk; she drifted. She was a swirling nebula of pink, gold, and violet, her train made of unwritten poetry and the smell of jasmine.
"She's beautiful!" The Muse cried, her hair flashing a soft, celebratory rose-gold. She was the Flower Girl, tossing handfuls of "Metaphorical Petals" that turned into butterflies before they hit the ground.
Architect Ao Bing was the wedding planner, frantic and sweating. "The structural integrity of the 'I Do' is unstable! We have a Galaxy of 'Everything' marrying a Void of 'Nothing'! The logic is canceling itself out!"
The 7.5% Gravitational Hitch
As the ceremony reached its peak, the Void Groom reached for the Ring. But as his dark shadow touched the velvet box, the Singularity inside reacted to the Bride's "Dream Energy."
The Ring began to grow.
"The Ring is hungry!" Pip yelled, currently dressed as an usher and struggling to keep the guest list (a group of sentient constellations) from being sucked into the box. "The 'Nothing' and the 'Everything' are creating a Temporal Vacuum!"
The Best Man's Intervention
"The ceremony cannot be completed!" Ao Bing screamed, holding onto a pillar. "The paradox is too strong! We're going to be 'Wedded' into a non-existent state!"
Ne Job realized that a wedding between "Everything" and "Nothing" needed a Bridge. It needed a Semicolon.
"Pip! The wrench! Give me the 'And'!"
Ne Job didn't use the Ring. He pulled the Semicolon from its velvet cushion and thrust it between the Void and the Galaxy. He used his silver stapler to KA-CHUNK the Semicolon's violet energy into the heart of the Ring.
"I am the Best Man!" Ne Job bellowed. "And I declare that this union shall not be a 'Full Stop' or a 'Void'! It shall be a Continuation!"
The Eternal Addendum
The Semicolon acted as a narrative stabilizer. The Ring stopped growing and settled into a beautiful, shimmering band of "Violet-Darkness." The Void Groom took the Bride's hand—or rather, the edge of her nebula—and the singularity was neutralized.
"I... feel... defined," the Void whispered, its voice echoing in the minds of everyone present.
"I... feel... grounded," the Galaxy sighed.
With a final flash of light, the ceremony concluded. The "Wedding of the Void" didn't destroy the Bureau; it created a new, permanent layer of "Magical Realism" in the hallway.
The Reception Log
Ne Job sat at a table made of solidified moonlight, eating a slice of "Conceptual Cake" that tasted like 7.5% lemon and 100% nostalgia.
LOG: CHAPTER 65 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Cosmic Marriage stabilized. Singularity contained.
NOTE: I am never giving a speech for a Black Hole ever again. It's too much pressure.
OBSERVATION: When 'Nothing' marries 'Everything,' you get 'Something' worth writing about.
P.S.: Barnaby the dragon ate the leftovers. He is now glowing and invisible at the same time.
The Muse leaned over his shoulder, her hair back to its electric-neon blue. "That was beautiful, Ne Job. You're a natural romantic."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon, which was back on its cushion, looking 7.5% more proud of itself.
"I'm an Archivist, Muse," Ne Job said. "And a good archivist knows that every great story needs a solid connection. Now, why is Assistant Yue handing me a 'Subpoena from the Court of High Narrative' and why am I being charged with 'Illegal Continuity'?"