Chapter 64: The Great Ink Explosion
It happened exactly as the future-memos had predicted in Chapter 61, proving that even a 7.5% chance of disaster is still 100% too high. At 15:00 Cycles, the Central Ink Reservoir—the beating heart of the Bureau's descriptive power—developed a terminal shudder.
"Commissioner!" Assistant Yue's typewriter base began to leak a thick, iridescent violet sludge. "THE. PRESSURE. IS. OFF. THE. CHARTS. THE. SILVER. INK. HAS. BECOME... SENTIENT. AND. IT. IS. VERY. CLAUSTROPHOBIC."
Before Ne Job could reach for the emergency shut-off valve, the Reservoir didn't just leak. It detonated.
The Narrative Flood
The sound was like a thousand fountain pens snapping at once. A tidal wave of shimmering, silver-violet Self-Writing Narrative Fluid erupted from the pipes, coating the Grand Lobby in three feet of liquid potential.
This wasn't ordinary ink. Because it was "Self-Writing," it didn't just stain the furniture; it rewrote it.
"My desk!" Ne Job shouted, as his heavy oak desk touched the ink and suddenly sprouted wings, becoming a 'Flighty Bureaucratic Platform.' "My boots!" Ao Bing wailed. The moment they were submerged, they began to recite a 'Tragic Backstory involving a Shoemaker and a Lost Love.'
"Don't touch the liquid!" The Muse screamed, hovering near the ceiling. "If it touches your skin, it will start writing your life in real-time! You'll lose your free will to a third-person narrator!"
The 7.5% Spontaneous Plot
The Bureau was becoming a liquid novel. Pip, who had accidentally dipped their hand in the flood, began to glow with a silver aura.
"Suddenly," Pip said, their voice sounding oddly theatrical, "the plucky intern realized that the only way to save the day was to perform a daring acrobatic feat involving the chandelier and a bucket of peppermint snacks!"
"Pip, stop!" Ne Job commanded. "The ink is telling you what to do!"
"I... I can't... stop!" Pip shouted, as their body involuntarily began to climb the wall. "The prose is too purple! It's compelling me to be Heroic!"
The Battle of the Pens
Ne Job realized that you couldn't mop up sentient ink. You had to Edit it.
"Junior! Get the Blotting Paper! Princess Ling, I need those 'Redacted Security Strips' from the forbidden trunks!"
Ne Job waded into the flood. He felt the ink tugging at his legs, trying to write him into a 'Weary Hero who finally surrenders to the Void.' "Not today!" Ne Job roared.
He didn't use his stapler. He grabbed a Giant Squeegee of Simplification that Pip had modified with their very small wrench. Ne Job began to push the ink back toward the pipes.
"You are STUFF!" Ne Job bellowed at the ink. "You are PIGMENT! You are STATIONERY! You are not the boss of the 'And'!"
The Narrative Dam
The Muse dived into the flood, her neon hair acting like a high-voltage dryer, evaporating the "Sentient Fluid" before it could finish its sentences. Junior used his tiny stapler to pin "Blotting Sheets" over the most aggressive paragraphs, turning "World-Ending Disasters" into "Minor Spelling Errors."
With one final, heave-ho, Ne Job shoved the last of the silver-violet wave back into the Reservoir. Princess Ling slammed the Redacted Strips over the cracks, sealing the sentient ink inside.
The Stained Success
The Lobby was quiet, though everything was now a 7.5% shade of permanent violet. Ne Job's trench coat was covered in silver text that read: 'He stood there, damp but undefeated.'
LOG: CHAPTER 64 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Ink Explosion survived. Reality un-written.
NOTE: I am never wearing white to this office again.
OBSERVATION: When the ink starts telling the story, the characters have to learn to talk back.
P.S.: Pip is still stuck on the chandelier. The ink wrote them into a 'Cliffhanger' and we're waiting for the next chapter to get them down.
The Muse landed beside him, her hair sparking with a satisfied, neon-violet glow. "Well, Ne Job. The future-memos were right about the mess. But they didn't say we'd look this good in silver."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon. It was pulsing with a deep, liquid intensity.
"I'm just glad we're back to being the ones holding the pens," Ne Job said. "Now, let's see why Assistant Yue has started printing out 'Invitations to a Cosmic Wedding' and why my name is listed as the 'Best Man' for a groom that doesn't exist."