"You there! Red Nose! Are you the boss of these mean guys?!"
Buggy didn't really care about the name-calling, but he immediately stepped up.
He took a slow, theatrical breath and stepped to the front of his ship, arms spread wide.
"Obviously, brat! Do you see anyone else looking more fabulous on this ship?" He gestured toward his own Jolly Roger proudly. "Also, the flag literally has a red nose on it. Kind of obvious in hindsight, innit?"
Luffy tilted his head. "What's hindsight?"
Buggy froze mid-gesture.
'Oh right… this is early-series Luffy. Brains of a peanut, fists of God... at least in the East Blue, weakest sea around.'
"Hindsight," Buggy said, trying to keep his composure, "as written in the dictionary, is the ability to understand an event after it's happened."
"Huh?" Luffy blinked. "You talk weird! Anyway, why'd you tell your people to steal my meat?"
Buggy blinked again. "...What?"
"My meat!" Luffy pointed accusingly. "You stole it! That's mean!"
"Okay, first off, I didn't tell them to steal anything. They're pirates. That's literally what they do." Buggy's face didn't even change as he outright lied to the young upstart pirate.
Luffy frowned. "But stealing's bad. Especially stealing meat. Especially mine!"
Before Buggy could even roll his eyes, the rubber-brained menace was already winding up his punch.
"Gomu Gomu no-"
Buggy's hand detached midair, knife in its grip, slicing cleanly toward Luffy's face.
Luffy's eyes widened as he bent backward at the last second, the knife cutting a few strands of hair instead of his cheek. His stretched arm flopped uselessly to the ground.
Buggy smirked. "Interrupting's rude, kid. Didn't your grandpa teach you manners?"
Luffy straightened, eyes sharpening. "You're weird!"
"Flattering," Buggy said, spinning another blade into his palm as he jumped down from his ship and stepped forward. "But you'll need more than flattery to deal with me."
The square fell silent for a moment. Only the creaking of ropes and distant seagulls filled the air.
Then, Luffy grinned. Buggy's grin widened to match it.
And both moved at once.
Luffy shot forward, his arm stretching wide as his fist rocketed through the air.
"Gomu Gomu no Pistol!"
Buggy split apart like a deck of cards tossed into the wind, torso sliding one way, legs another, his head lazily spinning upward like a balloon.
The rubbery punch shot harmlessly between his floating parts and crashed into the ship's railing, splintering it in half.
"Nice swing!" Buggy's head called cheerfully from above. "You aiming for the ocean next?"
Luffy blinked up. "Huh?!"
Buggy's feet flew back toward him like a pair of dropkicks.
WHAM!
They connected square with Luffy's chest, sending him staggering backward into a pile of barrels.
It didn't deal any real damage... but that wasn't the point. The point was, at the end of the day, having fun.
Buggy's body parts zipped back together in a sharp click as he landed neatly on the ground, brushing off his coat. "See, kid, that's your problem. You telegraph everything! Big wind-ups, big names for attacks, no subtlety. You're like a drunk seagull trying to box the wind!"
Luffy popped back up instantly, brushing off splinters. "You talk too much!"
He charged again, rubber limbs whipping around in wild arcs, punch, kick, spin, each one carrying monstrous strength and speed.
Buggy ducked under the first, separated his head to dodge the second, and split his right arm off entirely to parry the third using a short sword he'd yanked from a fallen goon.
CLANG.
The sword vibrated violently in his detached hand, which then zipped back toward Luffy and slashed. Luffy twisted away, the blade cutting a shallow line across his shoulder.
"Ow! That hurt!"
"Good!" Buggy cackled. "That's usually an attack's intended purpose, brat!"
He swung again, sending his left arm flying this time, each finger holding a blade like a grotesque juggling act.
His hands moved independently, slicing from impossible angles while his body ducked and weaved in sync. Luffy was fast, faster than anyone Buggy had fought since waking up in this world, but predictable.
Every attack had a pattern. And Buggy had the advantage of having already watched Luffy's patterns for years.
Buggy, meanwhile, had no pattern. He had no set fighting style yet. He was, in a way, still experimenting, which made it much harder for Luffy to adapt.
Luffy swung again, stretching both arms this time. Buggy's upper half separated, twisting midair, letting the fists sail harmlessly under him before his detached fingers clamped onto Luffy's outstretched wrists, squeezing tight with all the strength he could muster.
"Gotcha!"
"Eh?"
Buggy grinned. "Ever wonder what happens when a rubber band snaps?"
Before Luffy could react, Buggy yanked hard, then released. The stored tension flung Luffy backward, crashing him into a pile of crates.
The impact rattled the building behind him.
Buggy dusted off his coat and glanced at his crew, half of whom were gawking at the absurd fight. "You see that? That's technique! You bunch of idiots couldn't learn that if I stapled it to your foreheads!"
One pirate whispered, "Boss, you're kinda terrifying right now."
"Terrifyingly awesome," Buggy corrected, pointing dramatically. "Remember that!"
Luffy climbed out of the wreckage, flexing his arms experimentally. His straw hat sat crooked on his head.
"You're good," he admitted, grinning. "You fight funny."
"Funny?" Buggy echoed. "Oh no, no, no, I fight fabulously! There's a difference!"
He twirled two knives between his detached fingers, sending them spinning like deadly circus rings.
Luffy cracked his neck. "Then I'll just have to hit you harder!"
"Gomu Gomu no… Bazooka!"
Two rubber palms shot forward, slamming into Buggy's chest and blowing him off his feet, except his chest had already come apart mid-blow.
His torso scattered into the air in many pieces, limbs spinning like tossed juggling pins, while his legs stayed rooted to the deck.
He laughed midair, voice echoing from every direction. "You can't hit me that easily, Straw Hat!"
Luffy ducked under a flying foot, sidestepped an elbow, but a stray hand clutching a knife nicked his cheek.
"Ow! That's not fair!"
"Fair?" Buggy's disembodied voice echoed, amused. "Kid, I'm a pirate. Fairness isn't in the job description!"
His limbs converged again, this time grabbing up every weapon within reach, sabers, daggers, even a half-broken spear. Each floating piece of him armed itself.
He stood complete once more, surrounded by hovering blades all held aloft by his detached fingers.
Two detached fingers could be controlled to wrap around a hilt, clumsily, but well enough, and Buggy made sure to take advantage of that.
"Now this," Buggy said, spinning dramatically, "is what I call a multi-tool."
"That's too many swords," Luffy said, frowning.
"There's no such thing as too many swords, kid! You're just insecure because you have none!" Buggy replied.
He lunged.
The plaza erupted into chaos. Luffy's arms whipped and stretched as he dodged, blocked, and countered, but Buggy's detached attacks came from everywhere, knees, elbows, fingertips, even from behind.
Each blade flicked through the air in perfect coordination, as though a dozen invisible jesters danced around Luffy at once.
One slash nicked his thigh. Another grazed his side. Luffy spun, throwing a kick that shattered a crate, and hit nothing but air as Buggy's torso split apart again.
Luffy growled in frustration. "Stop moving around!"
Buggy's floating head grinned at him upside-down. "Make me!"
A hand snatched a loose tooth from Richie, the lion still dazed nearby, and with cartoonish flourish, Buggy flicked it like a dart straight into Luffy's sandal, missing his toes by an inch.
"Ow- WHAT THE- did you just stab me with a tooth?!"
"Improvised weaponry, kid! Adapt or die!" Buggy cackled, grabbing a pirate's club midair and smashing it into Luffy's shin, just for the fun of it.
Luffy stumbled but retaliated instantly. "Gomu Gomu no Whip!"
His leg extended in a wide arc, slamming across the deck. Buggy's entire body ducked flat, separating into pieces so the leg whooshed harmlessly above him.
Luffy's eyes widened as Buggy's parts zipped together behind him.
"Peek-a-boo."
Then Buggy headbutted him.
Right on the nose.
The shockwave sent Luffy sprawling again, but like any punches or kicks before, it did no actual damage. As a rubber human, he was immune to blunt force.
From the sidelines, the Buggy Pirates were losing their minds.
"Captain Buggy is actually winning!?"
"Since when can he fight like that?!"
"Since always, fools!" Buggy barked between attacks. "I'm not just a pretty face!"
He deflected another of Luffy's wild punches with a detached forearm, twisting his other hand to slash across Luffy's vest, tearing the fabric.
Luffy winced. He wasn't seriously hurt, but his expression had shifted, from carefree excitement to genuine focus.
"You're tough," he admitted.
Buggy smirked. "I'm kinda finding that out myself... Fighting someone strong like you means I get to experiment a bit..."
For a moment, their eyes met, Luffy's blazing with instinctual ferocity, Buggy's sharp and calculating beneath the paint.
And maybe, just maybe, in that brief moment, the jester's grin wasn't entirely fake.
He was enjoying this.
Too much.
Luffy charged again, rubber limbs snapping like whips.
Buggy dodged, countered, and improvised. His parts moved almost automatically, guided by something far more practiced than pure instinct, memories of brawls in back alleys, of broken bottles and desperate scrapes.
He'd fought before this world. Not as a clown, not as a pirate. As a survivor.
He slashed again, and again, Luffy took a few more shallow cuts, each one stinging, each one earned. But Buggy could feel it too, Luffy's hits, even when glancing, hurt.
One punch grazed his floating chest and nearly sent it spinning off into the ocean. Another kick cracked the very street beneath them.
If he got careless, one real hit would end him.
Still, Buggy laughed.
He couldn't help it. He was having fun... and to him, that was when he felt most alive.
Luffy swung again, both fists stretching wide, predictable, yes, but monstrously fast.
Buggy ducked, barely. One fist clipped his shoulder and sent his body flying into a building behind him, scattering his limbs like confetti.
"Alright," Buggy muttered, reassembling with a grimace as he stepped through a broken wall. "Playtime's over."
He drew one final knife from his belt, spinning it idly. "Let's see if you're still smiling after this, Straw Hat."
But before he could move...
SHING.
Buggy's world spun as his head rolled clean off his shoulders.
For a split second, there was silence.
Then his decapitated head blinked up at the newcomer standing behind him.
A tall man with green hair and three swords, only one drawn and extended. His expression was flat, his eyes sharp.
"That's one down," the swordsman muttered.
Buggy's head smirked. "Heh. Nice try, mosshead."
Zoro's eyes widened when seeing his floating head. "What the hell…" He clearly hadn't had the pleasure of witnessing the battle that had just taken place.
Buggy's body, still upright, turned to face Zoro and promptly delivered a Spartan kick straight into his nuts.
Zoro's eyes bulged as he stumbled back in sheer disbelief and pain.
"You're gonna have to do better than that to take me down!"
Buggy's grin widened as he heard Zoro's pained gasp, his teeth gleaming beneath the painted red lips.
"Welcome to the circus."