Buggy sat on a cushioned chair at the bow of his ship, legs crossed, a glass of watered-down rum in one hand and a satisfied grin plastered across his painted face.
"Ahhh," he sighed, leaning back. "Nothing like a bit of sea breeze to wash away the scent of peasant panic and and the aftertaste of success."
Cabaji leaned on the railing beside him, still a little shaky from the morning's events. "Captain, are we really heading straight for Arlong Park?"
Buggy smirked. " 'Straight' is such a limiting word, Cabaji. Let's say we're… gliding with intent."
They were barely an hour away from Cocoyasi Village, the sails puffed, the sea glittered, and for once, the world seemed to be playing along. Arlong Park wasn't far. The wind was favorable. Everything was calm.
Too calm.
Buggy's smile twitched. "This feels suspiciously peaceful. Like the setup before a bad punchline."
He was right.
Before the thought could even settle, the horizon seemed to bulge upward, the ocean itself splitting as something massive rose from the depths.
The water erupted in a geyser of foam and shadow, followed by a deep, guttural MOOOOOOOOOO!that rattled the deck.
The crew screamed. Mohji dropped his telescope. Cabaji swore.
And Buggy… Buggy blinked, squinting. "Oh, for f- oh right, this idiot."
A monstrous sea cow, nearly the size of their ship, towered above the water, its tongue lolling out and drool cascading into the sea like a grotesque waterfall.
"B-boss! It looks like a Sea Beast!" Mohji yelped, fumbling for a rope. "We're turning, but it's too close! We'll crash!"
Buggy set his glass down and sighed theatrically. "You know, I was really hoping for a calm hour before the murdering started - but nooo~"
He stood, dusting off his coat, then reached out and snagged two long blades from the nearest crewmen.
"Captain-" Cabaji began.
But Buggy was already floating upward, arms and legs detaching smoothly as his body parts zipped toward the looming creature.
"Relax!" Buggy called cheerfully. "I'll go say hello!"
The sea cow blinked, dumbly following the colorful clown soaring toward it. Its massive nostrils flared.
"Now, now, big guy," Buggy crooned, spinning both blades like a circus act. "Let's get something straight-"
He shot forward like a bullet, arms rocketing ahead of him, and both blades plunged straight into the creature's eyes.
"-you're blocking my damn view!"
The beast roared, thrashing violently, waves splashing high over the deck as the crew screamed and clung to the rails.
"Holy shit!" Cabaji gaped. "He actually-"
"Oh, he's doing it," Mohji muttered, pale.
Buggy landed squarely on the monster's head, boots slipping on slick flesh as he laughed like a lunatic. "You ever hear of depth perception? No? Let me fix that for you!"
He twisted both blades, feeling the resistance give way with a wet, popping crunch. The beast convulsed. Blood fountained out, mixing crimson into the turquoise sea.
The crew winced as Buggy yanked the swords free, brain matter clinging to the steel. "And that," he said, flicking the gore aside, "is what we call precision surgery!"
The sea cow shuddered once more before collapsing with a tremendous splash. A tidal wave rolled over the deck, soaking everyone to the bone.
Buggy floated back leisurely, drenched but grinning, landing in his chair with a dramatic sigh. "Bye-bye, Momoo~" he sang, crossing his legs again. "Should've stayed a background character."
His men stared at him in absolute silence, a mix of awe, fear, and reluctant admiration.
Cabaji finally broke it. "…Captain, you're insane."
Buggy smiled serenely, pulling a towel over his shoulders. "No, Cabaji. I'm committed. There's a difference."
He leaned back once more as the ship turned away from the corpse now drifting behind them. Ahead, the coast rose out of the mist, and there, squatting like a grotesque coral fortress, stood Arlong Park.
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From afar, Arlong Park rose along the eastern coast of the Conomi Islands, a grand, coral fortress gleaming against the sea. Its pale walls and curved roofs catch the sunlight, mirrored in the still water of the surrounding pool.
Steel gates guard the inlet that connects the compound to the open ocean. Tall spires and terraces give the building an almost regal silhouette, standing out starkly against the coastline.
Buggy whistled. "Gotta hand it to the guy, shark-face has taste. Gaudy, murderous taste, but taste."
Cabaji squinted. "Are we… attacking that fortress, Boss?"
Buggy grinned. "No, Cabaji. We're remodelingit."
He stood, stretching his arms dramatically. "Alright boys, this is the part where subtlety dies a heroic death! Load the cannons! Every single one!"
The deck exploded into motion. Pirates scrambled to load the bright red cannonballs, laughter and adrenaline fueling their madness.
"Buggy Balls ready, Captain!" Mohji shouted.
Buggy cracked his neck, grinning wide enough to show teeth. "Then let's begin the performance!"
The first cannon roared.
The sound echoed across the sea, followed by a distant BOOM! as a corner of Arlong Park exploded into dust and flying debris.
The crew erupted in cheers. Buggy threw his arms wide. "Encore!"
Another volley.
Then another.
Soon, the entire ship thundered with gunfire, fiery trails streaking through the sky as the Clown Pirates unleashed hell.
Each blast lit up the horizon. Coral walls crumbled. Watchtowers shattered. Fishmen scrambled like ants as explosions painted the air with smoke.
Some Buggy Balls missed, erupting harmlessly in the sea, but most didn't.
Within minutes, half of Arlong Park was engulfed in fire and falling rubble.
Buggy, standing at the bow with one hand on his hip, sighed contentedly. "Ahhh… the smell of destruction and justice. My two favorite colognes."
Cabaji grinned nervously. "Captain, uh, I think you might've actually flattened half their base."
"Half?" Buggy said, mock-offended. "We're slacking! Reload!"
Before the next volley could fire, the sea ahead began to churn.
The water rippled violently in the distance, then exploded upward as dark shapes surged toward the surface, rushing towards the ship.
Cabaji's face went pale. "Uh… Captain?"
Buggy tilted his head, smirk widening. "Right on cue."
The waves broke as four massive figures shot out of the sea like torpedoes.
At the front was Arlong himself, towering, blue-skinned, and grinning with that monstrous saw-like nose gleaming in the sunlight. His sharp-toothed grin promised pain.
Behind him came Kuroobi, the stern, muscular manta ray fishman with his arms crossed; Chew, the wide-mouthed smelt-whiting with water dripping from his oversized jaw; and Hatchan, the six-armed octopus fishman, spinning his swords like toys.
"Well, well, well!" They were still far away, but Arlong's voice boomed across the waves. "Who's the clown that thinks he can play god with my park?!"
Buggy stepped up to the railing, cupping a hand around his mouth. "That would be me, fishstick! Buggy D. Renovation Specialist!"
Arlong's teeth bared. "You'll regret setting foot in my waters!"
Buggy's grin didn't waver. "Oh, don't worry, I brought something special for your waters."
He turned and gestured grandly toward the deck. "Boys! Operation Happy Hour!"
The crew knew what that meant. Within seconds, barrels upon barrels of alcohol, rum, oil, anything flammable, were rolled across the deck and spilled overboard, some were also just rolled off.
Buggy grabbed one himself, twirling it once before tossing it into the churning sea. "And now for the finale!"
He did a trick, pulling a set of matchsticks from behind his ear... And simply flicked a match.
The flame danced for a moment, reflecting in his manic eyes, then he tossed it into the ocean.
The barrels ignited instantly, fire blooming across the waves like a floating inferno. The surface of the sea boiled, steam rising as the flames stretched wide.
The Fishmen stopped short. Even underwater, the heat was unbearable.
Chew cursed and dove deep to avoid the blaze. Hatchan flailed backward, tentacles singed. Kuroobi snarled, staying submerged.
Only Arlong kept going, muscles bulging, fury twisting his shark-like face.
He shot forward through the steam, propelling himself with a burst of water pressure.
"Shark on Darts!"
A column of seawater burst upward, and Arlong's nose embedded itself straight into the ship's mast with a splintering CRACK!
The deck rocked violently. Crewmen screamed. Buggy stumbled backward, only to laugh as the shark-man yanked his head free, wood splintering around him.
"Well, well, well," Buggy chuckled. "Look what the tide dragged in."
Arlong landed on the deck with a thud that cracked planks. His gills flared, smoke rising from his burned shoulders. "You're dead, clown!"
Cabaji rushed forward, twin blades flashing. "Captain, get back!"
Their swords clashed, wood and steel meeting raw power. Cabaji managed to parry once, twice, before Arlong's strength overpowered him completely.
A brutal swing sent Cabaji flying across the deck, crashing through a pile of crates.
"Cabaji!" Mohji shouted.
Buggy just grinned, adjusting his hat as Arlong turned to him.
The two locked eyes, predator and performer, shark and jester. The air between them seemed to hum with tension.
Buggy's painted smile stretched wider.
"Y'know," he said softly, "I was hoping you'd make a personal appearance. The show wouldn't be complete without the main act."
Arlong's teeth glinted as he crouched, muscles coiling. "Then let me give you your curtain call."
Buggy laughed, loud, fearless, and wild, as the flames reflected in his eyes.
"Bring it, fishface. Let's make this show unforgettable."