Buggy stood smack in the middle of Orange Town's main square like a smug king without a throne. His arms crossed, cape flapping dramatically in a breeze that probably wasn't even there.
All around him, the Buggy Pirates scurried in loud, chaotic little clusters. Doors were booted off hinges, stalls ransacked, and furniture upended with the finesse of drunk jugglers.
A barrel rolled past with two men wrestling over whether it was filled with nails or pickled onions.
Buggy just smiled, nose twitching with satisfaction.
To an outsider, the scene was pure disorder and chaos, filled with despair and the cries of civilians as their livelihoods were being stolen away. But to him, it was art. Beautiful, messy, pirate-flavored art.
After all, despite everything, none of the villagers fought back... Maybe aside from a little dog on the roadside, it tried to bite Buggy, who just ignored it.
He did eventually have to extend his arm, grab it by the scruff, and put it on top of a tall roof, where it was too scared to do anything else.
But everyone else? Too afraid to even attempt. Maybe too used to being helpless and getting saved by Marines/Bounty Hunters to take up weapons and actually fight back.
After all, Buggy's men were just scallywags, regular deckhands except for Mohji the Beast Tamer and Cabaji. The people of Orange Town stood a decent chance...
"This," Buggy announced to no one in particular, "is civilization."
A pair of pirates paused in the act of dragging a wardrobe out of someone's home, blinked at him, and then nodded solemnly like their captain had just delivered wisdom worthy of the sages.
Mohji trailed behind, clipboard in hand (because apparently he thought he was a quartermaster now), muttering about inventory and livestock. While his pet lion Richie dragged around a few barrels.
Cabaji leaned on his unicycle like a man too dignified for menial labor.
The townspeople were still nowhere to be seen. Just the occasional cracked shutter and a muffled cry whenever one of Buggy's men kicked over something particularly loud.
Buggy inhaled deep, hands on his hips, savoring the smell of citrus, sawdust, and mild arson.
"Ahh," he said. "This is the smell of progress."
Now, looting from helpless people may not have been fun under normal circumstances, at least morally speaking. But Buggy could see the irony of fate in it.
His crew had been heading to a place called Orange Town while suffering from scurvy; within said town, no one would be willing to sell them anything.
This was only a natural progression of that.
Had they kept their stores open, maybe Buggy would've tried negotiating something with the locals... But why would he now go out of his way to be friendly?
He was a pirate. He had the reputation of one, was being treated like one, and decided to act like one too.
And in all honestly... Orange Town was lucky he had taken over.
Buggy in the original show would've been taking pot shots at the city with his patented highly explosive 'Buggy Balls.'
Now they were just going to get looted. Big deal.
From somewhere between a barrel and a tall building, and in the shadow of said building, a pair of sharp eyes watched the chaos unfold.
Nami had seen plenty of pirates in her life, but these ones were particularly loud. Too much energy for their own good, too much greed splattered across their faces.
And their captain, the clown with the ridiculous nose. stood there like he owned the whole damn ocean.
Arms crossed, cape flapping, looking smug enough to choke on. He wasn't doing the looting himself, just putting his lackeys to work while he reaped the spoils.
Still, that was perfect. The louder the circus, the easier for her to slip behind the curtain.
She darted from her hiding spot, moving along the shadows of the dock. Years of practice made her footsteps whisper-soft, her timing flawless.
She reached the gangplank while the Buggy Pirates were still busy arguing over whether a broken chair counted as "loot."
Two goons had been posted near the ship, but "posted" was generous.
One was smoking something that looked suspiciously flammable, the other leaning on a barrel like it was holding him upright.
Both were too distracted to notice the orange-haired thief slide past them like a whisper of wind.
The Buggy Pirates' ship was loud and gaudy, like its owner, paint chipped but brightly colored, sails patched in clashing patterns. Even their chaos had personality.
Nami slipped below deck, heart hammering but hands steady. She knew the type.
Every pirate captain worth his salt kept his "treasure" where he could gloat over it. Near the desk. Where they could always turn to look at it to stroke their ego... Or their dick.
And sure enough, there it was. A heavy chest sitting beside the captain's desk, practically begging to be opened.
Her lips curled into a grin. Too easy.
She crouched, ran her fingers along the edge, and popped the latch. The chest creaked open-
BANG!
A geyser of confetti and chewed-up bubblegum exploded into her face. Sticky, colorful shreds clung to her hair and cheeks as she stumbled back, coughing in surprise.
A clownish honk echoed from some hidden spring inside the chest, followed by a crude banner that popped up with the words "NICE TRY, THIEF!"
Her eyes went wide. "...Oh, shit."
Up above, a bell rang sharply. Shouts rose from the deck. Boots thundered.
And from the town square, Buggy threw his head back and roared with laughter.
"HAHAHAHA! I knew it! I knew some greedy little mouse would try nibbling at my cheese! Oh, this is RICH!"
He strolled toward the ship, grinning so wide it almost split his painted cheeks.
Nami cursed under her breath, already sprinting for the stairs.
She burst back onto the deck, staff in hand, and cracked the first pirate across the jaw before he could blink. He spun like a top and collapsed.
The other lunged - she whipped the staff around in a clean arc and smacked him in the gut, sending him wheezing to the planks.
For a moment, it almost seemed like she'd get away. Almost.
Then a pale, gloved hand shot out like a snake.
It wasn't attached to anything. Just a hand, flying through the air at great speed.
It clamped around her throat and yanked her clean off her feet. She gasped as her back slammed against the captain's quarters doors hard enough to rattle the hinges.
Stars danced in her vision.
Buggy stepped onto the deck, still laughing, his arm floating lazily back to reattach itself. "Well, well, well. Look what the tide dragged in. A cat burglar. Or maybe a mouse dressed as a fox? Whatever you are, sweetheart- you've got guts."
Nami tried to struggle, but his grip was iron, his grin merciless. The last thing she saw before the darkness swallowed her was his nose twitching with amusement.
-
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When she woke, ropes dug into her wrists. Her head throbbed, and the salty air was cool against her face.
She realized, with no small amount of dread, that she was tied to the Buggy Pirates' mast, the ship still docked in Orange Town, thankfully.
But that hardly mattered, as directly in front of her stood Buggy himself, juggling knives like it was the most natural thing in the world.
SHING. SHING. SHING. The blades spun, glittering in the sun. One sank into the mast just inches from her face, slicing an apple clean in half.
Buggy leaned forward, nose gleaming, grinning like a child pulling wings off flies.
"Welcome aboard, darling," he said. "Now let's play a little game~"