After less than one complete sun cycle, Jiro found himself standing in front of the magnificent red brick wall of the capital's City Hall. The royal eagle insignia looked down on him from above the heavy black gate to the headquarters responsible for governing the stunning city of Rosalia. Morning air, filled with promise, carried the scent of freshly baked bread was-
(Really? Promise? Okay, Mr. Narrator, you need to chill for a second.)
What?
(Come on! We need to stop with these weird descriptors that make zero sense. Like "something beamed with hope," or "something had the shape of a new adventure," and stuff like that. You know, that's why people think some novels are full of filler words - because this is actually absurd.)
No, it's not.
(Oh, really? So you think those filler adjectives mean anything? Then please enlighten us: what does "promise" smell like?)
Coffee and cinnamon, obviously.
(Wait, what? Seriously? Okay… Em… but what about beaming with hope?)
Bright silvery-yellow.
(Oh… what about the shape of advent-)
Pointed ellipse.
(…)
Are you done, Jiro?
(Yeah…)
May I?
(Oh, sure. Please. After you.)
…
The morning air, filled with promise, and the scent of freshly baked bread danced through Jiro's hair as he stepped once more through the black entrance door. He climbed the stairs confidently despite his particularly uncomfortable morning.
Thankfully, Sabrina's hearty breakfast cured most of his hangover. The semi-fantastical meal consisted of two massive kielbasa-style smoked sausages, accompanied by what Jiro later learned was a hippogryph's scrambled egg - a perfect cure after the most chaotic day of his life. The hero enjoyed this incredible feast behind the counter of the adventurer's guild as he exchanged brief chat moments with Paulina, who was busy distributing quests to adventurers.
As Jiro ascended the stairs toward the City Hall's main hall, he held hold for a moment. Just to be safe, he cast a fifth-tier detection magic spell, aiming to check if the deranged dwarven woman from yesterday was in the building. Although he did not sense her presence, he detected traces of her residual mana on the grass outside the building, under the balcony, oddly splattered around the backyard.
For the sake of his mental health, he decided not to dwell on it.
The spacious hall was once again overflowing with Aramean citizens, trapped in the bureaucratic machine. Jiro walked over to the little wooden box and grabbed his number for the unemployment official. As he waited patiently, a young man took the golden guild identification card and admired it with pride until it was suddenly replaced by guilt, remembering he had indeed scammed the guild since he never actually completed his goblin genocide mission.
*Sigh* "I'll tell Paulina the truth later," Jiro vowed to himself silently, but not really, since he said it, so more like quietly, but also not too much.
(Mr. Narrator? Are you hungover as well?)
You think you drank alone yesterday? Stupid. I need some aspirin.
Urgh…
After about thirty minutes of sitting on the wooden chair, Jiro was finally called over by a familiar face. Tired-looking elven woman greeted him with a gentle smile.
"Ms. Evergreen! Good to see you here again."
"Mr. Jiro. What a surprise. I didn't expect you so quickly. Oh, and happy Peace Week."
Carmen waved a small red paper flag sitting on her desk. Given the recent news of the Demon Lord's demise, King Fabian declared that his subjects of the Arame Kingdom entered a Peace Week, a national holiday filled with joy and celebration, but for some unexplainable reason – not good enough to have a day off work, apparently.
"Yeah. Happy Peace Week to you too. Anyway. Take a look!" he pulled out his guild card. "I have it -the ID. Now can I have my unemployment benefits? Pretty please?"
"Oh, of course. But as you probably remember, the ID card was just one of the requirements for completing this process. Now, it's time to fill out just a few documents."
Carmen pressed a red button on her desk and slightly pulled her chair away. With a whistling sound, stacks of paper started falling through a blue portal created in the ceiling. Pages upon pages descended like a hailstorm. Before Jiro could react, he found himself staring at mountains of unemployment benefit forms.
"You said 'just a few documents' right?"
"Yes, you should have seen the forms for a fishing permit," Carmen laughed softly with slight embarrassment, knowing how much of an inconvenience this is.
"Why do I even need all those documents?"
The elven woman stepped closer to the young hero and whispered in his ear.
"Actually, it used to be a single page of text, but then the mayor started playing bamboball with the Grog Paper CEO, and after he got hooked on pain relief potions, he got a decent payout from the magic printer lobby, and now every form is like a thousand pages. It's a whole thing."
Jiro's heart briefly pounded faster in his chest. Not out of sadness or outrage, but because realising that this city is controlled by a drug-addicted, corrupt politician who could be bought with a generous donation from a tech lobby group made him feel as if he was back in his original world. Jiro felt a wave of sentimentality.
Despite his hesitation, he took the documents to the City Hall personal cubicle at City Hall, where he began going through them one by one. It soon became clear that Carmen wasn't lying, as the questions on those forms ranged from practical to utterly nonsensical.
-------------------------
Name?
Date of Birth?
Previous occupation?
Work experience?
Political affiliation?
Languages?
Height?
Weight?
Mass?
Number of atoms?
Favorite food?
Where do babies come from?
Why won't anyone tell me?
What number am I thinking of?
How did you know?
How do you know that your crush likes you back?
What time is it?
Already?
License and registration?
Can you step out of the car?
Why are you resisting?
What is a car?
If a horse sprints at 50 miles per hour from Arame to Tera, and a dragonite runs from Tera to Arame at 45 kilometres per hour, then at what point does this question become boring?
Can you pass the salt?
R u ok?
Do you have a boyfriend?
Do you want one?
So, just hypothetically, what if there was someone super near that had the same interests as you, was really lovely, and wanted to take you out on a date?
No?
Oh
Ok
-------------------------
Completing these documents took Jiro eight hours. No water, no food, no breaks, no game, no bitches, no sugar, no blinking, no breathing. Straight work.
The young Japanese man felt exhausted after what felt like years of writing answer after answer to every single question on the unemployment benefits forms. He put every single peace of paper on a trolley and brought it back to Carmen.
"I think… that' s… all… right?" said Jiro, panting heavily.
Carmen directed her eyes at page of 61,231 of the unemployment form from 41C.5 and, without hesitation – or even reading a single word – she pressed a green stamp on top of it.
"Yeah, seems fine," she nodded.
Jiro once again found himself fighting the urge to wither away, or worse.
(I'm THE all-mighty hero, right? So, if I were to evaporate this whole city hall with a divine magic beam, who's going to stop me?)
Thankfully, he didn't.
"Seems like everything is in order," said Carmen.
"Does it mean I can get my unemployment benefits now?"
"Mr Jiro… Did you forget? There's one more thing to complete the process."
"The spirit of the damned thing?"
"The spirit of the damned thing."
Back in Chapter 5, it was already established that to receive social benefits, one would have to provide government ID, complete some forms, and allow the spirit of an evil warrior from the abyss to possess one' s body for five business days - standard procedure.
Carmen stood up from her chair and, with a practiced smile of a public servant, she pointed at a small staircase behind her.
"Now, Mr Jiro, if you would be so kind and follow me, so we can go down to the Dungeon of the Dark Soul and proceed with the administration of the abyss spirit."
Without waiting for an answer, she turned on her heels, and with soft clicks of her shoes, descended the stone steps. Jiro had no choice but to follow.
The further they went down the cobbled staircase, the darker it became. The noises of the busy city hall faded into the distance as the humid dungeon air carried the damp scent of mould and grime. This otherworldly dungeon must have been connected to the city' s sewers, given the horrid stench coming from small openings in the walls.
The second of Carmen's feet left the steps, torches along the walls lit up one by one, revealing a monumental dungeon room. Strangely, the torches cast an ominous green light, creating an atmosphere of doom and uncertainty. The elven cleric led Jiro towards a glass ball, positioned in the centre of the room. The sphere appeared to be filled with black mist, swimming in a translucent void. The mist behaved like fish in the sea, but instead of materialized body, it resembled ghostly clouds moving around the transparent globe. Carmen rested her hand on top of it and looked into the hero's eyes.
"Are you ready? It might feel a little uncomfortable. Your body will be possessed by a spirit of the underworld's servant. It's okay if you're not up for it."
Jiro raised his hand to stop Carmen from continuing, before his resolve wavered.
"It's okay, Ms. Evergreen. Let's do it. I'm ready"
Elven beauty nodded and placed her other hand on Jiro's chest.
"In the name of the spirits of the underworld, I command you, spirit, to use this follower of the light as the vessel for your darkness. Step across the worlds, enter his body, and explore the lands of the living once more. Sixth-tier dimension magic: Spirit Migration."
As Carmen stopped chanting, one of the black clouds from the sphere entered her hand and made its way across her body to enter Jiro. A dark mist spread inside him as the spirit of the damned possessed its new vessel.
Then a bright golden light burst from Jiro's body, illuminating the entire room with angelic radiance, brightening every corner of the ominous dungeon before fading once again.
Jiro looked flabbergasted.
"Ms. Evergreen? What just happened?"
Carmen's face was one of utter confusion. She blinked rapidly.
"I… don't know. But the spirit is… gone"
"What do you mean 'gone'?"
"Let me try again. Okay. Spirit Migration!"
Another soul from the abyss moved from the sphere across her body into Jiro, and once more, a golden light spread throughout the dungeon, leaving an angelic halo above the hero's head. Carmen looked at him and asked.
"Mr. Jiro… are you perhaps… the real hero?"
"Yes…?"
Carmen sighed.
"Legendary heroes are under divine protection, so any abyss spirit attempting to possess them will be purified"
"So does that mean we can skip the whole spirit of the damned thing"
Elven woman looked at the hero and sighed again.
"I'm sorry, but rules are rules. If the spirit can't possess you, we can't proceed with the unemployment benefits."
"Does that mean…"
"Yes…"
"Don't say it"
"You're going to have to find a…"
"STOP!"
"J-O-B."
"NO!!!!"
"And you have just purified two abyss spirits that were government property, so you'll be charged a penalty of four platinum coins, payable in monthly installments at a 53% interest rate."
Jiro sank to his knees, utterly defeated.
"Does this mean…"
"Yes"
Carmen stepped closer and announced loudly.
"Jiro! Otherworldly hero! As of this moment, I – Carmen Evergreen – declare you... in debt!"
The hero raised his fist in the air, crying on his knees.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!".