Ryan's alarm rang through the silence at 6:30 AM sharp, yanking him from his foggy dream where he was on his knees in a dimly lit room, surrounded by towering black gods with their length calling for worship.
Hm!
He groaned, slapping the snooze button, but the weight of reality came crashing down.
The apartment was still dark, the city outside just beginning to wake with the sounds of early morning movers. He got out of bed, feet on the cold hard floor, and strode to the kitchen.
The coffee maker hummed to life as he leaned against the counter, rubbing his sleepy eyes
His body felt heavy, not just from the late night sessions, but from the constant underlining exhaustion that came with juggling everything.
While the coffee brewed, he checked his phone...two calls from Mom, times showing late last night probably during his late night session
His stomach twisted. He knew the tone in her voice messages without even listening to it.
Pouring himself a cup of black coffee, he tapped the redial putting it on speaker, strolling around the kitchen as it rang.
Ring ring! Ring-
"Ryan? Honey, is that you?" Her voice answered on the second dial, sounding worn-out, like she's been up half the night worrying
"Yeah, Mom sorry I missed your calls, Work ran late." A lie; the porn session had run long, but he couldn't say that.
"Oh, I didn't want to bother you so early, but... things are really tight here. The latest hospital bill came in for your father's old treatments....another $800 we didn't expect. And Jayden's tuition deposit for community college is due next week.....
He snagged that partial scholarship, but it's not covering everything. I picked up an extra shift at the dinners, but my feets are killing me, and it's just not enough." Her tone tired
Ryan sank into a chair at the tiny kitchen table, staring at the steam rising from his cup of coffee.
His father.... that old deadbeat drunk...had left a mess when he ran three years ago.
Alcohol induced accidents, unpaid loans, medical debts from liver issues he never paid mind.
Mom had beared it all, working doubles shift at the greasy restaurant in their small hometown, her hands calloused from never ending plates and tips that barely covered the groceries.
And Jayden, his younger brother, was the bright one..18 now, looking towards college
Ryan had promised to help, sending large parts of his paycheck every month, but his entry level salary at Apex Investments was stretched thin.
Rent in the city took half, utilities and food swallowed the rest.
After last night's indulgence, the shame stung deeper; here he was fantasizing about submission while his family struggled to get by.
" Freak" he cursed inwardly
Sigh! "I....I'll figure something out, Mom," he said, forcing steadiness into his voice. "Maybe overtime at the firm. Or I can look for a side job."
"You're already doing so much, baby, I hate leaning on you like this. Your father... well, you know." Her voice was audible, thick with unspoken resentment.
"Jayden's excited, though. He talks about college. Saying he wants to build things, make a difference. Like you did getting that job in the city...."
Chest tightening. He wasn't making a difference, he was crunching numbers in a cubicle, invisible to the executives above. But he was the stable one, the reliable child.
"Tell Jayden I will send extra this week, Love you, Mom."
"Love you too, honey. Take care of yourself."
Hanging up, Ryan stared at the phone, the debt figures spinning in his head. $800 for the bill, $1,200 for Jayden's deposit...on top of the ongoing loans.
He needed at least $500 more this month, quick.
Freelance? Uber?writer?
Nothing fits his schedule without tiring him out. His mind drifted to last night's video, the sub on his knees, owned and adored. What if he could... No!.
Ridiculous!....Not happening!...
...............
He dressed for work...pressed pants that hugged his slim legs a bit too tight, a button up shirt to hide his perky nipples, tie knotted a bit loose.
The mirror showed the same soft pretty face, but today it mocked him...pretty, but useless.
On the subway to the office, crowded with suits, he felt smaller, his fantasies winding up here and there
The man next to him, tall and darkskinned, reminded him of the dom in the video. Ryan averted his eyes, cock twitching ironically.
"Such a huge bulge!"he swallowed nipples perking up
Apex Investments towered in the financial district, glass and steel gleaming under the golden rays of the morning sun.
Ryan strode in, turning to the basement-level financial department...far from the executive floors where deals were made.
His cubicle was a gray desk, stacked with reports and a monitor.
He logged in, diving into projections of the quarter, but focus evaded him. The family's burden pressed like a vice his mind going haywire
During the lunch break, he searched for "easy side jobs from home" on his phone. Surveys, data entry...pennies.
Then an ad flashed "Earn thousands streaming your passions!"
He clicked on it, leading to a content creator site. Gaming, tutorials... but a sidebar for adult streams caught his eye. Femboys, subs, raking in tips from fans.
His breath quickened. Images of performers like him..soft, submissive...flashed.
Testimonials
"Turned my weakness into $5000 per month." He closed the tab quickly, cheeks burning " how could he think of doing something like that?",
but the idea lingered. mind racing.
Could he? No one would know. Money for Jayden college, relief for Mom...and pleasure.....
..............
Afternoon meetings dragged. Mr Carter led one, his deep baritone voice commanding the room.
"We need those forecasts tight, people." His eyes swept over Ryan briefly, biting his lips, Ryan imagined confessing, submitting right there, his knees shaking.
"Get it together," he whispered to himself his heart drumming in his chest.
....
By evening, back in his apartment, exhaustion hit. But the search tab reopened on his laptop. More research: equipment cheap, anonymity possible.
He shook it off, heating up ramen for dinner, but his thoughts spun...debts, desires, desperation
"I need to find something... quick and....fast".
Sleep called early, but sleep was not all. Dreams mixed with family pleas with video scenes, him on his knees ass in the air begging for mercy, for ownership.....his ass leaking.
Morning would bring another day, but the seed was planted. Ryan was sinking, and the bottom felt dangerously inviting to him.