The night before deployment, I barely slept. Ahce had fallen asleep beside me, her breathing soft, steady, a sound that used to bring me peace but now only filled me with guilt. The dim glow of the bedside lamp cast faint light on her face, highlighting every line, every curve, every memory I didn't deserve.
I watched her for what felt like hours, committing her to memory, the way her lips parted slightly when she dreamed, the way her hand unconsciously searched for mine even in sleep. She had no idea that by the time she woke up, I would already be gone.
There were so many things I wanted to tell her. That I was scared. That I didn't want to leave her again. That every time I walked away, a part of me stayed behind, trapped in her warmth. But lies were easier than truths, and safer.
