Lowell wanted to objectively evaluate his own heart. Did he truly love Felix? How much? Was it alright to let his feelings keep drifting this way? There were too many things to consider. Past heartbreaks had made Lowell cautious—he'd learned to scrutinized and censor his own emotions.
"Open up."
But Felix wasn't giving him any time to think deeply. With one hand holding a document, he held an apple slice to Lowell's mouth with the other. His icy expression paired with such gentle behavior made Lowell's chest feel warm and fuzzy, and he couldn't help but smile.
He's doing it again.
Lowell used to think Felix was simply being cute—that was why he smile. But now, looking back, he realized this might've been where it all started to go wrong.
There's nothing more dangerous than something you find adorable.
As he sighed deeply, a knock came at the door.
"Come in."
"Your Grace, I have a report regarding the magical beast you dealt with yesterday."
It was Tony, who burst in urgently—only to freeze and squeeze his eyes shut the moment he saw Felix feeding Lowell an apple. His expression said he never expected to see Felix doing something like that.
"Speak from there."
"I'd like you to examine the magic stone retrieved from the beast's corpse. It appears to be quite high-grade."
Felix furrowed his brow, then stood. Processed magic stone sold for high prices, but unprocessed ones were dangerous to handle without highly trained mages. And the most capable mage in Nyx...was Felix.
"I'll be back."
Before leaving, Felix released a thick wave of pheromones onto Lowell. Surrounded by the warm, smokey apple scent, Lowell suddenly stood up.
This is one of my rare chances.
He began thinking about where he could go to be alone.
If I keep moving, maybe they won't find me right away.
Outside, the sky had darkened. Lowell left a note on the table—{ Going for a short walk around the castle. I'll be back soon.}—and slipped out through the window. If he left through the door, the knight posted outside would definitely follow.
"Phew."
Stars slowly began to glimmer in the dusky sky. Pulling his coat tight, Lowell stepped into the crunching snow. The chill cleared his head.
"My Lord, why are you out alone?"
Avoiding every knight and servant wandering the grounds was impossible. Lowell didn't intend to vanish—he just wanted time to think—so he replied:
"I just felt a little suffocated. I'm walking it off."
"It's cold. Maybe you should head inside soon? It's not like the Capital, after all."
"I like Nyx. The snow is beautiful. I'll only be out a little longer."
The servant couldn't insist any further and watched Lowell walk away.
I should head back soon so Felix doesn't worry.
Lowell had come out to get away from Felix, yet was already thinking about returning—for no other reason than not wanting to make him anxious.
There's no denying it anymore, is there?
He clutched his pounding chest.
When was the last time I felt emotions this intense?
As he searched his memory, he realized that even during what he once thought was his first love, he'd never been this flustered. His heart had never raced like this, either.
Maybe it's just because I'm physically weak?
Lowell shook his head at the ridiculous thought and kept walking.
"Lowell!"
Suddenly, Felix appeared, hair in disarray, and grabbed Lowell's arm, turning him around.
"Your Grace?"
Lowell flinched at the unexpected touch—then gasped again when he saw Felix's face. He, who never even broke a sweat during intense training, had damp sweat at his throat, and his expression...looked as desperate as a lost child. The deeply furrowed brow made Lowell sigh without thinking.
"Where were you trying to go?"
The words that slipped through Felix's clenched teeth were low and wet, like a snake crawling through a dark abyss.
"Why are you avoiding me? Did I disgust you all of a sudden?"
Lowell realized his small, thoughtless act had stirred something deep and dark within Felix.