It had been a full fifteen minutes since the group chat fell silent.
Jiraiya: "—I'm so miserable!"
Even after dying heroically, he still hadn't managed to win over Tsunade. Was he truly doomed to never win her heart in this lifetime?
Jiraiya: "Nagato-sensei, I need comfort, you understand. Treat me to some sake."
You're the culprit here! Don't think you can run away! I won't forgive you unless—no, not unless, until—you buy me many, many drinks!
Nagato: "No problem, sensei. You're welcome to come visit the Hidden Rain Village in a few days. I'll personally pour your drinks to apologize."
The wandering dragon returns to the sea, but the sea does not welcome Jiraiya.
The thought popped into Jiraiya's mind, and his face instantly fell.
Like hell I'd dare to go there! [Insert shocked.jpg]
After replying to his teacher, Nagato messaged again, this time tagging two others:
Nagato: "Madara Uchiha, Zetsu—don't you two have anything to say?"
Uchiha Madara: "The strong rule over the weak. What's there to say?"
Hashirama Senju: "You say that, but Madara, weren't you also tricked by a so-called weakling?"
Madara, long used to Hashirama's constant teasing, showed no change in expression. He simply said coolly,Madara: "Zetsu, pick a place for us to fight. If you can survive against me, I'll let go of your deception. If not, that place will be your grave."
Black Zetsu: You think I dare to say anything?! [Insert terrified.jpg]
With two of the most powerful beings in the ninja world out for his blood, how could he possibly speak up? He vanished from the chat in an instant.
In short—run first, think later.
Obito Uchiha: "U! Chi! Ha! Madara! I'm going to kill you!"
Someone challenged him, so naturally, Madara accepted.Madara: "Heh~ Obito, I'll be waiting for you in the forest outside Konoha."
Minato Namikaze: "If there's a fight, count me in."
Kakashi Hatake: "Add me too."
Tobirama Senju: "Shimura Danzō, come to my lab. We need to talk."
Danzō Shimura: "......"
Karma will find you eventually. The heavens have eyes. Retribution comes for all.
[Insert "Autumn Settling Accounts.jpg"]
I thought I could hide it from sensei, but I was too naïve…If I had another chance, I'd confess everything early. Because—Hit and run is an even greater sin.
While Danzō wallowed in sorrow and Hiruzen Sarutobi secretly rejoiced, Tobirama continued:Tobirama: "Monkey, I know you're lurking in the chat. You come to my lab too."
The lurking Hiruzen instantly lost his smile and felt like crying.
I'm an old Hokage now, and you still want me to relive the punishment sessions from my student days?My dignity… gone! My reputation… gone!If I'd known this would happen, I would've just confessed everything instead of half-hiding it!
For a while, Konoha—and everyone connected to it—was abuzz, whether it was "talks" or "duels."
Sunagakure: Konoha sure is lively! [Insert popcorn.jpg]So jealous… wait, no—time to grab a small stool and watch the show!
Chiyo and Rasa secretly tracked the duel location of Madara and the others, planning to use the Eye of Sand to watch the spectacle.
Whoa—!!! The group chat is so lively!
Members from other worlds had their eyes sparkling. I love watching fights! Too bad I can't see it live…
Sigh… [Insert disappointed.jpg]
I want to see it, but I don't want to pay for a world-travel ticket.
Gintoki Sakata: "Boss Mu, I want a livestream feature too!"
During world boss events, there had been live broadcasts, but the actual streaming function hadn't been unlocked yet, so members couldn't use it freely.
In reality, Gintoki elbowed Mu Yang in the ribs. "Someone's calling for you in the group."
Mu Yang glanced at him. "I saw. I'm lurking."
"Then why aren't you saying anything?!" Gintoki glared.
"Not saying anything means I disagree." Mu Yang shot him a side-eye. "Why are you so worked up?"
"How can you not agree?!" Gintoki slammed the couch. "If you don't, how am I supposed to watch the fight?! Sure, it's a shame it's not a catfight between hot girls, but still—battles between top-tier fighters are great entertainment!
And besides, maybe one day someone will stream a hot girl doing… this or that… hehehe…"
Gintoki wiped the drool at the corner of his mouth, trying to look serious but failing miserably. "You're saying you don't want to watch that?"
Mu Yang: "......"
As expected of you, Gintoki.
I could never compete with that level of degeneracy.
Gintoki—the White Demon of Gintama, star spirit of the Sun and Moon, one of the "Three Problem Children" who give gods headaches in Little Garden—was, despite being female, a massive pervert. Openly so. Proudly so.
Key points: Problem child. Horny.
"I don't want to watch," Mu Yang said blankly. "But since you want to, fine—I'll unlock the livestream feature."
Tony Stark and Akihiko Kayaba exchanged subtle looks. Boss Mu, your morals have collapsed.
Mu Yang caught their glances and instantly understood what they meant.
He sneered inwardly.
With half the Gintama cast and Gintoki herself in this group, you think your moral integrity is going to last long?!
Let's all fall together! Lose our dignity as one!
Maybe back when he first became the owner of the Dimensional Store, Mu Yang had been a bit more reserved, thinking he should maintain his image as a sophisticated multiversal merchant. But after enough time passed…
You get it, right?
[Raises eyebrow.jpg]
Like when you first start a new job—you're all disciplined and diligent for the first few days. Then, once that initial energy runs out… you gradually turn into a seasoned slacker.
Gintoki didn't know about Mu Yang's inner monologue. Once she got his answer, she turned back to the group chat.
[Group Livestream Feature Unlocked]
Gintoki: "Hurry, hurry! Whoever's fighting, start a livestream!"
But no one did. No one even replied. The duelists collectively ignored her.
We're fighting for our lives here!Could you maybe be serious for once?!Keep this up and we'll gang up to PK you first!
Gintoki: "No volunteers? Fine, I'll post a bounty—hiring one war correspondent! Salary: 500,000 credits. Death in action includes resurrection service."
The group collectively: "???"
You're literally made of money?!
Say no more, this job is min—
Before anyone could finish typing, Black Zetsu jumped in:Black Zetsu: "I'll take the job."
Everyone collectively gasped. Black Zetsu, you madman! You're chasing death for money?!
With so many powerhouses after him, he still dared to show up right in front of them?!
Heh. If resurrection's included, then what's there to fear?
Black Zetsu: "Let's sign a contract first."
Living alone out there made him cautious—never trust a verbal offer. Confirm everything in writing to avoid getting scammed.
Gintoki: "No problem!"
Madara and the others stared at the screen, murderous intent flooding the chat.
Madara: "......"
Perfect. When the time comes—we kill the cameraman first!
One fight, one Zetsu!
-----------------------
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(End of Chapter)