Chapter 338: Sheldon's Deduction
At CalTech, in the cafeteria, during lunch break, four men, each with their own hidden agendas, sat with Sheldon, who seemed lost in thought.
"It's not what it looks like?" Sheldon muttered to himself. "I'm still thinking about the puzzle Penny left behind this morning. She and Rajesh came out of your bedroom; she was disheveled, and Rajesh was only wrapped in a blanket. The only clue is this one sentence."
"So, what have you figured out?" Ron asked casually, ignoring the desperate looks Rajesh kept shooting him. Since no one knew he was also involved, Ron didn't mind playing the curious bystander.
Since waking up this morning, he hadn't even had a chance to talk to Rajesh and Penny, the other two parties involved, about what had actually happened.
Judging from Penny's bewildered expression this morning, she probably knew as little as he did. But the Indian was another story; as everyone knows, Indians can drink like fish.
"Based on the information we have so far, the most obvious answer is that Penny and Rajesh had sexual intercourse. However, given the last message Penny left behind, we can rule out that possibility first."
Great, eliminating the correct answer first. Ron didn't believe for a second they were innocent.
"Please elaborate on your reasoning," Ron gestured for him to continue.
"First, Rajesh comes from a tropical country. The sanitary conditions in developing nations make parasites commonplace, such as pinworms. The diagnostic method for pinworms is to wait until the host falls asleep, at which point the pinworms emerge from the host's rectum to lay eggs..."
"Pfft!" Ron spat water onto Rajesh's face and burst into laughter: "Ha ha ha! So you think Penny was observing parasites crawling out of Rajesh's butt and helping him catch them, Sheldon?"
Sheldon nodded matter-of-factly.
"Pfft!" Another person became a human fountain, but this time it was Leonard, and the victim was still Rajesh. Although Rajesh's seat wasn't directly opposite Leonard's, who's to say Leonard didn't do it on purpose?
"They were having sex, you clueless genius!"
"No, you weren't listening carefully. Penny said..."
"She's lying!" Leonard explained in exasperation, while his eyes darted over to Rajesh with murderous intent.
"So now, for you, seeing your best friend and the woman you once loved having sex right where you sleep every night—doesn't it feel incredibly awkward?" As soon as Sheldon asked the question, the atmosphere at the table instantly plummeted from a semblance of feigned camaraderie to absolute zero.
"If you can't say something helpful, then don't say anything at all." Ron finally couldn't take it anymore and covered Sheldon's mouth, stepping in. He felt that if he didn't do something, this little group bound by friendship would immediately implode.
Considering that his research project wasn't finished yet, Ron himself would be the one who suffered the most from this disaster.
"Listen, guys, I suggest we lay everything out on the table, so you don't keep spiraling like this. Now, say what you have to say. Leonard, you start."
Ron pointed, and Leonard immediately launched an attack on Rajesh: "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Yeah, what are you doing?" Howard chimed in.
Rajesh said, annoyed, "What's it to you?"
"This time, I'm on Leonard's side," Howard declared.
Rajesh sneered, "Really? I bet you're just jealous. Turns out I'm Penny's second choice after Leonard."
"Please! If Bernadette and I weren't engaged, Penny would definitely have chosen me!"
"Gentlemen, let me correct you. If you're trying to turn this into a debate about who's more attractive, I think you're overlooking something. I'm the most attractive one here. If I wanted, I could snap my fingers and get Penny into bed."
Before they could reach a conclusion, Ron, feeling ignored, jumped into the fray. He even suspected that last night's events might have started with Penny trying to seduce him, and Rajesh just happened to ask if he could join in.
Then Penny probably waved her hand and said, "Sure, why not!" And that's how it ended up like this. However, Ron seriously doubted that he had actually participated in this activity, because he had briefly checked his stamina this morning and didn't feel particularly drained.
"I agree that Ron ranks higher, but I don't think your ranking is accurate. If I had to choose, Sheldon would be ahead of you, and he still looks like he's going through puberty!"
"Why are you so concerned about this? You're dating my sister right now!" Rajesh tried to find an ally: "Besides, I'm with Penny now, so we're practically brothers-in-law!"
"What?!" Leonard and Howard exclaimed simultaneously, while Ron just chuckled coldly. He could tell that Rajesh was about to make a catastrophic mistake.
Sure enough, Leonard immediately threw Rajesh under the bus: "Come on, Raj, you'd fall in love with any woman who just smiles at you. Last month you even wrote love poems to Howard's fiancée!"
"What?!" Howard was stunned. He never expected to get caught up in this drama himself.
"Uh... ignore him, he's talking nonsense!"
"Oh, Bernadette, please play my French horn!" Rajesh's face turned pale instantly, but Leonard had no intention of letting him off the hook, directly reciting a verse from his love poem—if it could even be called a poem.
"It could be someone else! There are so many people with the same name these days," Rajesh explained weakly, "besides, you don't need to worry—I'm Penny's boyfriend now."
"Correction, I am fully developed, not only intellectually superior but also aesthetically pleasing!" Sheldon interjected at the worst possible moment.
"Rajesh!" Howard's voice rose. "What about that love poem? I need an explanation! What happened between you and Bernadette?!"
"Hey! I swear, I just wrote her a love poem, nothing else happened! If you insist on knowing who had something going on with Bernadette, you should ask Ron! I once saw Ron and Bernadette together by a second-floor window in some weird position..."
Crash! Howard's plate fell to the ground and shattered. He never imagined Ron was involved.
If he was just angry before, now Howard felt like his world was collapsing: "Ron, you and Bernadette..."
(End of Chapter)
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