Back To The Woods it Is
It was underworld time. I'd only been there a few times before, when I was a soldier in the O.C.R. Sometimes we'd have to work as mercenaries, while other times, we worked for an associated guild. We geared up. Elaine put on her old mercenary outfit, while I just put on my armor. We only had one ship, so we decided to go together. It was actually fortunate, because the Kingdom of the Piqs and the Forgotten Forest were very much close to each other; they even shared a border.
We set the ship down in a small clearing in the forest, near the city entrance. We said our goodbyes and walked in directions opposite to each other. As we got closer to our destination, we saw a rapid change in scenery. The forest transformed into more of an overgrown area, with giant trees and mushrooms. No matter how many times I saw it, it still amazed me.
Forgotten Forest got its name not because people didn't know it was there, but instead, it was a place of new beginnings to say the least. When you wanted to party till you dropped, or you had a trashy past that you wanted to escape from, this was the place you had to go. The city of mercenaries, some might even say. It was the only place that was truly untouchable. There was a subconscious agreement between the major powers not to attack this place. There were people of all races, sizes, and backgrounds here.
We soon approached a familiar bar known as Stir Fry Sylvan's. They were a rather well-known bar. However, we weren't there for the food. We were there for their other services.
Elaine sat on one of the barstools.
"Hi, what would you like to order?"
"Can I get a triple shake of chocolate, on ice, 3 squirts of vanilla, a shot of vodka, with olives? Your spiciest variety?"
"Sorry, I didn't hear you properly. Can you say that again?"
"Siggghhhh... can I just see Floretta?"
"...Sure, follow me."
He led us to the staff room, where he opened up a locker. Inside was a small room with a mushroom growing in the middle.
"Place your hands on this. In 5 seconds, you should be able to meet Floretta."
"Thanks a lot."
"Anytime."
We placed our hands on the mushroom, and as he said, within 5 seconds, we were transported to another city. The city itself was in a subspace, making it impossible to get here if you didn't already know how. There was no sky. Only a roof that glittered like the night sky. Some people who had been here before had compared this to the city of gods.
Things were truly exquisite here. The roof changed as you got to the different parts of the city. The moon would turn red as you got to the black market, and the night would be moonless by the time you got to the alleys. To 'up' the fear factor. We headed down to the areas where the moon was present. We were going to one of the most famous Anti-Leader guilds. The parent guild to Silent Salvation. This guild was called Silent Sedition §. It was a prominent guild in the underworld and hated the Leader almost as much as I did.
If I were going to get help from anyone, that'd be the place. We walked into this office-looking building, and it was seemingly underwhelming. When the whole idea of a guild comes to mind, an office building really doesn't fit the bill. A receptionist was working at her desk. I approached the reception, but when she saw me, her eyes widened and she almost fell out of her chair.
"Oh my god! It's the Cookie Bandit!"
7 people who I didn't even know were there suddenly started asking for my autograph. It was crazy. I was like a celebrity here. I wasn't surprised. In fact, I was slightly enjoying it. Elaine, though, wasn't having any of it. She elbowed me hard in the ribs and gestured with her head toward the receptionist. I signed a few people's papers and then approached the receptionist again.
"I wanted to know if it would be possible to meet with Silent Sedition's Guild Master?"
"Of course it is! He'll be here in just a moment. Get comfy! There are drinks in the mini fridge if you'd like."
"Oh... okay, thanks," I said awkwardly.
Within moments, a mafia boss-looking guy comes out. He's wearing a dark maroon suit that barely fits him because of his muscles, a gold chain, and is holding a long antique cane. He has a goatee and a little bit of stubble on the top of his head. He's smoking a cigar, and he lets out a friendly smile. Contrary to his looks, he looks rather flustered.
"Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Cookie Bandit. Let's go up to my office. We can have a better talk there."
The receptionist looks disappointed, and the Guildmaster leads me up to the elevator. We go up to the top floor and he sits me down in his office. There's a desk off to the side and a small lounge at the center of the floor. There's a small kitchen with a brewery and a bed. The floor is marble, and every piece of equipment that's in this office is probably worth more than my paycheck for my entire service to the Leader.
"You sure know how to decorate the room. Your floors, even your walls. Everything is pristine."
"Thank you very much," he replied, "Now. I know you have some urgent business. Let's get that out of the way first."
"I like the straightforwardness. The main reason I came here was because I wanted to hire mercs from your guild."
"How many do you need. He said nervously."
"I'd need more than 100,000 men."
His eyes widened, "What! Are you trying to start a war?! Wait, no, that's a stupid question. Of course you are. It's the Leader. And I've always wondered what your end goal was. So... it's come to this."
"Yes, it has. I'm willing to pay any amount of money necessary to get what I want."
"I'm sure you do have a lot of money, but the problem is, we simply don't have enough soldiers to spare. Right now, we're in the middle of a guild war. I need all the men I can get."
"I can resolve it for you."
"Ah, that's a shame... what? You can resolve it for me? But... you're not a part of the guild."
"Ah, that was the other thing I was going to say. Along with the payment, I'm temporarily associating myself with the guild."
His jaw dropped. Quickly, he ran over to his desk, made a few phone calls, and rushed back, sweating.
"Alright. Here's the deal. If you can win the entire war for us, without us having to lift a single finger, the troops are yours. Pay is whatever. All I care about is my men not having to suffer."
"It's a deal then."
Elaine looked flabbergasted, "We don't have time for another war!"
"Elaine! These men aren't as strong as the Leader. What we need right now is a victory to boost our morale. We can do this."
I looked straight into her eyes, and she finally conceded.
A few days later, his assistant came over, relating to us the details regarding the war. It wasn't really much of a guild war, but just another unhappy guild.
The guild's name was 71 Mercenary Corps. A bland name for a bland guild. It was the name of the guild that Elaine and I used to work for. According to him, we technically didn't have to fight an entire war; we just had to take out the boss, which was this old guy named Hector. Seems like management had changed while we were gone. This all had to be done by the end of the week. So no reason why we couldn't do this tomorrow.
The next morning, we put on our gear. We were going full assault and assassination mode. Elaine slung a rifle over her back while I slung my sword. We went to this part of town, which looked a little more rundown than the others. Most houses were in shambles. They were missing shingles or had their windows broken in. In the middle of the place, though, there was a rich-looking building. It had a beautiful arched front gate and had a pool inside. It looked like paradise inside, and that meant that was where the guild was located. Not all guild buildings were like an office. Some were huge mansions, while others were towers. Some were even rundown taverns. I knew for a fact that the Guildmaster was watching. If he wasn't, I couldn't truly call myself a celebrity.
Elaine positioned herself on the roof of one of the houses. She had her sniper ready. I saw twenty thugs on the house's front lawn. They approached me, knives in hand. I shot them, without paying much heed. I ripped open the gates, giving me enough space to walk through. Thugs began to shoot without warning. Some even tried sniping me from far away. I had to admit. These mercs were skilled. More so than the normal soldier. But still. It was not enough.
I zoomed toward one of the thugs and stole his gun. I used that merc as a meatshield as I plowed through the rest of them. The sniper kept shooting at my head, but to no avail. I threw my meatshield at him, and he fell off the roof. I wanted to also show off that I wasn't just a meathead. I didn't go through the front door. Instead, I climbed up onto the roof and checked the mansion's window. I got in through the 2nd floor since everyone was facing away from me.
Carefully, I used a glass cutter and pulled out a size of glass big enough so I could get through. There were only 4 floors to the giant mansion. That meant that the boss was probably on the top floor. Elaine was carefully drawing attention toward herself and the first floor. One merc had his gun cocked. He was ready to fire when the Cookie Bandit came in. He wondered how he'd handle all 500 of them. Suddenly, the world went black.
He felt a jolt of pain, and then he felt nothing. One down. Quietly, all the men on the 2nd floor had vanished. One man rushed up the stairs to call for backup, but there was nobody there. Suddenly, 200 men had fallen from the ceiling. A noose was attached to their neck. Their eyes were up their head and their eyes and nose were bleeding.
The man stepped back, clearly not expecting this. But then he vanished too. The men on the first floor were absolutely getting annihilated. Even the tables couldn't protect them. The first floor was a dining area. They were having a nice dinner. The guards should have protected all of them, but one by one, they were systematically killed. The gang leader was the first to go. Without the confidence of their gang leader, they could not be complete. They were scared. They were scared of feeling what death truly meant. When they heard the reinforcements from the upper floors weren't coming. They realized that their fate was sealed.
Hector was annoyed. Why hadn't he heard back yet from any of his soldiers? He struggled to sit up in his chair. His gigantic pot belly jiggled as he moved. He swirled around his wine glass. It was only a matter of time. A beautiful lady came up the stairs and brought in a dish that smelled heavenly. He could only guess what was under the silver cloche. He put his handkerchief over his chest, and he made a gesture with his fingers as he prepared to dig in. He lifted up the metal, but there was only a gun! Elaine took it from the platter and shot his arm. He might be a fatass, but he was a valuable fatass.
Hector was quick. Unlike his flabby appearance, he stood up out of his seat and jumped back, clutching his arm. Elaine looked confused as his movements didn't match his body. She tried using physical attacks, but she just bounced off his ginormous figure. I came in soon after, only to see the world's strangest fight. A man so fat, he'd need a crane to be lifted, moving almost as fast as the Leader. They were too close in range to have a proper gun fight, and the bouncing was making him go faster, but it was also making the house shake on its foundation.
The cookie bandit ate a biscuit and punched Hector. He could see ripples moving along the far as it contracted hard. He flew out of the building and belly flopped in the pool, and he was knocked out. Elaine wasn't annoyed at my intervention. She was just clueless about what the hell just happened. We went to the pool to receive the carcass. As we were leaving, they saw a guy with a machine gun, but we used Hector to defeat him as the bullets just bounced back at the guy, killing him instantly.
We presented his body to the Guildmaster.
"Seeing it for myself is truly different than on a camera. Wow. How'd you manage to defeat a guy like this? Every attack just bounces off of him."
"I punched him hard enough."
He was slightly confused at my simple answer, but he shrugged and moved on. The assistant scribbled something in his notes and left.
"How come there were so few people? I asked.
"Well, you kind of deviated from the way it was supposed to go. Ahh, I'm not complaining. It's just that normally they would've come to us. We would've had a big fight, and we might be near the brink of extinction. We move to a different location, and this happens for maybe a year at most until we run out of men and die, or we surrender. Since you went ahead over to their main headquarters, shot it up, and captured their boss, they're forced to surrender. You just saved us time, effort, and thousands of lives. Thank you!"
__________________________________________________________________
The assistant turned on his earpiece.
"Leader? Sir!"
"What is it?" demanded the Leader.
"I have news of the Cookie Bandit!"
"You have done well. Where is he now?"
"He is here in the underworld, sir."
"Keep a watch on him and tell me when he leaves."
"Will do, sir. You are aware of what's coming right?"
"Aware of what ?"
"War is imminent. I would assume you've prepared by now?"
"Worry about yourself. I've done my part. The invasion is nearly upon us. In our final battle, I will be victorious."
"I honestly couldn't care less who came from the sky. Just make sure you've kept your promise."
"Just do your part. He's fine where he is."
"Just so we're clear, the moment he dies, deal's off. You'd better keep your promise."
"As of now, he's alive. Do your part, or that might change."
"...I understand. Do you need me to sabotage them?"
"No, don't bother. There's no hidden enemy. The only way this is going to end is through war. We're both prepared for what's coming. Everything will end soon"
"I see. I shall respect your wishes."
"Then this is the Leader signing off."
__________________________________________________________________
Prince Axl, Michael, and Bucket had made it to the city by this point. It was huge and reminded Prince Axl a lot of the city at Citadel Corvac. The land was lush and green, but it wasn't as forested compared to the Forgotten Forest. There were a few trees here and there, but it was mostly just a meadow. Then, there was the familiar banner of the Piqs: a deep blue shield with gold borders, grapevines twisting around it. In the center of the shield, there was a wine bottle, a closed book, and some reading glasses on top of the book.
This land was firmly rebel territory. The people were nice. They couldn't recognize either of us, which was probably for the better. That would probably mean that the Leader couldn't find them. Since Bucket was taking charge this time, he decided to lead the group down to the main palace to start. It took around an hour, but they finally made it. There were two towers at the front and two guards protecting the gate that led to the drawbridge. As they approached, the guards blocked the gate with their spears.
"Who goes there?" asked one of them.
"We've come to see Prince Cadmus," said Bucket confidently.
"Why should we let you in?" asked another guard," What makes you think that you're important enough to be able to meet with our esteemed prince?"
"We saved his life back at North Rock; we just wanted to have a little chat with him."
"How dare you lie! Prince Cadmus escaped on his own at North Rock! How dare you imply that he lied!"
"Forget we said anything," groaned Michael, "This isn't worth our time."
They returned to the forest and continued planning.
"How are we supposed to get the support now?!" Bucket complained.
"Simple," said Prince Axl, "We break in!" he gestured with his fist, punching his hand.
"Well, Bucket, what are we going to do?" said Michael, turning to Bucket.
"What if... we did the same thing we did back when we infiltrated North Rock?"
"Mind telling us?"
Bucket quickly recounted the tale, sparing no details. Their eyes widened.
"That crazy man! I can't tell whether this is foolish or not."
"It probably is, but it might be our best chance. We don't know whether the prince is in or out ,and even if he was, yelling at the guards is just going to get us imprisoned. This is our best chance."
Michael took a deep breath, "Ok, how are we going to go about this?"
"I'll be your eyes. I'll make sure nobody is coming, and you guys will need to find him. If you can't find him in 20 minutes, then you must turn back. I'm not good at playing politics, so I couldn't handle the negotiations anyway."
"Yeah, that's fine. The Cookie Bandit just wanted you to get experience in Leadership anyway, we'll teach you the hard stuff later."
They all nodded and got into position. The guard patrolled every 10 minutes. The turrets on the side of the tower were automatic and shot a small electrified net at anything that moved. Bucket shoved his back against the wall and tested every spot with stones to find a blind spot. It was in between the walls. The turrets couldn't turn far enough to see them, and the nets kept getting snagged on the wall. It was perfect. Prince Axl and Michael took out a cookie and destroyed it over their boots. Crumbs fell, lighting them up the carefully carved magic circuits. They got into position. 3...2...1... whoosh!
They ran up the wall and then shot their grappling hooks, which attached themselves to the top of one of the towers. They quickly got on the roof of the castle and split up. Michael took the left while Prince Axl took the right. First window, nothing, just the top of the stairwell. Second window, a dining room. Third window, a bathroom. Oh crap, was somebody showering?! Prince Axl removed his face from the window quickly, turning a bright red. Just like that, 20 minutes had passed by. But they still hadn't checked every window! Wait, but there was one more left.
"I found it!" exclaimed Michael. He waved to Prince Axl. They peered through the window. There was a guy around their age, wearing glasses, and reviewing papers. They knocked on the glass, and the guy looked up and stumbled backwards, clearly not expecting this unexpected visit. He opened the window and popped his head out.
"Give me one good reason and tell me why I should call the guards on you?"
"We're here to see Prince Cadmus. As a price for saving him, we want him to at least listen to our request. Whether he says yes or no doesn't matter."
"... come inside."
He let us in and helped us inside the room. It was a rather lavish but cozily decorated room. There was a small desk off to the side, a bear rug at the center of the floor, along with a glass table and two cozy couches that were facing each other. There was a fireplace facing the desk, which was near the couches. There was a deer skull on the mantle of the fireplace, and they could hear the ticking of a small clock across from the window.
They all sat down on the couches, and the Prince crossed his legs.
"So, what did you want to tell me?"
"The Cookie Bandit is rallying up people for the war. We wanted to know if you are able to join us in our pursuit. We know that the Lava cake faction solely exists to defeat the Leader. This is the time to strike!"
"Unfortunately, we cannot part with any soldiers. I'm afraid I'll have to escort you out."
"What? But isn't it as he said? Your whole goal is to fight the Leader. When you find someone else whose main goal aligns with yours and is actually good at it, why wouldn't you want to join them?"
"Watch your tone, peasant!"
"Prince Axl of Corvac. Nice to meet you!" exclaimed Prince Axl aggressively.
"Prince Axl! You don't need to get so angry."
"What are you talking about?! That man refuses to take a good opportunity. Doesn't he realize that if the Cookie Bandit defeats him and they didn't help, they'd be lowering their own prestige?!" exclaimed Prince Axl.
"Calm down. That's not even Prince Cadmus."
The Prince raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"
"I met Prince Cadmus back when the Cookie Bandit and I rescued him. He saw my face. When I looked at you for the first time in a while, you showed no hint of recognition, just shock. You also looked much older and even had some gray hair. I had attributed that to you just having a lot of stress, but your demeanor as well. When I had met your brother many months ago, he was timid. But most of all, he was grateful."
A sly smile formed at the Prince's mouth, "I suppose there's no point in hiding it now. Let me introduce myself again. I am Prince Caylen Piquant. 1st prince of the Piqs."
"You can come out now, Cadmus!"
Prince Caylen turned around. The door barely creaked open, and from behind came out Prince Cadmus.
"How long were you listening for?!" exclaimed Prince Caylen, surprised.
"Actually, I had come to you for something else, but now that they're here, we might as well discuss it."
Prince Cadmus sat down. "So, uh, the thing is, Caylen's answer was partially true. But that's because we've lost a major commander to the Tide faction. They came out of nowhere and started killing a bunch of our troops. Our commander was taking care of it, but then ended up being captured. I don't even know how that's possible! They weren't even that strong!"
Michael's expression darkened, and he said, "Of course, there's a way. The only possible way is if that's true. That means that the Tide faction has aligned themselves with the Leader."