If you've ever thought, "Things can't get any worse", allow me to assure you: yes, yes they can.
Because apparently, my witch employer had decided that an arcade wasn't flashy enough for the next stream.
No, tonight's content was labeled on the schedule as:
"Blood Moon Ritual (Family Friendly Edition)"
I didn't even want to ask.
---
We were standing in the middle of a rooftop again—different rooftop, same sketchy vibe. Red lanterns hung from the edges, casting eerie shadows over Seraphina's chalk-drawn circle. My camera was rolling, live chat already spamming emojis like it was a rave.
> [CHAT]
"👀👀👀 what's she summoning??"
"pls not another slime bro"
"i swear cameraman is in danger again 💀"
"nah he'll survive, he always survives"
"Why are we doing this?" I asked, trying not to trip over the ritual lines.
"Because, Elias," Seraphina replied, arranging candles like she was setting up a TikTok aesthetic video. "The algorithm demands escalation. You can't just feed it frogs and slime forever. No, the audience wants blood."
"Blood." I stared. "And you're adding 'family friendly edition' to that?"
She just smiled and lit the candles. "Brand safety, darling."
---
She began chanting words that sounded like someone mixed Latin with bad Wi-Fi signals. The sky answered. The clouds thickened, glowing red. A shiver ran down my spine.
And then the rooftop cracked.
From the circle rose something that looked like a bull if a bull had been possessed by a rave DJ—horns crackling with neon lightning, eyes glowing crimson.
Chat went nuclear:
> [CHAT]
"HOLY HELL BOSS RAID???"
"this ain't family friendly 😭😭😭"
"bro cameraman about to die"
"nuh uh, cameraman is INVINCIBLE"
I immediately took three steps back. "Nope. Not today."
The bull roared, electricity arcing. One bolt struck directly at me—
—And somehow hit a rusty air conditioner unit instead, which exploded like fireworks. Sparks everywhere, but me? Not a scratch.
Chat lost their minds.
> [CHAT]
"AGAIN??? HOW???"
"plot armor is insane"
"not even Zeus could smite this man"
Seraphina, meanwhile, looked half proud and half frustrated. "Elias… you were supposed to look in peril."
"I was in peril!" I yelled, still holding the camera steady like my life depended on it. "Do you not see the lightning?!"
The bull charged. I stumbled backward, camera still rolling, and tripped over a stray mop bucket some janitor had left behind. The bucket tipped, water spilled—right as the bull's electrified hoof hit the puddle.
CRACK!
The neon bull electrocuted itself, twitched dramatically, then collapsed into a pile of smoke and glitter.
The crowd in chat went feral.
> [CHAT]
"Cameraman soloed the boss with a MOP BUCKET 💀💀💀"
"bro doesn't fight, he just EXISTS and things die"
"this is better than any anime rn"
"invincible cameraman sweep 🔥🔥🔥"
I lay flat on the rooftop, gasping, camera somehow still in my hands.
Seraphina crouched beside me, brushing glitter off my jacket. "I'm starting to think you're not human."
I wheezed. "No, I'm just… lucky."
She smiled slyly, her eyes glowing faintly red. "Then, my dear cameraman, we shall test how lucky you truly are."
---
That night, as the stream wrapped up and the chat spammed endless memes, one thing gnawed at me harder than the fact I nearly got fried:
What if she was right?
What if this wasn't luck at all?
And if so… what the hell was I?