I sat cross-legged on the apartment floor, my phone in my hands, staring at the contacts screen like it held the answer to everything. Evelyn. Dad. Both names stared back at me, impossible to press.
What could I even say?
Hi… I'm in Berlin. A guy I barely know brought me here. Oh, and I'm pregnant.
Yeah. That sounded insane, even in my head.
I glanced over at Lukas, who was quietly in the kitchen, humming softly while making tea. I couldn't tell him I was thinking about calling anyone. Not yet. He already knew. Somehow. And that scared me more than any stranger on the street.
I tapped Evelyn's name. My thumb hovered over the call button.
Do I tell her everything? Do I say nothing?
I imagined her voice on the other end, light and full of concern, probably panicked the second I spoke. And I realized I wasn't ready for her worry — or my dad's. Not like this. Not yet.
I set the phone down and hugged my knees to my chest. I hadn't told anyone — not Evelyn, not Dad, not even Lukas directly. And somehow, that felt heavier than the city around me.
"Thinking about calling?" Lukas asked, appearing in the doorway. He leaned casually against the frame, hands in his pockets, eyes calm.
"Maybe," I admitted, looking down at my hands. "I don't know what to say."
He nodded slowly. "You don't have to say anything until you're ready. And… you're safe here. That's what matters for now."
I wanted to tell him I was scared. That I didn't know if I could handle this — the pregnancy, Berlin, keeping Evelyn in the dark. But I just nodded.
Later, I found myself texting Evelyn anyway. Short, vague messages, careful not to give away too much:
Hey… I'm okay. Just… in Berlin for a bit. I'll explain later.
I didn't press send. Not yet.
Sitting there, staring at the unsent messages, I realized that hiding everything felt both protective and lonely. And the hardest part wasn't the city or the danger lurking outside — it was keeping my secret from the people I loved.
And I didn't even know that Lukas already knew the one secret I couldn't bring myself to share.