Suicide is the most selfish act, driven by nothing but emotions you don't understand; lost of all logic. The hope you had once has sunk deep into your soul. Unable to find it you resort to pain, succumbing to the whispers of the devil. In the end, you will think about yourself and yourself only wishing you had lived longer, given a chance; wishing to turn back time and realize your true feelings sooner.
I'm scared of death, yet I seek an answer to my pain. How will it stop?
Before then I concluded: Suicide.
It was a lonely morning, I had gotten ready for school. Walking alone in this slight breeze in autumn.
Honestly, I thought to myself on my walk to school, admiring the multi-colored trees: 'Maybe life is worth living after all' Part of me wished those walks to school lasted forever, yet I knew my time was only finite.
I got to school safely, and it was all the same. The same group of girls gossiping about stupid stuff, and you could hear everything clearly.
*Scoff*
So much for their attempt at keeping a low voice.
I got to my classroom, it was just me and another loner girl:We often kept each other company, since we both came to class early.
She's just a weirdo… but really who am I to say that I'm normal? I mean she certainly made my mornings brighter, in a way she gave me a reason to actually come to school.
We would often discuss our favorite games and shows, I mean she was really the only "friend" I had.
When I first saw her, she wasn't really this talkative, and quite frankly, neither was I.
I think the fact we both met–meant a lot to both of us.
Her name was Belle Argent, a soft-spoken girl; Her eyes were diamond blue (yet I couldn't see them most of the time due to her stupid foggy glasses!) Her hair was silver and quite thick… always called me "Servant" She had quite the imaginative mind.
I saw her yet again this morning, she smiled at me while reading a book, she greeted me: "Hello Zenith! Wanna talk about the plot of this book I'm reading?" I declined thinking it was another one of her weird books.
She was persistent: "I promise it's a normal book this time!" She pleaded.
I eventually gave in with a distressed look on my face,
"Ugh.. fine." I said.
The book was about fantasy stories of the old world. She showed me a topic about vampires, a race that is rarely seen. People even doubt their existence.
Belle: "Do you think they really exist? I think it'd be wonderful to be a vampire."
Zenith: "They're man-eating creatures.. C'mon.." I sigh: "Why would you wanna feast upon humans?"
Belle, scoffs, in a playful tone uttering: "You'd be the first person I eat."
I snatch the book off her hands! Closing it. I informed: "Class's just about to begin.. seriously .. I wish you'd focus on school as much as your stupid books." I sighed.
Rather than pouting, she just gave me the middle finger! Ugh, she's seriously not cute at all!
I put the book inside her locker at the back of the class.
Class began, her seat next to mine, I tried asking her for a spare pencil.. she ignored me out of pure pettiness .. Throwing the middle finger at me yet again. Seriously! Will she stop doing that?!
She ignored me throughout the whole day, ignoring me–flipping me off at every chance! "Blehh.." Or so she said.
The school day had ended, so I decided to apologize to her to feel good about myself later.
She accepted my apology.. but on a condition, Bell: "You have to treat me to Uncle Ro's noodles! Otherwise, I'm not complying."
Just how petty could she get! .. Still I acquiesced, "Ugh… fine let's go right now." Bell scoffed.
We walked out of the school looking at the view of the sea in front of our school. The nature was quite beautiful, the trees swaying gracefully.
As we were walking, Belle stopped walking, "Hey Zenith.. before we go eat at Uncle Ro's, let's go to the mall. I need to buy the new limited edition Manininya figurine."
I said: "Fine.", We went ahead and bought her stupid cat magical-girl figurine, standing in line for nearly 2 hours, I was exhausted. Then she had another request: "Zeni, let's go to the library.. I have to buy my GL— Ah.. I mean my fantasy novel."
I gesture my hands up & down: "Sure.. sure, fantasy novel. "
She stared at me intently.
I sighed, with a somewhat dissatisfied look on my face, "Do we really have to buy this fantasy novel of yours?"
She murmured: "It's limited editio—"
I point my finger towards her!: "Is everything limited edition or what!?"
Belle, smirking, utters: "Oh well.. shall we go ahead.. to buy my fantasy book"
I suffice and accompany her to the library.. Hold on.. Wait.. Aren't I essentially being her escort now?
When we arrived at the library, for some reason Belle gave me a weird look.. Before I knew it, she uttered to me: "I usually order my fantasy novels online.. Zenith Alciel.. May I ask you something?"
I gulped: "What is it?"
Belle, with a smug look on her face, spoke: "Aren't you my best friend right?"
I nod.
Belle: "Ah.. It seems that I am too embarrassed to buy my fantasy novels. So would you go ahead and buy me it.. BSF."
I pinch my nose: "Of course it had to come to this.. In no way I of all people buying that! Just who do you take me for?!"
Using her dirty tricks, she persuaded me by saying: "I'll throw our competitive ranked games—"
My face, all serious, without a second thought I went ahead to buy the novel, "Enough. You don't have to say more."
Belle: "Very well.. Oh .. And the name of the novel is: 'Scissored Hearts!' Get me the limited edition."
I thought to myself: 'That certainly does not sound like a fantasy novel.' But the stakes were too high for me to think about it.
I marched on, without shame, I pulled the novel out of the bookshelf. I walked towards the counter–*thud* The book was on the counter.
The librarian chuckled: "You're certainly a brave one.. That'll be 250 Fliece."
The librarian adjusted her glasses.
I spoke: "Don't get the wrong idea. I'm doing this for my friend."
Librarian: "Very well, I admire your loyalty towards that gal over there.. So are ya dating her?"
I cross my arms and affirm: "Absolutely not!"
I walk back towards Belle, my head down the whole way.. Due to the gaze piercing my heart.
I handed over the book to her, "Here." I was quite flustered since I bravely bought a GL book in front of everyone in the library.
Belle: "Thanks BSF."
Zenith: "Why are you saying the abbreviation out loud.."
Belle: "Does it matter? BSF"
Zenith: "Let's just get to Uncle Ro's"
So we march on to Uncle Ro's!
We walk into the restaurant and greet Uncle Ro: "Hey.. Uncle Ro! The usual please." My usual was ramen with shrimp toppings.
Uncle Ro: "And for you? Young lady, is it also the usual?"
Belle: "Yes my X3 Spicy Ramen as per usual." She pushed back her foggy glasses.
I thought to myself 'What the hell is she made of?'
We ate and got done in silence.
Uncle Ro: "Another bowl, eh?"
I said: "I've had enough for today.. Besides, it's getting quite late."
Belle: "Thank you for the meal."
Belle thanked Uncle Ro for the meal, and so we started walking home.
Before that Uncle Ro pulled me aside and said: "Walk the young lady home, eh?" I dismissed him since our relationship wasn't like that.
Suddenly Belle stopped midway through our walk. I said: "What's up?" Confused as to why she stopped.
Belle: "Can we take a little detour to the beach?"
Zenith: "Huh? But it's late at night—"
Belle: "C'mon the beach is just not too far off! It wouldn't hurt to sit in the sand for a bit."
Zenith: "Fine, I guess.. If you say so."
Just for a bit there, her glasses revealed her lovely diamond-like eyes.
We got to the beach and took off our shoes. We laid upon the sand.. Our eyes fixated on the waves reflecting the starry sky.
Breaking the silence, Belle spoke: "Thank you.."
I said: "For what?"
Belle: "For everything.. If I hadn't met you or talked to you on that morning, I would've never seen this view and many other views… You..You showed me that life could be this beautiful, honestly prior to meeting you.. I would've never admired the sky, the trees, the sea, and most of all.. People."
I stood there.. not knowing what to say. At a loss for words, I felt the same as her yet I couldn't find the right words to say.
Belle: "Before meeting you.. I wanted to die—"
???: "Oh really?"
Just then we heard a loud feminine voice from afar. I looked right-I looked left.. I saw nobody.
Belle was confused.
I wanted to tell her at that moment: That I felt the same.
A tall woman appeared before our eyes.. The edges of her ears were quite long. She wore a black and green dress, her eyes were red. Pupils like a predator.
Zenith: "U-Uh how may we help you ma'am?"
I thought to myself 'Hold on where did she appear from..'
Lady in green: "So.. you–Little girl, you said you wanted to die, right?"
Something about this lady.. was frightening. My guts told me to run.
Belle was frightened, her face full of horror unable to speak. A shy girl under pressure.
I spoke: "E-Excuse me Lady, but this does not concern you at all."
That was weird. Why did I stutter?
Lady in green: "Who told you to speak little boy."
My heart sank. This lady.. has something off about her.
I grabbed Belle's wrists: "Let's go home Belle." We stood up and started walking home.
Suddenly she appeared in front of me again as I blinked. "What the hell.." I said under my breath.
Lady in green: "Hey! Come on give me this little girl–she openly declared she wanted to die."
Belle held onto me tightly, I could feel her boobs pressing on my body. But now was not the time to think about that!
Zenith: "Could you leave us alone, Lady?"
Lady in green: "How could I leave my meal alone?"
I had not noticed.. But her fangs! She was a vampire! They really exist after all?!
What the hell?! I thought to myself to be perceptive.. How could I not realize what she was earlier.
I was too scared to act. I tried speaking but I was trembling–Words could not come out of my mouth.
Why was I scared of death? Didn't I want to die? Belle was also trembling, I had to keep my cool.. and take responsibility.. So we ran.
I was crying from inside: "I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!"
I had not realized it but I was crying comically.
Belle who was afraid and scared of being her meal started crying too!
Belle: "I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!"
We ran up and down through stairs, alleyways, and landmarks.
We reached an abandoned shack in the mountains and took cover.
Belle: "WAHH!! I'm gonna die.. I'm gonna die.. Zeni!" Sniffling and holding on tight to me.
Her boobs pressing on my chest, My body was tense.. Tears fell down my face. That darned vampire ruined a confession scene!
I could've lived my best life after that, I had a reason to live.. I coop up into the corner of the shack. And start biting my nails. I had another reason to die now.
Hold on.. Why were we in a shack.. up in the mountains.. far from everybody else.
And people said horror movies were inaccurate.
I died inside at that moment. Belle's tears drenched my uniform, I cried harder the fact that this wasn't even my lowest moment in life.. was sad enough.
Belle, Sniffling on my chest: "I'm scared!! Sh-She ruined my confession scene! Uwagh!!" She sneezed all over me.
I'd rather have other sticky liquids all over my body.
*Knock* *Knock*
My tears stopped flowing, I embraced death. This was it, I could do nothing at all.. I was powerless.
The lady in green, the She-Vampire barged in through the door: "You're supposed to welcome me in, humbly!"
I stood up. The least I could do before dying is being heroic. Even though we were both practically dead at that point.
I stood up, trembling, my legs shaking, my voice all shaky: "I offer my life in her stead!"
What the hell! Since when was I so heroic?!
Belle, her voice all shaky, a river streaming down her eyes: "I'll be content .. *sniffle* with being the heroine for now." She sniffled.
She-Vampire: "Oh my? You're certainly a brave one."
Where have I heard those exact words before? No! That doesn't matter, I have to offer my life now.
She-Vampire: "State your name, boy— Hold on.. I haven't introduced myself yet." She scratched her head.
Introducing herself, she spoke: "Very well!
I am Selpharia Moongale.
She who strikes one with the wind—the wind is all mine.
I am she as gentle as a flower, yet bound to fan wind towards my enemy."
'Just kill me already' I thought.
I wipe my tears, facing towards Belle, I utter: "Belle.."
Belle: "Huh?" The background turned pink and sparkly.
Zenith: "Would you.."
Belle thought: 'E-Eh?! He's confessing right here and now?!"
Zenith: "Would you let me feel your boobs again—Press them against my chest again! .. It's the least you could do." Tears fell down my cheeks.
Belle: 'What— NO! I need to suffice, it's a dying man's last wish!'
Tearing apart her uniform, tears in her eyes: "Go ahead! Z-Zeni!!!"
I crouched, hugging her, feeling her boobs press against my chest one last time.
I see Emiya Shirou.. This is what you felt.
I didn't wanna let go. I felt comfort as I hugged her, she gave me warmth.. Well you could interpret that in two ways.
In a way— No she saved me. She is my pillar, keeping me alive.
I blurted: "Thank you.. Your boobs feel great."
Belle, calmed down somewhat: "You're welcome."
I stood up, my chin held high, introducing myself: "I am Zenith Alciel! Take my life at once."
Selpharia: "Very well."
She came closer to me, grabbing my neck gently. Her soft, gentle touch lingered throughout my body, bringing me into a hug.. My face drowned in her boobs!
No! I didn't wanna die while my face was drowned in somebody's boobs! This time I had actual tears, that of a dead man inside, flowing down my eyes.
Belle sitting pathetically on the ground, with her shirt unbuttoned, yelled with all her might: "Zeni! I love you!"
WHY CONFESS NOW OF ALL PLACES?!
I wanted to be alive more than anything when I heard those words. Usually, you'd expect the protagonist to get a power-up here.. But I was utterly weak.
The only thing I could do was get my feelings out too: "I love you too! Belle!"
Selpharia: "Was that enough? May I suck on your blood now?"
I said nothing.
Selpharia came around to my neck, her jaw widening, her fangs about to pierce my neck.. This was it.
To say I wasn't scared was a lie, I felt fear. Yet in her arms I weirdly felt at peace.. Like a mother caressing her child's head.
A part of me thought, maybe just maybe I was content with dying this way.
A question echoed through my head: "Was death really that scary?"
I passed out.