Sometimes it felt like Matthew loved to speak anything that came to his head without thinking about it. No one in their right mind would suggest eloping when a monster was near to us like a giant shadow.
"Have you finally lost your mind, Matt?" I scoffed. "Run away? Do you think he'll let us live after that?"
"That's why we should escape to the place where he can't find us. I have relatives in one of the towns in Germany. Maybe we can go there. He might search for us for a year or a maximum of three years. We are not worth his time, Elira."
"You have totally lost it. I am not doing it."
We both looked at each other, disappointed. He then sat beside me, silently, lost in thoughts. We kept quiet without making any sound while our heads were filled with the same thoughts but different approaches.
"I said what I felt was right. I only want our happiness. I only want the best for you. Think about it."
"Matt! If we do what you suggested, what's next? What about Mira?"
"Do you think I'd exclude your sister? Many things might've happened between us, but Mira will always be a little sister to me. My relationship with her and our bond doesn't change."
"So you are suggesting you, me, and Mira go to some other country, leaving everything behind and starting a new life?"
Even though it felt impossible, I loved the idea. Leaving everything behind and starting a new life with my sister felt really good.
He nodded. "Yes! You'll get some job, I'll again start as a teacher or something related, and Mira will continue her studies. I am not suggesting we three live together, but… I'd love to do it if you agree. Else, we can continue our lives separately. But… I'd love to take care of you both."
"Matt! Even if I agree to this idea, it will not be because I want to live with you. It will be because I want Mira to be happy and for her future." I pressed my hands together as I mustered up the courage to say, "It will not be about you. I decided to let go of you, Matt."
"I know." A small smile appeared on his lips. "Even now, you are saying you decided to let go of me but not that you stopped loving me. Even if we both stop loving each other, we always come back." He looked into my eyes. "I always come back to you. I told you this before, and I'll tell you again and again that… I will never love any other woman like I love you, Elira."
He then stood straight, saying, "I want to escape from this madness, Elira, but I don't want to leave you alone even if you push me away. Either it's peace or suffering, I want us both to be in it. Together."
Before walking away, he looked at me one last time, hoping I'd stop him and agree to whatever he said, but breaking his heart, I left for Mira's room without saying anything.
"I am sorry for shouting at you." Mira apologized as soon as I returned. "But it really hurt me to…"
I pulled her into a hug, interrupting her. "Mira! I will handle this. Don't think much."
She tried to speak, but I walked away. Even though I left the hospital, I didn't go to the Villa. I sat in the garden, losing myself in my thoughts, and when it turned dark, the guards asked me if I was ready to return to the villa.
With all the thoughts eating up my head, I reached the villa and went to my bedroom to see Mr. Wolfe standing near the bed.
"Mr. Wolfe?"
He turned around to look at me but didn't say anything. The flower bouquet in his hands made me wonder which one of his fangirls gifted it to him.
"I didn't know you were back already."
"Yeah! I reached just now. Did you go to the hospital?"
I simply nodded. When he was not leaving, I asked, "Do you want anything?"
Slowly, he stepped towards me and extended his hands to give me the bouquet, which surprised me.
"For me?" A stupid question came out of my mouth.
"Is there anyone else here?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Oh!" I took it into my hands while my cheeks glowed with a shade of pink. "Um… thanks!"
How strange was it that we could see each other naked but feel shy while doing simple things? We both couldn't even look into each other's eyes.
"Anyway! I need coffee."
"But, it's dark. You may not sleep if you drink it now."
"That's fine. I want it."
I tried to convince him, but he didn't listen and quickly walked out of the room.
As I looked at the mixed flower bouquet, each flower symbolizing different aspects of love and life, a bright smile appeared on my lips, but before I felt the entirety of happiness, I recalled my meeting with Matthew, which took away from happiness and got replaced with never-ending thoughts and worries.
After placing the flowers in the vase, I walked to the kitchen and prepared coffee for both of us. His craziness got into my head, making me crave coffee at unusual times.
Sitting on the patio, we both had our coffee, silently enjoying the breeze. It felt like an hour of peace after the stressful day, and the bracelet around his wrist made me happy.
"You are again wearing the bracelet." I said after taking a sip of the coffee.
His fingers grazed on it for a moment before he spoke, "Such a beauty! It's a waste if I throw it away."
"Since when did Mr. Wolfe start to adore cheap things?"
He didn't reply to it and retained his smug expression as if he wanted to show me he didn't want to forgive me for my violations.
But I didn't want to ignore it this time. I had been drowned in confusion for so long, and I decided to get a clarification for my future.
"Mr. Wolfe!" I looked at him. "Mira needs proper education. I know you still didn't forget about my violations, but… this is too much. I need to take care of my sister, so can you let me work outside?"
He put the coffee mug down angrily and said, "I already told you. Except at Hydes, that too, only for me, you are not allowed to work anywhere else."
I clenched my palm, trying to control my anger. I tried to sound as soft as possible but I failed. "My sister might not like it. Okay, fine!" I also put my mug down and asked seriously, "Let's say I stay with you until this contract ends and somehow manage everything… But can you give me the guarantee that this contract won't again extend for whatever reason? Can you give me your word you'd let me go after the contract ends?"
His jaw clenched while his eyes turned red in anger. He stood straight furiously and tried to walk away, but I shouted, stopping him from leaving.
"Mr. Wolfe! You won't end this contract, you won't let me work anywhere else, and you won't take care of my sister's needs. This is insane. You've punished me long enough…" I felt tired, both physically and mentally. "Please stop this madness. There's only so much a person can take. Please let me go now. Mira doesn't like what I am doing. At least for her, I need my freedom."
"Do you seriously think I fucking care what your sister likes?" He grabbed my forearm angrily. "You want answers? Then listen to me carefully." The anger in his eyes started to scare me. "This contract won't end easily, and if I want, I'll make you serve this contract your whole life. I won't let you work anywhere else because I fucking hate it when you obey others' orders. And your sister… I'll take care of her when I feel like you are only loyal to me and not wanting to kiss another man, so you better not question me again."
And in such moments, I saw no choice but to think Matthew was right, which heightened my emotions.
As if the sky had also been losing its calm, recently the rain began falling at the most unusual times, even though it wasn't the season for it. Just like now.
"Why?" I looked at him with my tear-filled eyes. "Why won't you let me go?"
"Don't you know?" He pulled me closer, furiously.
"No!" I shook my head and shouted while tears rolled down my cheeks, "I don't know anything that goes on in your manipulative head. I don't even want to know anything. Just let me go."
"YOU ARE FUCKING MINE!" He yelled, pressing each word. "And, I am not letting you go, and this contract will not end."
"Why? Why? Why?" I lost my control and started shouting loudly, dominating the sound of the thick rain droplets hitting the ground.
"Because I love you, dammit!"
For a moment, everything stopped. Our fight, the noise, even my thoughts. Love? From him? My stomach tightened, my throat went dry, and a rush of emotion flooded me so quickly it left me trembling. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I had braced myself for his fury, not his heart.
I just stood there, overwhelmed by the weight of it, by the truth in his eyes, and by the terrifying possibility that he meant every word.
Even though a part of me felt a quiet happiness, finally knowing I hadn't imagined everything, that the sparks between us were real, I still couldn't process his love. I had always believed love was supposed to be pure and gentle, making the air lighter. But his love, it stole my freedom and tightened around my life until I could barely breathe. How was I supposed to call that love? How was he able to claim he loved me when the truth was he wanted to control me?
And standing there, hearing his confession, my heart was torn between the warmth of wanting him and the cold truth of what his love truly meant.
"But this isn't how you love, Mr. Wolfe."
His grip on me slowly loosened, but he didn't break his gaze, in which I felt every word he spoke. But if controlling me was his way of love, I didn't want it. I'd rather run away like Matthew suggested than dance to his madness.
I looked at him, expecting him to say something, anything, but he walked away. As if he took my strength along with him, my knees wobbled, and I fell to the ground, completely shaken.