My heart shattered to see the person in front of me. He didn't look like the Matthew I knew. He became so thin as if he had been starving himself for days, his face turned pale, and the dark circles under his eyes were evident that he hadn't been getting enough sleep. It hurt to see the once sunshine fading into the darkest oblivion. It only increased my guilt, and I couldn't look him in the eye.
"Did I hurt you so much that you don't even want to look at me?"
I shook my head negatively. "I couldn't look at you because… I am scared. If I look at you once again, you'd again be destroyed."
"We all are at fault, Elira. Not just you." He stepped towards me and held my hands, saying, "You always warned me about that monster, but I didn't listen. And now, I lost everything."
My gaze fell on Mira, who looked at us worriedly. If we continued our conversation, she'd get to know everything, so I decided to take Matthew outside and talk to him.
"Mira! We'll be back."
I tried to walk away, but her words halted my steps. "Why? Don't you want me to hear anything about the monster named Keiran Wolfe?"
I froze as I heard her. For months, I lied and lied for her to not know anything about him, for not even his shadow to touch her.
"Mira!" My voice quivered. "How do you know him?"
"I told her." Matthew's voice infuriated me.
Glaring at him, I shouted, "How could you?"
"How could you!" Mira yelled at me. "How could you sacrifice yourself for your sick sister who has no guarantee about her life? How could you sign a contract with a monster, risking your whole life just because of me? Do you think I'd be happy to know this?"
"That's why I didn't tell you." I shouted, losing my calm. "Mira! You are a kid, so behave like one. You don't have to think or know what adults are doing."
"Kid? What…"
Interrupting her, I pointed at Matthew and shouted, "We need to talk."
Holding his hand, I dragged him out of the general ward and took him to the garden.
I shouted, "How could you do that to me? You know how much I've been trying to hide everything from her…"
He didn't let me speak but pulled me into a tight hug, leaving me puzzled.
"I know I don't deserve to say it, but… I missed you."
Then he pulled me out of the hug, saying, "Mira doesn't know what's in the contract. She is assuming you're acting as his servant for money, and she knows what we went through because of him."
"Why?" I pushed him by his chest, crying. "Do you know how sad she'd be? I hate you, Matt. I hate you."
"Don't say that, Elira. Please." He looked at me with his tear-filled eyes. "You can curse me, scold me, and even hit me, but don't ever say that you hate me. I will die."
Crying, I sat on the bench. I could understand how hurt my sister was even though she didn't know the whole truth.
Kneeling in front of me, Matthew said, "I didn't want to say that to Mira, but she already sensed something was wrong, and I couldn't lie. Besides… I want to pull you out from his evil clutches, and you won't listen to me. You need someone to tell you, and I figured it'd be Mira."
"What are you saying?"
"I know you extended the contract." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "And you did that because you wanted to protect me. Without knowing that, I blamed you, and now… this guilt… it's killing me inside. It's messing with my head."
"Matt…"
"Let me speak." He put his hand over my mouth, shushing me. "After AcadM, I thought of dying. I didn't know I was that weak until my dream fell apart in front of me."
His words frightened me, and my heart stopped for a moment when I imagined him lying, lifeless.
He continued, "I felt like I had no reason to stay alive, but then I got to know that you extended the contract to protect me. Then I realized the meaning of my existence…"
He cupped my cheeks and looked into my eyes. "I want to protect you, Elira. You don't have to forgive me yet, but give me one last chance."
We were back to square one.
But I didn't want to repeat our mistakes. Even though it was hard for me, I wanted to face the truth. I wanted to put an end to it. End to Matthew's misery.
"Matt!" I held his hands while tears continuously rolled down my cheeks. "You don't have to protect me. Just look after yourself. If it continues, we'll destroy each other, and… it's time we accept we don't feel the same anymore. What we both have… is guilt and regret. Nothing more."
"That's what you think, Elira!" He shouted. "We feel beyond that, but this guilt in us is getting into our heads. All I ask is one last chance to prove that I can be the old Matt you fell in love with. Trust me one last time."
I shook my head and stood straight to leave.
"What about Mira?" He shouted.
I narrowed my eyebrows, confused. "What about her?"
"Elira, think straight. Do you think you can escape from that contract? If you can't escape from him, who will take care of your sister? Will you keep sleeping with him for money to fulfill your sister's needs?" He scoffed. "What about your future?"
Those thoughts were not new for me, but I didn't want to hear it from Matthew, who was so good at convincing me.
"Matt! Stop. I know what to do." I tried to leave, but again he held my hand, stopping me.
"Mira is hating herself because she received the treatment with the money you got from him. Do you think she'll accept it if you continue doing that? Do you think she'll be happy?"
"Don't confuse me, Matt!" I shouted angrily.
"I am not confusing you. I am stating the facts."
"Whatever it is… I will stay with Mr. Wolfe until the contract ends. No one will change that."
"What if the contract never ends?"
A chill ran down my spine just by thinking about it. Even if there were unspoken feelings between Mr. Wolfe and me, he wasn't the person to be committed to me forever, but again, if he didn't want me to go away for whatever reason, I'd have to keep serving him as a whore my whole life.
"Do you think Mira's age will also wait until the contract ends? She doesn't accept that monster's money, and she'll hate herself more if you sacrifice yourself further to earn money for her."
He gently held my arms, asking, "Think, Elira! What if he doesn't want to leave you? And in the name of the contract, what if he keeps controlling you and won't let you work anywhere or do anything, taking away your future? If you don't have answers to any of these, you can't take care of Mira. Trust me when I say this."
Matthew's words, Mira's life, Mr. Wolfe's madness, and, among everything, my confused feelings, and I couldn't understand what step I needed to take.
But one thing was sure. I needed to think before I took any step.
"What should I do, Matt?" I sat on the bench, holding my face between my palms.
There was silence for a few seconds. Like a storm coming before the scary silence.
"Elira! Let's run away from here."