The darkness crept in like a familiar friend, shrouding the orphanage's sterile halls in an unsettling silence. I lay in bed, my eyes wide open, as the whispers of my past swirled like a tempest in my mind. The creaks and groans of the old building seemed to echo my heartbeat, a rhythmic reminder of the secrets I kept hidden. I felt an unmistakable presence above me, hovering over my head as I press my face down on the bed, I hear whispers, I hear groans , I hear screams, I feel an inner turmoil, one of guilt, one of pain, one of loneliness and one of regret. Yet in the darkness, I felt a strange sense of comfort, a fleeting escape from the expectations and prying eyes of the world outside. But even in the shadows, the memories lingered, taunting me with the what-ifs and the could-haves.
I tossed and turned, my blankets tangled around me like the threads of my own fractured thoughts. The moon cast an eerie glow through the window, illuminating the contours of my face, etched with the weight of the secrets hidden within me.
As I drifted into a fitful sleep, the whispers grew louder, a cacophony of pain and fear that threatened to consume me and in the darkness, I was lost once more, trapped in the labyrinth of my own mind. I could hear screams, groans and I hear the dropping of tears , the tears I couldn't wipe off, the tears I saw and felt but could do nothing about. I feel this inner pain within me, something pushing me forward, something lifting my spirit, something terrorizing my soul, I feel like jumping of a cliff, maybe then this pang of regret and pain I feel would be over and done with, maybe then I would be free from this inner pain. Suddenly my eyes opened, it felt like something did that on my behalf, I slowly got down my the bed , my black and teary eyes starring at the window, the only window in the small room I was in, there was darkness outside the window , the city lights were deem, I could barely see a thing, but I couldn't stop myself from moving closer to the window, suddenly a maniacal smile illuminated all over my face, my feet's slowly moving me forward towards the window, I slowly reached for the wall on which the window stood and then look down, " it's a long way down, jump.., be free…" the voice said and I slowly climbed the wall and then looked down, I closed my eyes, slowly lifting up my right feet, her heard the voice again " Jump.., go on and jump…." . For some reasons I couldn't resist I felt the urge to take the step and finally put an end to my sorrowful and meaningless life, I just had to do it.
" Mia !!!!! " a voice behind me called out and an unmistakable presence was felt in the room, it was- Jessy, Miss Cathy's arrogant disciple. She quickly grabbed me and brought me down and then have me a tight slap across the face, sending loud alarms into my ear.
" What were you thinking, were you going to kill yourself, are you crazy …" she asked, her voice louder than ever. I remained quiet, my eyes focused on hers, wondering what her next course of action would be.
" Can't you speak.., is something wrong with you, were you going to commit suicide…" she asked again, her voice louder, I still remained quiet my eyes still fixed on hers.
" Can't you speak !!!!!" She shouted ,this time alerting the rest of the inhabitants in the building - The Children's Haven, the orphanage home I stayed in, a shallow and small building he building which adopted me when it all happened.
Miss Cathy's eyes filled with worry and pain as she entered the room, her gaze piercing through me like a knife. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me, and my thoughts began to swirl. "What was I thinking? Why was I about to do this?" I wondered, looking into her eyes.
The other kids, Ronnie, Josephine, Ramley, and Kaitlyn, entered the room and surrounded me, offering comfort and care. Their presence brought me a sense of inner peace, and my wild thoughts began to dissipate. The voices in my head grew fainter, and I regained my composure.
"Ma'am, she tried to commit suicide again," Jessy shouted, pointing her crooked finger at me. Madam Cathy touched Jessy's shoulder and said, "Come with me." With that, she left the room without saying a word to me. Jessy glared at me angrily before following Madam Cathy out of the room.
For a moment, I felt a mix of emotions - calmness and nervousness. I wondered why Madam Cathy hadn't said anything to me. Was she annoyed? Was she planning to punish me or kick me out of the orphanage? I looked at the others, who were still surrounding me, and saw the worry and concern in their eyes.
Josephine, the one I called sis, held onto me tightly, her brown eyes fixed on mine. Ronnie, the class clown, was unusually subdued, but his presence still brought me comfort. Ramley and Kaitlyn, the dynamic duo, were quiet and somber, their usual antics replaced with concern.
"Are you okay?" Kaitlyn asked, her bulgy eyes resting on mine. I nodded, and they all hugged me tightly, tears streaming down their faces. As we hugged, I thought to myself, "Was I really thinking of giving all this away? Was I going to kill myself?" Tears dropped down my cheeks as I realized how much I had to lose.