Night had fallen and I had yet to have a trial at night, with just me and my thoughts with no other conversations it seemed odd. Comforter was not allowed to speak, though I had a feeling Nim knew how I was doing so far with these spiritual trials.
There was this exhaustion in my body that was eating through my soul. I tried to push through it as best as I could, but I was dreading the next, and the days in between trials were supposed to be a relaxation, rather these breaks did not assist me in the least, as I questioned every move, every thought, and wondered if I did something wrong. I sighed most trials were in the morning but this one was done in the pitch of night.
I was on a high cliff and suddenly, my body was gaunt and hunger ravished my body. I could feel the bones in my ribs. A wolf in the dens that roamed The Glen would leave me for my death.
Suddenly before me there was a table of everything I could possibly crave that would satisfy my hunger. Dates, sugared plums, bread, lamb stew, beef pies, berries from all over Nod, pastries, and even my Mother's bread. I stared at her bread.
My mouth watered. In my starvation state, a man appeared. Yet, he had the same look as Doubt somehow. I took a few steps back as he tried to approach me.
"You are indeed in a state of starvation, Rune. Look at the feast before you. Do you not wish to dine with me?" He asked, sitting down on one of the chairs.
My stomach screamed at me for nourishment, yet there was this ominous feeling inside of me not to touch one bite of the food. I was not sure I was going to be able to resist.
He grabbed my Mother's bread and sat it down next to me. "How long have you been craving this morsel of delectable bread?" He asked, pulling it apart and taking a small bite in front of me. I could smell the bread in all of its aromas of dates and yeast that called to me. Her bread was always like a hug to me.
It was there in front of me, I wanted to have something for my Mother. I wanted something to remember her. I forgot what it tasted like. Behind his back he pulled out my mother's preserves and slathered the red liquid all over it.
He slurped the liquid back, full Julican berries slipped off the bread and hit my foot. I so wanted to touch it, and just have that feeling of home rush into my soul.
I could not handle it anymore. I screamed to Comforter to come, but Nim did not appear. This was ammunition for the man that stopped down and licked the Julican preserves off my foot.
"We can't have your mother's preserves go to waste now can we, and where is this Author of Love's helper now. You are starving. This is very much real. You can see your ribs and feel them protruding from your sides." The man said, looking at me with disgust.
I cried thinking about the last trial and this one seemed to break me further. I got on my knees and simply said that I knew the Author of Life would sustain me more than bread alone. His love was sweeter than honey, and that I was His. I mumbled for His loving promise to deliver me from all sorts of evil. Should I die from this hunger I would go to Paradise with my mom. I would be in perfect love, never to know this kind of hunger. I repeated this prayer for hours and without my knowing it, Comforter was there and I could Nim over me as I prayed for deliverance from it all.
When I awoke I was by a pond and back to my normal self. I simply cried missing my mother all over again. I recall from the text something about He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of Me. I knew that this was a test of love above all else.
I fell on my face and much to my surprise Comforter brought me a familiar flask, and then in my heart there was something that would help me along on this challenging path, joy.
Comforter then passed me something much to my surprise, while I was eating chicken and leeks with hot rolls, Comforter, passed me a jar of mother's preserves.
"Your mother would give this to us in the dozens, her mother before her, and for many generations. Your aunt now supplies the Monastery the preserves. Enjoy, Rune." Comforter said as he rolled the knife over my roll. I was in disbelief.
"When you leave here you may take several jars with you, Rune, I am sure that your father will be blessed by this small gesture from us." He said looking at me with sincere hope.
"I will never abandon you. Even after you leave here. I am your guide from now until your coffin calls you to Paradise. I was there today in the midst of your trial. I may not always be felt, but I am always there. Never forget that." He said, looking at me with deep tenderness.
I put the preserves on a roll and passed it to Comforter, he declined. "I am immortal. I do not eat but I know that it is quite delicious. I heard in Paradise that the Author of Love is quite fond of your mother's preserves as well." He said looking at me and I looked back in astonishment.
I went to the reflecting pool and did the labyrinth of prayer many times, before I went back to my room and for the first time I had peace about the passing of my mother. I wish my father was here.