The sky cracked like porcelain.
A swirling storm of qi tore open the clouds, revealing a colossal golden warship floating just beneath the heavens. It was larger than Mistcloud Sect's entire main peak, with spires carved like spears and cannons glowing with runic fire.
Hovering at the ship's prow was a figure wrapped in robes of black and silver, long white hair flaring behind him, eyes like molten jade.
He pointed a single finger at the sect below.
"Return the Laughing Heavens Scroll," he boomed, "or prepare for annihilation."
Sect Master Zhen's face paled. "The Heavenly Lance Sect. Of course."
Elder Ping Mei narrowed her eyes. "They must have tracked it here through the legacy imprint."
Shen Yuan, who had just pulled himself out of a crater created by his own dramatic return, raised a tentative hand.
"Uh… Hi. Just a quick question. What exactly is the Heavenly Lance Sect and why do they look like they're about to smite me?"
"They're one of the Eight Forbidden Lineages," Zhen muttered grimly. "War cultivators. Arrogant. Merciless. Obsessive."
Shen Yuan blinked. "So, jerks."
"Elite jerks."
"Got it."
Zap-Chan, still perched on Shen Yuan's shoulder, sparked violently at the massive warship and let out a low, threatening chirp. Its feathers had fluffed to full battle-pigeon mode.
The system chimed in his mind.
System Alert: Cultivation pressure detected. Suppression barrier active. Danger level: High.
"Great. This is how I die. Again," Shen Yuan muttered.
A second voice echoed down from the warship. This one was younger, smug, and absolutely punchable.
"You have five minutes to comply. Hand over the scroll and the brat who triggered it. Or we reduce your entire sect to spirit ash."
The sect trembled as the pressure increased.
All around, outer disciples were panicking. Inner disciples gritted their teeth, trying to maintain composure. Elders whispered frantic barrier incantations.
Shen Yuan turned to Sect Master Zhen. "So… what's the plan?"
Zhen stared at him. "We stall."
"How?"
Zhen pointed at the podium. "You. Stall."
"Me?!"
Ping Mei was already pushing him forward. "You activated the scroll. That means you're linked to the legacy now. Which means you have about a thirty percent chance of not immediately dying if you speak on behalf of the sect."
Shen Yuan's eye twitched. "That's not comforting."
"Neither is the alternative."
Zap-Chan gave him a sympathetic peep. Then bit his ear.
He stepped forward.
The warship loomed above, glowing with divine power. Shen Yuan cupped his hands politely and raised his voice.
"Respected cultivators of the Heavenly Lance Sect! May I interest you in a trade offer instead of mutual destruction?"
A pause.
The smug voice replied.
"Speak."
Shen Yuan swallowed and activated every ounce of charm and mischief he could muster.
"Well, you see, the scroll already activated. I don't exactly have it anymore. I mean, it hovers behind me and whispers jokes sometimes, but it's clearly bound to my soul now. So unless you plan on surgically removing my soul with a very large ladle, you're out of luck."
The air grew colder.
Wrong move?
Maybe.
But then he smirked.
"However," he continued quickly, "what if I told you I could offer you something better?"
A laugh echoed from above.
"Better than the Laughing Heavens Legacy? You think you're worth that?"
Shen Yuan shrugged. "I've made ghosts laugh. I've survived cursed scrolls. I've even trained a lightning chicken."
Zap-Chan screeched and caught fire for dramatic effect.
"If you want to kill me, that's fine. Just be warned: the last legacy I unlocked had a built-in vengeance curse. If I die, you might wake up with your head turned into a gourd and your sect full of dancing skeletons."
There was a very long silence.
Ping Mei's jaw dropped slightly. "Did you just bluff a forbidden sect with animated skeletons?"
"Improvisation," Shen Yuan whispered.
Then the white-haired figure on the warship finally spoke again.
"Three days."
Shen Yuan blinked. "Sorry?"
"You have three days," the man said. "To prove your worth, activate the next legacy site, or return the scroll. If you fail either… we level your mountain."
With that, the warship slowly began to rise into the clouds again, disappearing into the mist as though it had never been.
The pressure lifted.
Disciples collapsed. Elders exhaled. Zap-Chan fell off Shen Yuan's shoulder and smoldered in the grass like a roast pigeon.
Shen Yuan sat down heavily on a nearby rock. "I hate being important."
Ping Mei strode over, eyes wide with disbelief and admiration. "You do realize you just bluffed one of the most dangerous sects in the cultivation world using nothing but sarcasm and poultry."
"I know."
"It was incredibly stupid."
"I know."
She paused. "It worked."
"I know," he said again, and let himself fall backward onto the grass, arms spread wide.
---
That night, the sect held a private emergency meeting in the Grand Hall.
The elders argued over strategies. The younger disciples whispered rumors about Shen Yuan's sudden power. Some now believed him to be a hidden genius. Others just wanted to borrow Zap-Chan for lightning experiments.
Shen Yuan sat on the stairs, poking a bowl of spirit rice with a stick, trying to come to terms with the idea that he was now the key to not getting annihilated in three days.
The system pinged.
New Quest: Activate the Second Temple of the Laughing Heavens
Time Limit: 72 hours
Reward: Expansion of cultivation base, system upgrades, and access to advanced legacy memories
Failure: Death, doom, and eternal disappointment
"Of course," he said to no one. "No pressure."
He looked up at the stars.
Somewhere out there, an ancient temple waited. Another trial. Another ridiculous test.
And possibly more jokes.
He exhaled and smiled faintly.
"Let's make the heavens laugh again."