The pain was still there.
Not as sharp as before, but lingering like a memory that refused to fade.
A phantom burning under my skin, pulsing every time i moved.
I lay in bed, face turned toward the open window, letting the breeze carry in scents of plum blossoms and distant smoke.
Somewhere, spring had returned to the land.
But it hadn't returned to me.
"Elise," I said softly.
She moved toward me, quiet as ever. A bowl of warm broth cradled in her hands, steam curling like smoke from incense. Her eyes were red again.
She cried more than i did these days.
"You've done it?"
She nodded. "Yes, my lady. The document is ready."
She laid the folded parchment in my hand. Crisp, clean, untouched.
Not yet stained with blood or regret.
I sat up slowly, ignoring the way my spine screamed.
My arms trembled as i unfolded the paper.
It was strange, how calm i was as i dipped the brush into ink and pressed my name into the parchment, the one i never got to choose.
The black strokes bled into the paper like a wound.
It was done.
My marriage, if i could even call it that, was no longer mine to endure.
"Elise," I whispered. "Come with me."
"My lady—"
"Just bring the document."
I didn't wear anything elaborate.
A simple robe, pale as rainwater. My hair hung loose, unadorned, a tangle of midnight that hadn't seen a comb in days. I didn't need jewels or gold. I wasn't going to war.
I was already a casualty.
The halls were too quiet.
The silence made my footsteps louder than they should've been, echoing against lacquered wood and painted screens.
Two guards bowed stiffly as i passed, but i didn't look at them.
I didn't look at anyone.
When i reached the outer chamber of the Prince's quarters, one of the eunuchs tried to stop me. "My lady, His Highness is not—"
"He will see me."
He hesitated, then stepped aside.
Lucien was seated by the open windows, the sun casting gold into his hair.
He wasn't smiling. Just staring at something, no, someone beside him.
Lady Mei.
She sat like a ghost. Pale, nervous, hands folded tightly over her lap, one side of her robe looser than the other.
A fresh bandage peeked from her ribs. Her gaze darted to me, then down, as if the floor held all the answers she dared not speak.
So this is what guilt looked like.
I stepped forward, then without a word, hurled the folded paper at the table.
It landed with a dull slap, startling Mei. Her fingers gripped her sleeve tighter.
Lucien looked at it.
Then looked at me.
I said nothing.
He opened the parchment slowly, like it might burn his hands.
His eyes moved across the ink, my signature, the declaration, the seal. When he looked back at me, his mouth twisted.
"No."
I stared.
"No?" I repeated, voice sharp.
He stood. "This is absurd."
"You said you wanted me gone," I said, my breath beginning to shake. "Now i'm giving you exactly what you wanted. What's so absurd about that?"
Lady Mei fidgeted beside him.
Her eyes were glassy.
I could almost hear her thinking—Don't blame me. I didn't ask for this. I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
But none of that mattered now.
"Sign it," I said, stepping closer. "Or kill me. You may as well. What's the difference?"
Lucien's face darkened. "Seraphine—"
"Don't," I snapped. "Don't say my name like it means something to you."
He didn't move.
I forced a breath through clenched teeth.
My heart was hammering now, too fast, too loud.
I was shaking, but i didn't care.
I was done hiding.
"Do you think i don't know what you did?" I whispered, eyes locked on his. "The other night… the guard in black. I saw him."
Lucien flinched, just barely.
"Do you think i forgot the sound of steel behind me?" I continued, voice breaking. "The pain in my arm? The blade that missed my heart by inches? I remember the man's hand. His eyes. And i remember the wound i gave him."
Lady Mei's lips parted. "W-what are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about attempted murder," I spat.
Lucien's jaw was set, but his eyes… they betrayed something.
A flicker. A hesitation.
Guilt? Surprise? Or rage that i was still alive?
"You can play dumb all you want," I said bitterly. "But i know what i saw. And i know you gave the order."
Silence.
Even Mei looked frozen now, like the air around us had turned to ice.
When Lucien finally spoke, his voice was low. Controlled. "You're delusional."
I let out a hollow laugh. "Is that what you tell yourself? That i'm delusional, hysterical, insane?"
I stepped forward again, every inch of my body screaming from the movement. "You want me gone, Lucien? Fine. Sign the divorce. Let me go."
"I said no."
"Then kill me."
My voice rang out louder than i meant.
The guards outside probably heard.
Lady Mei gasped.
Lucien's face was stone.
"You already tried once," I whispered. "Why not finish the job?"
For a moment, no one breathed.
Then Lucien turned away. "Leave."
"Not until you sign it."
"Leave."
"No."
He faced me again, something wild in his eyes now. "What exactly do you want from me, Seraphine?"
I stared at him.
"I want peace," I whispered. "I want to wake up without blood in my mouth. Without lashes on my back. I want to stop being a puppet in this cursed palace. I want to stop pretending i'm your wife, that i'm Crown Princess."
Lucien said nothing.
"And if you won't give me that," I said, backing away, "then i'll find it myself."
I walked out before i could cry.
Before he could see how broken i already was.
The corridors of the East Wing echoed with every step i took, and i made no effort to tread lightly.
My bare feet slapped against polished stone, my robes trailing behind me like a shadow too tired to keep up.
"Elise," I muttered without turning.
"Yes, my lady," she answered, close behind me, her voice tight and trembling.
"I want them all gone," I said coldly. "Everyone who stares. Everyone who whispers."
We turned the corner, and there they were.
Two servants standing in the hallway like statues, holding lacquered trays of dried herbs and folded silks. One blinked. The other didn't move fast enough.
"Out of the way," I snapped, my voice slicing through the hush like a blade.
Still they stared.
"Did you not hear me?"
I stepped forward.
They scrambled.
One tripped over the hem of her own robe.
The other tried to bow and spill whatever brew she was holding in her hand.
Hot liquid splashed onto my outer robe.
Gasps.
Then silence.
Elise stepped forward, almost instinctively to protect me, but i lifted my hand before she could say a word.
The servant's eyes widened in horror.
I slapped her.
Hard.
Her head whipped to the side with the force of it.
She dropped the bowl, its pieces shattering across the floor like broken bone.
A silence settled between all of us, except for the tremor in her breath.
"I said move," I repeated. "Next time, I won't be so merciful! Same how this cursed palace treat me!"
She collapsed into a bow, forehead pressed to the floor, mumbling apologies i didn't care to hear.
Each step away felt like another piece of skin shedding from my body, raw, but clean.
Every person in the hallway looked at me like i had descended from some cruel god's fury.
Let them fear me.
If they would not give me freedom, I would carve it myself.
I would run.
Or die trying.