If my whole life were a painting, it would be one of those quiet landscape paintings. It might seem interesting at first glance—but after a few seconds, you'd find it boring and think of something better to do.
I'm that guy who never tried hard in elementary school but somehow kept receiving awards left and right. Back then, I thought I was some kind of big shot. But then middle school and high school came, and I realized I was just a goldfish in a tiny bowl, completely unaware of how vast the ocean really is.
Then came college—and that's when I realized I was literally nothing. Not even as special as a speck of dust. Even after pulling all-nighters, I would barely scrape passing scores on exams. I sacrificed my social life, my freedom, and everything I once loved just to reach my final year and hopefully graduate.
And you'd think I'd be rewarded, right?
Well, let's just say my reward… was death.
I literally died from overstudying for my final exams. If I had known I'd die such an embarrassing death, I might've just chosen to end it myself.
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"Are you done yapping? There are other souls in line, young man. I don't have all day to listen to your complaints."
Said a young woman in front of me. Apparently, she has no name—she just called herself "Guide." She had that kind of beauty you only notice in airports—the kind that makes you think, "What a beautiful woman," but then fades from your memory as quickly as she appeared.
From what she explained earlier, it turns out there really is life after death. And while I still had so much to say, I stopped talking—or rather, stopped thinking aloud. I wasn't even sure if I had a mouth anymore. Actually, I didn't think I had a body at all.
It was like I was sharing my thoughts directly with her. A weird, yet fantastic feeling.
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"Guide, you said I'd be reincarnated. Would it be like those isekai novels—where there are actually multiple worlds and Earth is just one of them?"
She paused, visibly impatient, as if debating whether she could tell me or not. Then she let out a small grunt and suddenly pulled my spiritual form somewhere.
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"I'm not sure what happened to you, but your memories were supposed to be erased before arriving here. You're like a computer bug—and this is the first time something like this has happened since I was posted here. I don't want to get blamed for your case, so just shut up and follow me, okay?"
She whispered, glancing around as if to check if anyone else was listening.
I didn't understand what was happening, so I just nodded my non-existent head and tried to give a thumbs-up.
Seeing my compliance, she began typing something in midair, and suddenly, a huge, shiny door appeared and opened before us.
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"Young man. You were supposed to be reincarnated on Earth. But because you'll retain your memories, that's no longer possible. It would only make things worse on our end—especially now that you know we exist. As a solution, I deleted your soul from the system and will now send you to a world that has no reincarnation cycle. That way, the higher-ups won't be able to find you."
I kind of understood what she was hinting at, but I wasn't sure whether her decision was good or bad for me.
---
"Why? What happens if the higher-ups find out?"
The guide sighed and looked at me again.
---
"I just got hired here. The system has been running without issue since its creation, and now someone under my watch is causing a critical error. If you were the higher-up, wouldn't you blame me too? I know it's selfish, but you won't lose out on this, young man. You mentioned isekai earlier, right? I've read those novels too. So... I'll give you a gift to make up for this mishap."
---
I thought for a bit. I wasn't sure what to do. But a gift didn't sound too bad. If I were reincarnated normally, I wouldn't even have my memories. Even if it's a strange new world, at least I'd still have myself.
---
"I mean, I don't really have a choice since you already deleted me from the system, right? I'll just go. Hopefully, you won't get in trouble for this."
She smiled, relieved, and nodded. I turned to the door and began walking toward it. As I stepped through, I was suddenly blinded by a white light—and then flooded with memories that made my head ache.
Everything was happening so fast—and yet so slow.
I saw my mother give birth to me.
I saw them care for me as a child.
I saw the pride in their faces as I received my school awards.
The worry when I locked myself away after failing an exam.
The panic and heartbreak as they found my lifeless body.
The pain as they buried me, my mother's wailing echoing in the background.
It was like watching my entire life flash by in the blink of an eye.
---
My life really was a boring painting.
But I realized—to them, that painting was the greatest masterpiece in the whole world.
And I never even got the chance to repay them.
I wanted to cry so badly, but no tears came.
I finally understood why memories had to be erased after death.
The regrets... the sadness...
They don't fade. Not even after a million reincarnations.
And now, I realized—I should've never accepted the guide's offer.
But spilled milk can't be undone.
So I'll try my best to live my second life with no regrets.
This time, I'll be the painter of my own story.
And in just a few moments, everything faded into darkness.