Kazuki Harano had survived 786 isekai stories, 113 cultivation novels, and 44 different flavors of "Reincarnated as a Something."He'd read about salarymen turned slimes, masochists gaining strength through pain, sword spirits falling in love with their wielders, and one questionable story involving a vending machine.
But this?
This was new.
The screen hovering before his eyes flickered ominously in blue neon, like a holographic pop-up ad in a cheap mobile gacha game.
[WELCOME, CHOSEN ONE!][YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO THE WORLD OF ELVERIA!][DESTINY AWAITS.]
Kazuki sat up slowly in a grassy clearing. Birds chirped. Flowers bloomed. A fantasy breeze gently tousled his messy black hair like it had read the script and wanted to be helpful.
Okay... either this is a dream, or I finally snapped after bingeing 300 chapters of "Overpowered Regressor: Apocalypse Edition."
He reached out to poke the glowing screen.
It didn't move.
"Of course not," he muttered. "Why would a UI element be interactable in the tutorial?"
A soft ding followed his sarcasm.
[Sarcastic Inner Monologue Detected.][Unlocking Passive Skill: Self-Awareness (Lv. 1)]
Kazuki blinked.
"…Okay. That's new."
He stood up slowly, scanning the landscape. Rolling green fields. Distant castle. Forest with definitely-not-evil shadows. A looming volcano in the far distance, because of course there was.
It was like someone copy-pasted every fantasy map from every anime opening he'd ever seen and merged it into a JPEG.
[You have been granted a Unique Skill!][Plot Armor Awareness (Lv. 1): Passively warns you of narrative flags, death triggers, and character development traps.]
He squinted at the screen.
"…Okay, I take it back. That's actually kind of busted."
A faint red light began blinking in the corner of his vision. Like a warning light.
[DEATH FLAG APPROACHING. TURN AROUND.]
"What?"
He spun around instinctively—just in time to see a stampede of wild boars charging directly at him.
"OH COME ON—!"
He leapt sideways, narrowly dodging the first one. The second grazed his shoulder, flinging him into a patch of conveniently-placed soft moss. The third one tripped and landed snout-first into a tree.
Kazuki groaned.
"So this is how I die… again."
Flashback: 12 Hours Ago
(AKA "How I Ended Up in Anime Purgatory")
He hadn't planned to die.
He'd planned to finish reading World Breaker System: Rise of the Lazy God King before sunrise, microwave some pizza rolls, and sleep through his alarm like a responsible NEET.
Instead, he slipped on a wet bathroom tile, hit his head on the toilet seat, and woke up to the sound of a narrator announcing his destiny like it was a trailer for an overproduced shounen reboot.
He didn't even get hit by Truck-kun.
That was what stung most.
No truck, no traffic accident, no valiant sacrifice for a loli crossing the road.
Just… soap.And hubris.
Present Day (or whatever counts as "now" in fantasy)
Kazuki dragged himself to his feet, brushing leaves off his school uniform.
Wait.
He was still in his school uniform.
"Where's the badass armor?" he muttered. "Or the classic robed outfit with the edgy cloak? Do I have to craft my drip from scratch?"
A chirpy female voice echoed in his mind:
[No costume unlocked. Please survive Tutorial Phase to receive Starter Outfit.]
"Right," Kazuki muttered. "So I'm not even past the tutorial."
He glanced up—and saw it.
A girl.
Silver hair. Flowing robes. Glowing staff. Softly glowing eyes that screamed "important character."
She floated down from the sky like a magical angel.
"You! Are you the summoned hero?"
Kazuki hesitated.
"Uh… define 'hero.'"
The girl blinked.
"You possess a unique aura. Your soul radiates chaotic energy. You're clearly the Chosen One fated to defeat the Demon Lord!"
Kazuki turned around.
"…Are you sure you're not talking to someone behind me?"
"No," she said sweetly. "It's you."
[WARNING: "Hero Protagonist" Title Incoming. Accepting this title may permanently alter your role in the narrative.]
"Nope," Kazuki said instantly. "Hard pass. I am not taking on the hero role. I've read enough to know where that leads. Betrayals. Tragedies. A childhood friend with secret trauma. And worst of all—unskippable training arcs."
He started backing away.
The girl tilted her head.
"But… you're literally glowing."
Kazuki glanced down. Sure enough, faint blue light was pulsing from his chest.
"Plot Armor," he muttered. "Of course it glows."
Suddenly, a sword fell from the sky.
Literally.
It stabbed into the ground an inch from his foot, quivering like it had just fallen from a vending machine slot.
It was sleek. Black hilt. Crimson gem. Edgy aura.
And it started talking.
"Hey. You. Pick me up."
Kazuki stared.
The sword sighed."You're late. I've been waiting for three thousand years. Let's go kill the Demon Lord."
"…Do I have to?"
"Yes."
"Do you know how many sentient swords I've read about?"
The sword scoffed. "I'm not like the others."
"That's what they all say."
The girl floated closer.
"The fate of the world rests on your shoulders, Chosen One."
Kazuki held up a finger.
"Quick question: If I just walk that way and ignore all this, what happens?"
She blinked.
"I… I don't know. No one's ever asked that before."
He started walking.
[PLOT RESISTANCE DETECTED. YOU ARE LEAVING THE DESIGNATED HERO PATH.][WORLD MAY ATTEMPT TO CORRECT COURSE.]
He kept walking.
The air shimmered.
A goblin dropped from the sky with a tiny sword and zero chill.
Kazuki sighed.
"See? This is what I mean."
[Combat Tutorial Activated.][Use your Unique Skill to defeat the enemy.]
He didn't move.
The goblin rushed in.
Kazuki sidestepped and pushed it gently into a rabbit hole. The goblin shrieked and vanished.
[You have defeated the enemy.][Level Up! Self-Awareness (Lv. 2) unlocked new effect: "Genre Satire"]
Kazuki tilted his head.
"Genre Satire?"
Suddenly, he could see floating text over the sword girl's head.
[Role: Suspiciously Perfect Summoner Girl. Likely Hides a Dark Secret. Possibly Yandere.]
He turned to the sword.
[Role: Edgy Weapon Companion. Probably Has a Tragic Backstory. May Betray You Around Chapter 75.]
Kazuki smiled weakly.
"…So this is my life now."
He stared up at the sky, the glowing blue panels, the gentle breeze. Somewhere in the distance, a dragon roared.
"Fine," he muttered. "But I swear, if this turns into a harem…"
A soft ding echoed in his mind.
[New Title Unlocked: "Doomed to be the Main Character"][Good luck.]
END OF PROLOGUE