I observed him carefully, as his chest heaved up and down along the melody of breeze, and his roaming eyes underneath their cover. His eyelashes were elongated, and they curved up beautifully. I was nearly envious for my own that simply doesn't curve upwards naturally like so. His hair looked soft, I..
"Aslynne?.. Are you done?.."
His raspy voice startled me, and I thought I was saved as I nearly went with my impulses.
"Hm? Ah, yeah—I'm done."
"Since when?"
He cleared his throat, and his voice came out deep and coarse. It shook my heart.
"Um, like a few minutes ago."
My eyes traveled elsewhere due to my own conscience.
"Hey, you okay? You seem nervous. Why?" he asked, leaning close.
I could see his messy strands that bounced on his head. I stayed silent momentarily, contemplating.
"Can I.. touch your hair?.."
I mustered up the courage, as I felt shame coating my entire being. He stared at me for a moment, before laughing and nodding to my question.
"Yeah, sure."
Though permitted, I stayed unmoving. He chuckled as he noticed my hesitance.
I was caught off guard as he held my wrist and planted my palm on top of his head. He lazily grinned as his hooded eyes kept on mine, and I felt my intestines jumping with butterflies.
I lightly ruffled and stroked his hair, it was softer than I imagined—I thought my hand could melt.
Silence erupted, and the atmosphere changed—not awkward. Heavy. My eyes were trapped in his, and he was in mine. The room was dark, the lights throughout the city illuminated the darkness. The contrast touches his face softly. His heterochromatic eyes held words I couldn't understand, but feel. They flickered downwards briefly, before returning to mine. I remained on his eyes tentatively, before my heart eclipsed my brain and I returned his movements as the gap between us decreased. An inch closer, and another—he leaned in.
My eyes closed, and our lips met.
I jerked backwards as I came to my senses. My heart pumped rapidly and I stood up as I faced away from him.
"I-I think you should return now."
I sniffled, yet I felt my breath stuck inside the back of my throat before I sneezed, and rushed to the bathroom as a collection of sneezes made its way out of my nasal. I washed my snot with water before returning to the room. I watched, seeing Calix deep in thought before his awareness alerted him of my presence and stood up, stepping towards the door.
"I'm gonna head back now, bye Aslynne."
He smiled—rather sadly. I simply nodded to his farewell as I turned to my bed and the door shut told me his disappearance.
I closed my eyes, and my consciousness perished. Only to enter another reality.
I woke up in an embrace. My recognition arose as his scent reached and fused with my inhale—Calix's. I felt him shift, as I froze—unmoving.
He groaned raspily, "Lynn? You awake?.."
His voice was deep and hoarse, yet I could feel the weight of his heart on my name. My voice was caught in my throat—a cage. All I could hear, feel—the sound, vibration of his voice when he speaks, and my own heartbeat.
"Lynn?"
He propped himself up on his elbow as his shoulder pressed onto me furthermore, and his messy bed-head popped up in my view. I glanced at him shyly. He brought his hand up to my forehead as he frowned.
"You sick, love?"
My insides burst with warmth as he called me such sweet calling. I feel the heat rise up to my cheeks, yet I still shook my head in response to his question.
"Then why are you—oh."
As he seemed to inquire me another, he appeared to come to a realization on his own. A realization even I was not aware of. He leaned over to his bedside as he seemed to take something—phone, I assumed. Then he was on that device for a short while before returning it on the table and lying down comfortably beside me again. His arms wrapped securely around me, tighter this time.
"Your period's coming today, does it hurt already?"
He asked, rubbing my stomach softly. An intimate act—one that made my heart pumped so harshly, I thought he could feel it through the barrier of fabric refraining our skin from contact.
"No.. Why are you so clingy today..?"
My voice was finally released as I felt the familiarity of being in his presence. He chuckled before turning me over by force—though it didn't hurt, and he was confidently adept in doing that. He's done this over a dozen times to me anyway.
"It's finally my day off, I missed you so much."
He pouted adorably, and I giggled. I draped my arm over him as I snuggled into his chest.
"I missed you too.."
I popped my head up at him with a large grin.
"My Chloris.. Let's just stay like this today."
He leaned down to reach my lips, and—
My consciousness returned.
"Fuck." I muttered, as soon as I sat up and shot my eyes open, my heart was breathing rapidly—I was panting. Flashbacks of my life in dreamland kept replaying, and I felt dizzy. My heart felt ecstatic, yet my mind felt dread.
I took deep breaths to calm my heart and myself as my hands swished up and down towards my face to cool the heat over my cheeks. I couldn't help the butterflies that were popping out of their cocoons inside my intestines, yet I knew in my right mind it wasn't supposed to be. We were friends—no, we are friends. I don't want to change that, and I don't want to lose this.
I'm scared.
I stayed unmoving for a moment before exhaling deeply and clearing my head. Then I stood up and headed over to the bathroom to prepare myself for another day of Pristine. I felt rather flurried to encounter him, yet I knew I had to face it. I wouldn't be able to keep on running and hiding away for long.
I shook my head to stay clear and calm. Once my mouth felt clean and mint, I went out to choose my outfit for the day.
I'd concluded on a plain black shirt with a long black coat and denim baggy jeans over my layers, of course. I would die without those layers underneath in this season. Then I grabbed my plain black cross-body bag as I slung it over myself and placed necessary belongings inside before sliding my feet inside the warmth of winter boots that were nearly hidden underneath my jeans, and an adorable cat paw imprinted–black winter gloves.
Then I took off, and began my walk to Pristine University.
I was precisely on time when I reached the university, and I made my way to the classroom with a lazed pace as my cautiousness and punctuality wasn't clouding my mind in their slumber. I didn't feel troubled by the thought of being preached with the usual high-pitched tone and a deep frown over their face. I felt as though I could slap the fuck out of their scolding and simply sneak my way out. Nevertheless, I still made it in time. It had already bore me with history as the first lesson, which is actually quite torturous, but I decided I could simply sneakily play games on my phone.
After a few minutes had walked out the door, I took my phone out, hid it with my bag and played some online games after confirming the volume was completely inaudible. Much to my misfortune, there was one particular game—a billiard game that had immersed myself within the game, and my realization was unable to break the barrier of my consciousness until the game vanished as my phone was taken away by the teacher beside me.
Obviously, I was lectured and insulted in front of the entire class to humiliate me, but humiliation was far off the bottom of my ass, and I barely recognized anyone in this class either way, so I didn't feel troubled in any way and simply went along as she placed me inside the 'detention' room. It wasn't a genuine detention room, there's no such thing. It was only a small room with a set of tables, chairs, and a whiteboard inside. This room was never used by anyone, but always cleaned by the janitors. Nobody uses this 'detention' room aside from the history teacher and a science teacher I wasn't familiar with as I hadn't ever approached science subjects or the class for that matter—at least not in Pristine.
She handed me papers and demanded a written reflection of what fault was in my hands, and what of the history that was within her previous explanation, before leaving and locking the room to keep me confined in here.
I had grabbed my bag when she commanded my obedience to follow her trail, therefore I have my stationery and the things I needed, albeit not my phone since she confiscated it.
I fell asleep as I was truthfully not mentally or energetically prepared for history first thing in the morning, and I was actually still very tired. I felt I could go blind seeing the endless white in this room.
I was awoken by the history teacher and she fumed. I could almost visibly see the fire on top of her head as she furiously slandered and labeled me for various negative acts even I never knew I'd done. I was a pinch away from rolling my eyes and rolling my middle finger to her face. Her words entered one ear and exited the other, as I found myself yawning—causing her to nearly blast and possibly abuse me, in which she was impressively able to hold back. In the aftermath, I earned myself furthermore time in detention, until lunch break—yet if I was unable to complete her mandatory tasks, then I would acquire a belated lunch time. Of course, in addition to the work she had already assigned me previously, she added another one. She dumped a huge piece of book and told me to analyze it and write an essay of longer than a thousand words on paper about it.
I realized she was insane, then. But I didn't retort, as I was aware the fault was within me nonetheless, and that would've gained myself even more and worse assignments to complete within a limited time. Therefore, I didn't push and left her be until she cooled down on her temperament.
After hours had crawled out the window, I completed the first set of tasks she asked me to do, which was the reflection. I had begun writing for the essay as well, yet it was still incomplete as there were only 500 words so far, and my brain was about to melt from how insanely overworked it was for the past hours. While 500 words wasn't too much of a difficulty, my brain was empty afterwards, and I was hung over the edge of a cliff.
Despite that, time had skipped a few hours away from me, I'm sure. My stomach began to whine for food before starting to growl. Then I was hungry, and stressed. Though luckily, there was a clock and I saw that it was just a few more minutes before lunch break. Right on cue, the teacher came and she looked at the stacked paper of the first set of work she had told me to do, and the essay that I was still working on. She took the first set of work and looked over it, before returning it to me and I definitely didn't miss her small smile of satisfaction.
"You'll have your lunch break after 15 minutes," she stated.
Her steps echoed through the hallways once she left the room, and this time—she left it unlocked. Which is good, since I would've expected her to have forgotten about me if she locked it and left me in here while she gets to fill her empty stomach and I'm here suffering.
Then again, I wasn't such a good kid, so I left earlier than I was supposed to, within 5 minutes of her disappearance. In my defense, I was hungry. Then I approached one of my classmates who had a relatively good reputation including character and asked them to buy food for me, handing the money to them, as I knew the teacher would be in the cafeteria, since she always is during lunch breaks.
Afterwards, I went off on my own as I munched on the milk bread bought by my kindred classmate, it was heavenly as ever, as always. Once I finished all of the food, I treaded and found the entrance to the library. I stepped inside as the door swished close behind me. I treaded slowly as I paused for a moment, pondering which area I should settle in. Another step, and though his face was hidden, I spotted Calix through his back form immediately. I took a step back, as I dithered in the thought of meeting him as the recollection of last night's events and my previous dream flashed through my mind. As if he could feel my presence, he looked back, interrupting himself amidst his activities. Our eyes met, and my heart clenched as I felt the urge to gaze away, yet I couldn't. His eyes held mine captive, and I froze. I observed as his body shifted, slowly—he lifted himself off his chair and he stood. He stepped towards me, as his eyes briefly glanced upon his table—click, and I was freed from hostage. My body rotated the opposite direction and headed towards the exit—the former entrance. I treaded out with an unsteady, rapid pace. It was heavy to breathe, my lungs held weight that I couldn't explain or understand why. I could only feel.
However, even before I could take my umpteenth step, a strong hold on my wrist stopped my movement and softly yet sharply tugged on it, causing my steps to fall backward, and my back met a chest.
I tugged my wrist, wriggling it slightly to throw his hold off me—which was futile. I refused to turn around, and he took his steps before he was in front of me, keeping his hold so I wouldn't escape. The tiles of the floor caught my eye, and I found its cracks and appearance incredibly amusing to keep all my attention solely on it.
"Aslynne, I—"
He paused in between as I glanced up to see why he'd stopped—I realized we were still in public space and people were staring at us. He grumbled underneath his breath in frustration as he dragged me elsewhere I wasn't sure. Yet, it was unpleasant. I continued making attempts to retrieve myself off him, and as my attempts grew increasingly harsh and stronger, the pain increased just the same, the urge to smash his head, to curse him off, grew just as much as my eyes began to sting along with my throbbing heart.
Once he halted his steps, and I noticed our surroundings were void and dark—I yanked my hand, caught him off guard as his hold on me finally disappeared.
"You do that one more time, and I'm never talking to you again."
I felt enraged, did he not realize how terrifying it was to feel weak. How incredibly pathetic it was—I was.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't realize—I won't do it again, I promise," he paused. His entire facial expression, body language—it screamed guilt.
As he fucking should be.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
He seemed to realize the impact of his actions and apologized repeatedly. I felt a pang in my heart, why does he look furthermore miserable than me? That's unfair.
"Just.. just say what you need to."
I decided I'd have this finished as soon as possible.
"I just.. um, nevermind."
He clenched his fist and undid it, which was repeated a few times before his shoulders drooped and his head hung low. He seemed in pain as his jaw clenched and his teeth gritted, I couldn't see his eyes through his bangs anymore. I had to fist my urge to brush his bangs back up to see his eyes, and I left silently.
I wondered if this was the end. I hope it isn't.
God, please don't let this end, I don't want it to end.
Not yet.
As I walked away, I begged my fate to have him stand in my way and discontinue my steps. Please, please stop me. Yet, it simply never occurred. He stood unmoving from his former position and I treaded with weight on my feet that pulled me backwards. Though eventually I've reached a separate area, one I recognized. I felt my heart race unhealthily, as if to bring forth my death earlier—which fate unallowed, and the consequence came up to cause my sufferings—a punishment. One which is untouchable, and undeniable. My heart, emotions. Unnamed feelings burned my heart as the excruciating welled my eyes of pain, which trickled down my skin one over the other. I had to escape—my emotions were overwhelming, they dictated, and held my heart hostage.
I had to escape.
So I did.
I ran.
Silently, I thanked whatever had emptied the areas I ventured, and I didn't have to see anyone in an awkward position.
Finally, I reached my escaped destination. I pushed the entrance as the breeze stroked my face gently. It was snowing lightly. Pieces of thin whites landed softly all over the place. I stood over the fence, gazing downwards.
Empty.
I could jump right now.
Intrusive coated my mind, however recognition had whispered, and I found peace with intrusiveness. Though my heart weighed heavily, the turmoil—natural disaster of feeling, had vanished. As a tsunami, that's returned to the ocean.
Only the aftermath lingers.
I passed the rectangular of walls that stuck with each other, holding the space of the entrance as I walked behind its back. The distance between the fence and the wall was very finite, a gap that could be completely covered by a singular person, with a reduced body size. I walked in between, and the fence pressed onto my lower stomach. I climbed my way through, stepping a leg on the wall, the other on the fence, and the initial on a higher level of the wall as I flipped myself over and my legs were draped over the fence, with my back leaning onto the wall, and nothing else holding me up. I smiled in contentment. I could really die right now. If I wanted to. The thought was somewhat comforting. As though I could truly escape this hell-reality of a life, and accept death as my ultimate escape, only with a small push and transfer of body weight forward. Yet, the choice was still in my hands. I could still live if I wanted to, too. The breeze blew against me, and while it was cold, I felt one with nature—returned to my origins.
A comfort.
The dragged entrance pushed open alarmed my awareness. I glanced to my sides, and whilst the newly-found presence is unknown, I didn't care to know either. I simply wish they wouldn't find me. I closed my eyes, inhaling the cold air.
Would Calix find me?
I wish he would.
Before I could do anything else, I heard steps approaching.
My heart raced with anticipation, yet once the said person appeared, my chest bubbled with relief. I tilted my head to the side, unable to stop the reveal of my happiness written through my smile.
He found me.
His face morphed—his eyebrows creased and his eyes filled with the birth of concern, anxiety, and guilt all at once, "Aslynne?.. could you get down?" he pleaded, realizing my position.
How close I am to the cliff of death, yet still on the land of life. I simply shook my head, returning to face front as I closed my eyes, feeling submerged within the wind.
Then I heard light steps and movement beside me, before I felt warmth on my side. I opened my eyes to see Calix positioned as I am, beside me.
"Forgive me?"
He requested—and bribed, handing out a tiny paper flower bouquet—a mint candy amongst it, seated on his palm. He had his feelings painted over his face, which I lightly laughed at.
"Okay." I grinned, as I took the bouquet and mint separately—out of his hand and kept the hand-crafted flowers inside my coat pocket before I tore the candy wrapper and placed it on my tongue, to sip on its flavor.
The mood shifted, "why were you late earlier?" he inquired, and I almost laughed remembering what'd happened earlier, and how ridiculously lengthy of a duration I had to be in the detention room. Though, it still felt quite mortifying since I knew that I got myself into detention with my carelessness.
I opened my mouth, "uhm, well I just.. got put into the 'detention' room.." I made a 'peace' sign with both my hands, raising them up to my face level as I bent my straightened fingers on the word "detention", as a gesture to show it wasn't truly legitimate. Truthfully, everyone knew there was not an existence of a "detention" room, that was simply dumb. We were adults. Yet, certain teachers used that room for that very purpose—so it was the easiest term to call. I smiled sheepishly. He looked surprised for a moment, before further asking me about what happened.
"What happened?"
"I played with my phone in class and got caught by the history teacher.."
"I don't think you should be put into detention that long even if that were the case.. What period was your history class?"
"First period.. but it was my own fault. After she locked me in the detention room and gave me paper to write my reflection and stuff—I decided to take a nap.. but it went longer than I thought, and when she checked in on me, she found me asleep so she scolded me and gave me more work and longer time to stay in the room."
"Oh, no wonder.. Hahaha, what work did she assign you to do?"
"She told me to write an essay of a thousand words. Ugh."
I rolled my eyes and despite being annoyed enough with what's happened already, he laughed hysterically after hearing what I said. It made me want to smack his head just as much as I do with the history teacher.
"Damn, that sure is tough work though." He said in understanding after calming down, and I nodded pensively in agreement.
"Were you.. um, drawing earlier? When I came."
I inquired, feeling slightly shy at the randomness of my question.
"Oh, yeah. I was."
He seemed slightly taken aback and nearly flustered as he seemed to recall his former activities.
"What were you drawing? If you don't mind.."
I sneaked a glance at him as I watched in intrigue, his cheeks slowly tinted with pink. My curiosity grew for his answer.
"The view, and.. the most beautiful woman in my life."
He said, smiling rather bashfully, but I could see his sincerity sparkling in his eyes. I nearly felt envy, for only his eyes held the beauty of an art, undominated by any other. With his entire appearance, I would believe it if he claimed to be a Greek God. And he's saying there's someone he—the most beautiful man I've seen, regards pulchritudinous? Albeit his words brought a heavy pang to my heart, I opted to clear and halted my mind of any activities—thoughts, for the sake of the discontinuing, or reducing the chances of feeling. However, I couldn't stop myself from capturing his gaze—one of love. My heart bruised, although it was my initial desire—or supposedly. My observation always had increased accuracy and validity in third persons, compared to first.
Once I returned my gaze, I realized he'd been staring at me beforehand. However, he held an expression of.. hesitance, and one I can't pinpoint—a negative one. I kept mum, refusing to pry.
"Wanna see later?.."
He slightly looked down, his shyness causing my heart to punch loudly, as my breaths turned shallow.
"Sure."
I accepted his offer as I felt somewhat uneasy about the reveal of said woman in his life. Yet, perhaps once I did—these feelings I harbored due to the man before me would finally disappear.
The wind sang loudly, attacking us both as I wavered from my position—I slid downwards on the wall, as my brain began its calculations in regards to how I could return to my feet. I met Calix's gaze who laughed at me, his position unfaltering. Then he pressed his palms on the wall beneath him, before lifting one leg off the fence, his biceps flexing with other muscles holding him up from falling, though I can't see it through his jacket—I know it anyway. Once his feet landed on the ground, he steadily landed the other on the ground as well. Then he stood straight, staring at me observantly. I slid further downwards and I slightly panicked. I can't do what he did earlier with my unbalanced weight distribution—I would land on my bum. So I returned his stare as I smiled sheepishly.
"Help me?" I pleaded, and he lightly chuckled before stepping towards me.
Then he leaned close as he bent his knees, bracing his arms below my thighs and slipping one behind my back. He stayed for a moment, keeping his eyes on me, at close proximity.
I could see the way his eyelashes flutter—very softly—against the wind, yet how unfaltering his stare is—no, it wasn't a stare, it wasn't a look. A gaze—it made me feel, though I'm unsure as to what feeling he's trying to emerge within me.
I breathe shakily, I could…
However, before I was able to do anything—he lifted me up and placed me gently on the ground. I wanted to facepalm myself, I nearly made myself a form of embarrassment and hypocrisy, damn. His face is honestly dangerous.
I quickly exited through the same door I entered, with Calix tailing behind me, as we took a moment to bask ourselves within the warmth. Then we decided to separate ways and return, bidding farewells. I returned to the detention room with the intention of completing the essay.
Though, I couldn't.
I was stuck on the same words, thoughts, and ideas that are simply unsatisfactory. Eventually I passively laid my head on my arm as I held my pencil that seemed so interesting at the moment, twirling and examining—hoping an ounce of inspiration would rush in my veins, in my brain and I'd be able to finish this soon.
Right then, I heard footsteps approaching—dreading any more work sent my way, I sat up straight, posed as though deep in thought, whilst scribbling ciphered symbols I had no idea how to decipher on my upside down paper. Suddenly, the footsteps stopped—close. The door whimpered as it unveiled the owner of those footsteps, revealing..
Calix. With the history teacher.
I felt her glance at me before snatching the paper under my hands and examined it for a second, returning it afterwards. She proceeds to scold Calix for his childish behavior in class and assigned him work to do as she reminded us both that we are not to leave this room unless we complete our work.
I groaned loudly as soon as she left—door clacking softly as she locked it—and Calix sighed, before laughing out of nowhere. I looked at him amused, wondering why he was sent here in the first place, and especially after I informed him in regards to my situation earlier.
It was quite obvious nonetheless.
"Honestly, I don't even know what you did, but you did it on purpose, didn't 'cha?"
I quirked up an eyebrow with my lips twitching upwards as he grinned goofily.
"Well.. in my defense, her lesson was boring, and useless. Double kill, don't you think?" he said, grinning amusingly.
I chuckled lightly, deciding to play along with his silly excuse.
"Oh my gosh, how are you still alive then?!" I faked a shocked expression, before the both of us exploded in laughter.
"That was the worst joke I've ever heard in my life," he says in between laughs, and I hit him lightly on the arm.
"If it was the worst joke, then you must have the worst humor," I teased back once I regained some composure, giggling lightly amongst my words.
"I guess so, but that means you're the worst comedian." He ended the final blow, but we both laughed it off without any more retorts.
"So.. what did you actually do anyway?"
"I literally just cussed."
"Really? That's it?"
"Yeah, I mean like.. occasionally, but still—it was just a bit of swearing."
"Uh-uh.."
I looked at him, unimpressed with his attempt to somewhat sugarcoat his sins.
"Okay, fine. I cussed her out the entire lecture."
My jaw dropped, and so did my eye sockets—or perhaps it was my eyes that expanded. Perhaps both.
He smiled unseriously, "yup. Glad I'm alive."
My eyes stayed wide in awe, he read my mind.
He deadpanned, "no. I read your face."
He did it again. My eyes grew wider, and he facepalmed as if he could read my thoughts once more.
Well—that aside, I was genuinely questioning how he's simply standing right before me at the moment. As if my thoughts echoed in his head again, he laughed at my speechlessness until I broke out of my trance.
"What work did she assign to you?"
"She told me to write a 500 word reflection on myself and a 500 word analysis on that book."
He pointed to the same book I was told to analyze, but the amount of words differentiates our task.
A ting went off as I thought of a brilliant idea and tried to wear a cutesy—or what I think is a cutesy expression on my face.
"Hey—um.. do you wanna trade? I promise I'm not increasing your workload.."
I blinked a few times while smiling as widely as I could. He looked quite stunned for a bit, before looking at me suspiciously.
"..What is it?"
"Can we trade? I've already done a 500 word analysis on the book, so you just need to continue the rest of the 500 words, and I do your 500 word reflection! Okay? Please?.."
I looked at him pleadingly—slowly pushing my paper work towards him—and he seemed almost flustered before planting his palm on my forehead and pushing me away—which was excluded from my awareness that I had closed a great amount of distance between us. Bashful boiled beneath my chest—feeling shy of my own actions.
"Alright, alright.. jeez. You're exploiting me like this, huh.." He said sulkingly, and I looked at him blankly.
"Well, if you don't wanna do it, it's fine I can just do it on my own—"
I dragged my paper back, but he placed his hand over mine to stop me and turned his head to look at me, unbeknownst to the proximity between us that'd only increased since earlier—I could immediately feel his breath.
My heart jumped fleetingly.
"I'm just joking, Aslynne.."
He lightly chuckled, and I was still in a flustered state before snapping out of it and leaning backward abruptly to create distance between us and I could only nod to his apology as I still felt incredibly flushed from the earlier scene.
Then we considered further of our plan, our handwriting is different—considering how critical the teacher can be, we decided to do our best in an attempt to imitate each other's handwriting. Afterwards, we kept silent as we both proceeded to begin doing our exchanged assignments.
Writing a reflection is the easiest task I could ever do, considering it more or less writes something like, "I did this, and I'm sorry, I won't do it again," but prolonged with synonyms of synonyms of words and unnecessarily extended words that are formal to make it seem very sincere and polite, even if it really isn't. Analysis though, is quite a challenge, as there's a bit too many rules implemented; organizational structures, grammars, punctuations, transitions, and much more—unlike creative writing. I'm also a—"rules are made to be broken" —type of girl.
We both sat there with the only noise being the ticking clock, and the sound of our pens scratching the papers. I finished the reflection shortly, and I glanced to the side, noticing Calix had nearly covered the entire page with words of his analysis.
I drove my eyes upwards, seeing his concentrated face which I'd notice made him seem very different from usual. He was more often cheerful and bright around me, that I had no realization simply how enchanting he could be in seriousness. Since the first time I laid my eyes upon him, I've recognized his attractiveness, yet I hadn't realized he could entice with such varied allure, and without any actions too.
Though, more than his good-looks, his eyes pull mine with such gentle yet possessive force I can't evade. It was beautiful—a beautiful I drowned in. Short strands of his hair fell down, touching his long eyelashes and hindering his sight. My hand instinctively reached out, but before it could reach him close enough for peripheral vision, I stopped myself—retracting it, and clenching my fists. It would cause misunderstandings, and it wouldn't be really good. Especially considering I'd pushed him away the other night—it will cause confusion, and false hopes. I want to maintain this friendship bond of ours, I refuse to lose another one for fleeting feelings clouding my rationality.
I stared as his lips moved, mouthing words I assumed to be popping in his mind. Then he smiled lazily, his eyes settled downwards and he seemed almost tired and sleepy, yet his messy hair—few strands falling across his forehead, and by his ears—his shallow dimples.
It was.. Really attractive.
I couldn't help my heart doing backflips seeing such temptation, and I was occupied with that image—perhaps more than I should've.
He glanced at me, before turning his head completely over to look at me properly. Our eye contact stayed no longer than a second as I broke it off, before glancing his way and out repeatedly. The cartwheels my heart was doing had only increased by 5 cartwheels per second, which really isn't the best timing right now.
"Why were you staring at me?" he inquired.
I could hear the amusement laced in his tone as he tilted his head to the side as he rested his head on his palm with the support of his elbow on top of the table. Then he grinned lightly, similar to his lazy smile, but it felt.. more provocative.
Appearances never truly were a bother or such a fuss, be it hideous or beautiful. Yet one bothered me heavily—I was absolutely weak for an attractive smile. My heart would quake on a magnitude of 10, causing tsunami to wash away everything blank in my head as it induces the urge to gouge my eyes out to clear all sights other than that image, and crush my brain cells to clear all thoughts and visions other than that particular sight as my last memory.
"I just—um, you look funny. "I blurted out. To that, I immediately clasped my mouth shut and began to ramble apologetically in panic.
"I mean—like, you—not that you look funny—I just—sorry, I mean—uh, you look different when you're concentrated—"
My head was smashed into the wall in my subconsciousness, and I nearly did it in reality, but I held it in—simply waited in silence wearing an awkward smile as he laughed hysterically at my panicking.
"Alright, alright, I get what you're saying. But, what do you mean by that? Please, enlighten me."
A small glint of amusement in his eyes, and I felt as though he already knew the answer, only seeking it said aloud.
"I don't know, I mean you're usually always so cheerful and happy around me, so seeing you being serious for once is, well—a bit funny, and different." I said, chuckling at my last few words, but he seemed to understand what I mean quite well.
"Huh, interesting." He mused, grinning widely at me as he neglected his work.
I glanced at the time, seeing 10 minutes left before dismissal time, I looked at Calix who'd noticed my direction of sight.
"How much have you done? Can you finish on time or should I help?" I asked, I wanted neither he nor myself to have an extension of our time here any further.
"Yeah, almost, I just need like 100 words left. I'm alright on my own, don't worry. I'll finish it on time."
He said affirmingly, and I nodded in understanding. He finished it within 5 minutes and we spent the last 5 minutes staring at each other with our heads lying on our arms over the table in silence.
Right on cue—as I lifted my head up to see the clock—the door unlocked and pushed open, revealing the history teacher who immediately took our papers and scanned over it before handing both our phones and letting us leave. I left the room shortly with Calix following behind. Once we stepped foot outside the university, same destination in mind—I took out my gloves and wore them, while Calix wore his hoodie.
"Why did she take your phone? Weren't you just cussing?"
"I didn't think the teacher was the type to take people's phones if they didn't do anything wrong related to their phones," I muttered, more to myself than he.
"Oh, um, when she reprimanded me for my behavior, my phone rang—it was an unknown number calling, and she took it. I got an extra scolding 'cause of that."
He sighed, before laughing. He seemed to find various things amusing, which was quite nice. It's quite comfortable hanging around laid-back people who are rather carefree.
We were then by the entrance of Kint's Tale, so we eventually went up the elevator and bid our goodbyes. Once I entered my room, I immediately took off my clothing layers and prepared myself a warm bath.
I felt emotionally exhausted, but relieved.
I'm glad I didn't lose Calix.
I'm glad Calix didn't want to lose me.
It was an exhausting day, but I could finally rest easily.