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### **The Wish That Broke the Genie**
I twirled the ancient lamp between my fingers like a poker chip at the world's most dangerous casino. Janno floated nearby, his glowing blue form flickering with nervous energy.
"So let me get this straight," I said, stretching out on my couch. "The apocalypse is coming in..."
"Sixty-one days, seven hours, and twelve minutes," Janno supplied automatically.
"Right. And Earth's about to become an all-you-can-eat zombie buffet."
Janno nodded slowly. "That is... regrettably accurate."
I grinned. "Then I know exactly what my third wish needs to be."
Janno's form dimmed like a lightbulb realizing it's about to be screwed into a terrible idea. "Oh no."
"Oh yes." I sat up straight. "Janno, I wish for—"
"WAIT!" The genie zipped in front of me, hands raised. "Before you say something we'll both regret, maybe consider—"
"A fully functional Type 3 civilization city on the Moon," I continued smoothly, "complete with stealth technology, self-sustaining ecosystems, a fleet of spaceships, and an AI butler. Oh, and I want exclusive admin rights."
Janno's mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. "You... you want to be... the Moon's landlord?"
"Think of it more like... an off-world survival timeshare."
The lamp began vibrating violently on my coffee table, rattling against a half-empty bag of Cheetos. Janno groaned and pulled out his celestial iPhone. "Yeah, hi, it's me again. He's done it. He's actually—no, I'm not joking this time—yes, a Type 3 lunar—look, just get the Council together."
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### **Divine Panic Room (Now with Extra Drama)**
The gods' emergency conference room—which normally resembled a corporate boardroom designed by Salvador Dalí—was in chaos.
Loki had already turned half the chairs into giant rubber ducks. Buddha sat serenely atop one, meditating through the madness. Gabriel was hyperventilating into a paper bag that kept turning into doves.
"ORDER!" The Goddess of Loophole Abuse banged her gavel—which today took the form of a flaming scepter. "We have a Code Omega situation!"
Zeus materialized in a burst of ozone and poor life choices. "What now? Did the mortal wish for unlimited tacos again?"
"Worse," the Goddess groaned. She waved her hand, projecting a hologram of me grinning like a kid who'd just set fire to an orphanage.
The playback crackled to life:
*"A fully functional Type 3 civilization city on the Moon..."*
A collective divine gasp echoed through the chamber.
Michael the Archangel's wings burst into flame. "THIS IS BLASPHEMY BEYOND MEASURE!"
Lucifer, lounging in a throne made of damned souls, smirked. "I think it's creative."
"CREATIVE?!" Athena's owl screeched. "He's basically building a death star!"
Hades leaned forward, suddenly interested. "Can we at least make the moon base look like a skull? You know, for aesthetics?"
Odin's single eye twitched. "We are NOT accessorizing the apocalypse!"
Meanwhile, in the corner, Anubis and the Hindu gods had started a betting pool on how long until Ron accidentally destroyed something important.
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### **Snow: The AI That Makes Siri Look Like a Tamagotchi**
Back on Earth, my phone emitted a chime that sounded suspiciously like a choir of angels being mildly inconvenienced.
A holographic woman materialized above my coffee table—sleek silver hair, eyes like fractured sapphires, and a smile that somehow managed to be both warm and terrifying.
"Master," she said in a voice like a velvet-wrapped scalpel, "Lunar Metropolis is now fully operational. Shall I prepare your inaugural tour?"
I nearly choked on my soda. "Uh. You are...?"
"Your Type 3 Administrative Intelligence, Master. Currently unnamed."
Janno floated closer. "She's basically a million Tony Starks in one, with better manners."
I grinned. "How about... Snow?"
The AI tilted her head. "Designation accepted. Snow online and awaiting commands."
"Okay, Snow. Give me the grand tour. What exactly do I own?"
A holographic blueprint exploded into the air, nearly taking out my ceiling fan.
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### **Moon Base Alpha (Now with 100% More Doomsday Prep)**
The schematics spun before me, detailing what looked like a cross between Wakanda and a Bond villain's wet dream:
**1. The City Proper:**
- Population: Currently 1 (yours truly)
- Capacity: 500,000 (for when I feel like company)
- Includes:
- Zero-gravity nightclubs
- Holographic theaters
- An entire district just for snack storage
**2. Defense Systems:**
- 12 Dreadnought-class warships (dubbed "The Eviction Notice Fleet")
- 18 Stealth Destroyers ("The Polite Suggestions")
- 100 Fighter Drones ("The Mosquito Squadron")
- Planetary-grade cloaking (Earth thinks the Moon still just has cheese)
**3. Sustainability:**
- Vertical farms growing genetically perfected space potatoes
- Water recycling so efficient it makes Earth look like a leaky faucet
- An artificial sun because why not?
**4. The Really Fun Stuff:**
- Quantum teleportation pads (currently offline "for safety")
- A.I.-driven nanofabricators (make anything from pizza to plutonium)
- An entire section called "The Toy Box" that Snow refused to explain
Janno floated through the hologram, looking increasingly concerned. "You realize this is enough firepower to conquer a small galaxy, right?"
I shrugged. "I just wanted a sweet moon pad. The death rays are a bonus."
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### **First Contact (With Myself)**
"Snow, how do I get there?"
"A stealth shuttle will arrive in approximately 4.3 seconds, Master."
Right on cue, my windows rattled as something massive decloaked outside. Through the blinds, I saw a sleek black spacecraft hovering silently—like if a Lamborghini and a fighter jet had a baby raised by wolves.
Janno's glow dimmed to a nervous flicker. "I need a drink."
"You're a magical construct."
"And YOU'RE about to be the first human to commute to work ON THE MOON."
I grabbed my jacket. "Then let's not keep my new empire waiting."
As I stepped toward the door, my reflection in the TV caught my eye—grinning like a madman, eyes alight with the kind of glee usually reserved for lottery winners and arsonists.
A quiet voice in my head whispered: *When did I become the villain of this story?*
Loki's disembodied chuckle echoed through the room: "About three wishes ago, champ."
**TO BE CONTINUED...**
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